would this bother you?

megann831 · March 2012

I was talking to my sister tonight about her vacation and she mentioned she's coming back May 16. I'm due May 20. It really doesn't bother me, but I guess I just think its sort of odd that she's not worried about possibly not seeing the baby for several days after he's born. We're close, we talk regularly and she sees DD frequently. All of our family lives close so all the parents and other aunts and uncles will see DS right away. She doesn't seem to see it as an issue at all, I just think that of all the time you could go on vacation, why would you plan it so close to when your nephew is being born. She said she had to plan it around when other people took off. I'm a teacher so I can't relate, but I wouldn't think it's that difficult. She's also single and 27 (only 2 years younger then me but in a totally different place in life), so I think she tends to be a little selfish. I guess I'm also disappointed because I specifically choose a dr that works out of the hospital she works in so she could see us when I deliver. She stopped by a few times a day when I had DD.

Would you even think twice about someone planning a vacation so close to your due date?

joshandpanda · March 2012

Im in the same boat, except its my actual mother who is going in vacation the week before im due...

lolabunny919 · March 2012

I wouldn't stress it too much.

My sister is going to be in the room when we have the baby, along with DH. But I am pretty sure that she is also planning a trip to Disney in May. I'm due May 30th. If I go early and she isn't there, then she isn't there. That doesn't stress me out.

It is what it is. Just bc she's going on vacation doesn't mean she isn't excited about baby. She was probably thinking that it is better to go on vacation before you have baby than later on. Worst case scenario, she doesn't see baby for a few days. I promise that he/she won't know any different ;-)

Lynnette171 · March 2012

My sister is going to be out of the country...and this is her 1st nephew. However, given all the drama she's been dealing out lately, I'm glad I won't have to deal with her till at least a month after LO is born!

dojo1 · March 2012

It'll be fine one way or another.

sugarbunZzZ · March 2012

Well, she is coming back 4 days before you are due right?

kg_08 · March 2012

My in-laws decided to go for a day trip 4 hours away on the day I went into labor. DH called them and was like "Ummm.. hello!" He pretty much made them come back because he wanted them here for the birth of their first grandchild. They're kinda dumb.

BitsKD13 · March 2012

I didn't know the world was supposed to stop or only revolve around me when it got close to my due date. How silly of me, I even encouraged my parents to take a vacation that they wouldn't return from till a week prior to my EDD with their first grandchild. What was I thinking... it should have been all about me! Hmm

You are honestly bothered that there is an off chance she may not be there when your latest child is born? And have you no other friends who've had to make vacation plans based on when there were enough people to cover for those who were out? Well come to the real world- I had a job where I had to plan my summer vacation by March if I wanted a chance of getting the time off of my picking and not based on when others were around.

I hate to sound like a b*tch but your sister doesn't sound like the only selfish one in this situation.

ktpaladino · March 2012

I don't think you can get upset with her when you never really know when you're going to go into labor. Who knows, it could be a month early, or even up to two weeks late. It sounds like she didn't have much of a choice in the dates. I think it's going to work out fine, just try to be optimistic. And really if she's not there when everything goes down, it's not the end of the world- you are going to be focused on and preoccupied with other things!

mlebates · March 2012

My nephew was nearly a year and a half before I met him... I have another niece who I will meet for the first time next month and she'll be 7 months old by then. So I don't think it's weird...

hass2001 · March 2012

I feel you. My in-laws planned a trip to Africa April 4-19. I am due the 16th. Granted they booked it one week before my BFP but they knew we were trying, wouldn't you plan a trip for 7 months in advance, or 11 months and not 9 months? Also my sister moved back home from San Diego and I was so excited she would be here for her first nieces birth/first months of life when she decided to move to the east coast 4 weeks later. So she will miss the birth as well.

I was upset for a little bit but there really isn't anything I can do about it so there is no use getting all worked up. I'm over it now, I have FaceTime with the in-laws and my sister so they will be able to meet her as soon as she arrives! Even if it is over the internet

BeerBeck · March 2012

BitsKD13:

I didn't know the world was supposed to stop or only revolve around me when it got close to my due date. How silly of me, I even encouraged my parents to take a vacation that they wouldn't return from till a week prior to my EDD with their first grandchild. What was I thinking... it should have been all about me!

You are honestly bothered that there is an off chance she may not be there when your latest child is born? And have you no other friends who've had to make vacation plans based on when there were enough people to cover for those who were out? Well come to the real world- I had a job where I had to plan my summer vacation by March if I wanted a chance of getting the time off of my picking and not based on when others were around.

I hate to sound like a b*tch but your sister doesn't sound like the only selfish one in this situation.

Although I may have worded the post a little differently, I agree with pretty much everything that was said.

I am a teacher, so my vacation dates are pretty much set for me, but someone like my husband, for example, has to book his vacation dates in November for the entire next year. So, if your sister is having to accomodate other people in her dates, she may be dealing with a similar situation and, as a result, should be given some slack.

ateal2490 · March 2012

BitsKD13:
I didn't know the world was supposed to stop or only revolve around me when it got close to my due date. How silly of me, I even encouraged my parents to take a vacation that they wouldn't return from till a week prior to my EDD with their first grandchild. What was I thinking... it should have been all about me!
You are honestly bothered that there is an off chance she may not be there when your latest child is born? And have you no other friends who've had to make vacation plans based on when there were enough people to cover for those who were out? Well come to the real world- I had a job where I had to plan my summer vacation by March if I wanted a chance of getting the time off of my picking and not based on when others were around.
I hate to sound like a b*tch but your sister doesn't sound like the only selfish one in this situation.

Oh, come on. She's having a moment. It happens to all of us.

There's no need to respond with so much snark.

OP, it wouldn't really bother me because its before the due date, not after...and that's probably exactly what she's thinking too. And in all reality, she wouldn't be missing too much if she missed 1-2 days...chances are you won't be up for too much socializing while you heal. I know it sounds crappy right now, but chances are that she will be there....don't stress too much over it

To your sister's defense, planning a vacation around the requests of your co-workers can get pretty difficult (especially if there's a large staff). It really all depends on if you get 1st choice or if you don't get to see the schedule until its gone around almost the entire staff....it gets hard, I promise.

caitlyn0216 · March 2012

No. I don't expect people's lives to revolve around my due date. As long as I'm there (and SO, obviously), that's all that matters. I don't think you should stress it.

Aleja0918 · March 2012

Not at all. I actually can't comprehend why you think she's being selfish. I don't expect my family and friends to put their plans on hold to accommodate the birth of my child. It can be difficult to take vacation, as seems to be the case for your sister, so I'd tell her to have fun and enjoy herself. What's the difference between her seeing your son five hours after he's born vs. five days?

KeysEscobedo · March 2012

I would take what she said to heart. She's already answered you. Coordinating around multiple peoples schedules is difficult.

Scheduling used to be a big part of my job at my work. You wouldn't believe the kind of crap people have to do. That are a definite here and now. Weddings, Showers, Bday's, Graduations, etc. She has to schedule around those things and not around the maybe. She's not the only one involved.

This is about my husband and i. That is all that i'm worried about being here. I'm very close with all of my family. It will all shake out as it should.

jmgcoggins · March 2012

caitlyn0216:
No. I don't expect people's lives to revolve around my due date. As long as I'm there (and SO, obviously), that's all that matters. I don't think you should stress it.

This. I prefer it just to be DH, DS, and I...

Sascha3 · March 2012

hass2001:

I feel you. My in-laws planned a trip to Africa April 4-19. I am due the 16th. Granted they booked it one week before my BFP but they knew we were trying, wouldn't you plan a trip for 7 months in advance, or 11 months and not 9 months? Also my sister moved back home from San Diego and I was so excited she would be here for her first nieces birth/first months of life when she decided to move to the east coast 4 weeks later. So she will miss the birth as well.

Uhh...what if they had booked it in 11 months and you didn't get pregnant until 2 months later? Then they would have missed it then. I can't even fathom being upset they booked a trip before you even knew you were pregnant. And you can't expect your sister to live somewhere she obviously doesn't want to live just to be there for the birth.

tjkdlhb · March 2012

If it were my sister, I don't think it would bother me... If she is not there on the actual delivery day, she will be there shortly after. Like you said, she's got to work around a lot of other people's schedules.

Last night, my father invited DH to a camping trip for May 24... I'm due May 25. I vetoed that one pretty darn quick!

smacb · March 2012

No, it wouldn't bother me. As others said, the world doesn't revolve around my pregnancy.

My brother lives a 10 hour drive away. I saw his eldest the day he was born and the other two within two months of being born. He plans on coming to see this baby as soon as he can. He has a complicated schedule. What did bother me, was that my son was almost two before my brother brought his kids to meet their only cousin and in the meantime took them to Disneyland, Disneyworld, NYC, LA, the Grand Canyon and about 20 other out of state trips.

skibunny59 · March 2012

I'm due March 23 and DH's parents just left for vacation yesterday. They aren't coming back until April 8 so everyone is going to see the baby before they do. Even my extended family like my aunts, uncles, and cousins. I'm a little bothered by it but I would be even more pissed if it were my own parents. DH hasn't talked about it much but I can tell he is really hurt that his parents aren't going to be around. This is our first baby.

skibunny59 · March 2012

If she's coming back 4 days before you are due she will probably be here for the birth. I wouldn't stress about it. Most people go past their due date not before. I thought she was going to be gone during your due date.

KrissyMiss · March 2012

Honestly I can understand why you'd be a little bit upset by this, especially if you're close, BUT it sounds like this is the only time that works for her to go on vacation (and why shouldn't she get some r&r?). As pp have said, at least she'll be coming back before you EDD and not after.

gisa886 · March 2012

I wouldn't be even a little bothered. She isn't going to miss much if she doesn't see your child ASAP.

alisds · March 2012

kg_08:
My in-laws decided to go for a day trip 4 hours away on the day I went into labor. DH called them and was like "Ummm.. hello!" He pretty much made them come back because he wanted them here for the birth of their first grandchild. They're kinda dumb.

I would love it if my MIL spontaneously went out of town when I went into labor. Too bad she doesn't live "in town" and is flying in for the birth and spending two weeks with us. I guess that's not too bad, and I've always really had a good relationship with her, but since the pregnancy she's be bat *** crazy. I could deal without that.

dojo1 · March 2012

hass2001:
I feel you. My in-laws planned a trip to Africa April 4-19. I am due the 16th. Granted they booked it one week before my BFP but they knew we were trying, wouldn't you plan a trip for 7 months in advance, or 11 months and not 9 months? Also my sister moved back home from San Diego and I was so excited she would be here for her first nieces birth/first months of life when she decided to move to the east coast 4 weeks later. So she will miss the birth as well.
I was upset for a little bit but there really isn't anything I can do about it so there is no use getting all worked up. I'm over it now, I have FaceTime with the in-laws and my sister so they will be able to meet her as soon as she arrives! Even if it is over the internet

They were supposed to plan around a hypothetical due date because you were trying??? That's one step beyond.

246baje · March 2012

hass2001:
I feel you. My in-laws planned a trip to Africa April 4-19. I am due the 16th. Granted they booked it one week before my BFP but they knew we were trying, wouldn't you plan a trip for 7 months in advance, or 11 months and not 9 months? Also my sister moved back home from San Diego and I was so excited she would be here for her first nieces birth/first months of life when she decided to move to the east coast 4 weeks later. So she will miss the birth as well.
I was upset for a little bit but there really isn't anything I can do about it so there is no use getting all worked up. I'm over it now, I have FaceTime with the in-laws and my sister so they will be able to meet her as soon as she arrives! Even if it is over the internet

You are ridiculous.

OP it is very possible to have to plan your vacation around others. My mother is coming from another country 20 days after my due date because of vacation scheduling at her job. Other people had planned vacation around Easter since last year so she took what she could get.

Yes it may be a bit disappointing but we can't control everything.

FroggyFarts · March 2012

raecammenga:
It wouldn't bother me. People have to deal with their own schedules and office politics. It doesn't mean she doesn't care about your pregnancy, she just needs a vacation. You can't really predict when a baby will arrive, so it is not really reasonable for her to put her life on hold on the chance that she might miss the birth.

This. Honestly, if baby comes early and she misses a few days -- is it really so bad?

Maybe I feel differently because my whole family didn't meet our first child until he was 2 weeks old. It was nice when they did. We were more adapted to the situation and LO was more accommodating of being held by multiple people.

It sounds like your sister is very involved in her current niece and I have no doubt she'll be very involved in your new LO. But missing a few days isn't going to hurt their relationship and I would hope it won't hurt yours either.

BitsKD13 · March 2012

DO-JO:
hass2001:
I feel you. My in-laws planned a trip to Africa April 4-19. I am due the 16th. Granted they booked it one week before my BFP but they knew we were trying, wouldn't you plan a trip for 7 months in advance, or 11 months and not 9 months? Also my sister moved back home from San Diego and I was so excited she would be here for her first nieces birth/first months of life when she decided to move to the east coast 4 weeks later. So she will miss the birth as well.
I was upset for a little bit but there really isn't anything I can do about it so there is no use getting all worked up. I'm over it now, I have FaceTime with the in-laws and my sister so they will be able to meet her as soon as she arrives! Even if it is over the internet

They were supposed to plan around a hypothetical due date because you were trying??? That's one step beyond.

I agree with this X100!

gisa886 · March 2012

DO-JO:
hass2001:
I feel you. My in-laws planned a trip to Africa April 4-19. I am due the 16th. Granted they booked it one week before my BFP but they knew we were trying, wouldn't you plan a trip for 7 months in advance, or 11 months and not 9 months? Also my sister moved back home from San Diego and I was so excited she would be here for her first nieces birth/first months of life when she decided to move to the east coast 4 weeks later. So she will miss the birth as well.
I was upset for a little bit but there really isn't anything I can do about it so there is no use getting all worked up. I'm over it now, I have FaceTime with the in-laws and my sister so they will be able to meet her as soon as she arrives! Even if it is over the internet

They were supposed to plan around a hypothetical due date because you were trying??? That's one step beyond.

Yeah talk about selfish. I really had no words when I read that

kmpls · March 2012

That is a bummer. I would be sad too since she works at the hospital and you were hoping to see her a bunch.

It's okay to feel down about something - I don't think you are overreacting.

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