Going to work full-time ??

mamastich

So me and LO are settled in my moms house and im working anywhere from 20-30hrs a week and while I make enough to pay our bills (not including child support which i dont expect anytime soon since STBXH is unemployed) I may have a possiblilty to get promoted or start working 40hrs a week. I dont have enough money for fun things or to give my mom what she deserves for the roof over my head/groceries.

Im more curious, when did you start working full time? How old was your LO? Did you feel guilty? What did you do for childcare if family wasnt a full time option and any other ideas/suggestions/things to think about.

Obviously I need to work more but I dont want to miss out on this time with my DD either. So much to think about

1confused1

I have always worked full time and I have two kids.  They started daycare when the were 1 year old (I was able to have family watch them before this).

No, I don't feel guilty.  Both kids love their daycare and I love having a job that allows me to support my family on my own.

Raspberry807

Sorry you're going through this, it's not easy.

My ex ended our 7yr relationship and asked me to leave when DD was 2.5 and DS was 5 weeks old.  I was on maternity leave and had one week to find an apartment and get moved before I had to go back to work (I couldn't kick him out, I couldn't afford the apartment myself).  My kids stayed with an in-home sitter while I worked because she was cheaper than a center and it was all I could do while paying for groceries, gas and rent/utilities.  In the beginning before I was smart enough to file for CS, ex paid half of childcare costs.  Fun things were free things

To answer your questions, DS was 6 weeks old when I went back to work.  I pumped at work and he was EBF for 3 more months and we had our evenings and weekends to snuggle.  I never felt guilty for providing for my kids, instead I felt proud.  6 months later I landed a better job, and 6 months after that I bought our home.

Is the promotion enough to get you out on your own?  Or would you be able to continue working part time and stay with your mom, but take some courses to help you in your career?  GL!

keychain01

I starting working full time a week after DS was born. My sister watched him because she was a SAHW. Then she got a job and my niece watched him during the summer, and then my mom watched him after the summer was over. He is going into a daycare in a month. He is almost two by the way. I have been very lucky that I have had a fortunate enough family that has helped me out, but now I feel like he needs to be around more kids. I do feel guilty that I don't spend enough time with him, but when I do its awesome (or at least I try to make it awesome). Since my son is an only child I can tell he gets soo bored not being around children, so sometimes I feel guilty about that too.

I guess there was no advice in there besides everything is a learning process with kids!

CFjo2010

I started working full time when my son was 6 weeks old and even after my daughter was born. They're 12 and 8 now, and I only recently dropped to part time when I got remarried. Yes, at times I felt guilty working full time an going to school, but the sense of accomplishment and pride I had in knowing I was providing for my kids on my own outweighed the guilt. Plus, my kids saw how hard I was working and they've already figured out that you have to earn what you get. They don't have a sense of entitlement or demand many material things.

dufferoo

I went back to work full-time when my daughter was 3. Until then, I basically took handouts from my parents, but it ate at me like no other. My parents watched her when I worked part-time but did not want to do it full-time, so I signed up for Title XX assistance (not sure if that is just an Ohio thing; basically government-subsidized daycare) which paid for almost all the daycare costs. Amazing! She went to a full-time university preschool which I felt pretty great about and then we used the YMCA to supplement the half-day public school kindergarden program. I felt leechy about applying for Title XX but the nice thing is I used it as a tool for a couple years to get on my feet and now I am financially stable with no help from my parents. Such a relief! But yeah, it can take a long time to get there, so don't be too hard on yourself in the meantime.

PrincessFiona9

I have always worked F/T except for the 12 weeks I was on maternity leave. EX was unemployed so he watched DD during the day for maybe 2 months after I returned to work, but when I found out he was doing nothing but drinking and getting high etc I kicked him out and put DD in daycare and we haven't looked back. She was about 5 months old, and from day one she loved being there. I would have loved to spend more time with her as an infant, but at this toddler stage it's a relief to drop her off some days. She is exhausting! LOL

nikkilyn35

I went back to work FT when my DS was 7 weeks old, and it really bothered me.  At the time, I was living with my mom, not getting any child support, I made too much for any type of assistance, but not enough to do it on my own. 

 My mom did watch him for me until he was about 10 months old, but it wasn't without complaints daily so it made that first year kind of rough.  I finally started getting child support just before his first birthday and was able to get him in a really good daycare, but I lost my job at the end of April and spent 4 months unemployed.  Honestly, that was the best 4 months of my life.  I got some excellent bonding time with him, but I was also able to reflect on how I might be missing out on some things when I do work, but the ability to be self-sufficient made me feel good, and it's something I can pass on to him as he gets older.

 I've been back to work FT since September, I was able to move out of my mom's in December.  I'm hoping to get enrolled in school in the next few weeks if all my FAFSA and registration stuff gets straightened out, and that will be mostly online based. 

 hang in there, and just remember you are doing your best with what you are given.  a bit of guilt is normal and to be expected, but don't beat yourself up over anything.

mamastich

Thank you!

I think I can manage going full time and only putting her in daycare 2 days a week. I may put it off another month.

I know Im lucky to be able to just pay what I can to my mom but I know she is struggling. She watches DD whenever she can but she has a life and a full time job. I have sometime to explore my options so Im going to.

I love the positve perspective I can have if i choose too