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Working Moms
lola6711
member
Nanny Concerns
lola6711
member
in Working Moms
I have twin 10 month old daughters and a full time nanny. I'm a teacher and thinking ahead to next year, and I'm trying to decide if I'd rather have the girls go in an in-home center.
I'd like to list some pros and cons about my current situation and get feedback.
Pros: comparable cost to a center, she LOVES my girls, I know my girls are safe, my girls get to be at home, she is reliable and dependable (hasn't ever called off or been late), she does my laundry, I know exactly what my girls are eating, I don't have to get them up and take them anywhere in the morning or pick them up after work
Cons: she is really uneducated, she obviously prefers one daughter to the other, I just found out that her sister has been coming over without her ever telling me, my girls just play with the same toys every day, she doesn't really DO anything with them and I really doubt this will change unless I plan and prepare the activities, I have to prepare all the girls' food for the week, I have to keep my house really clean (no slacking and no cleaning lady), she wants to try new things all the time (like different nap times every two days, etc.)
I'm sure there is more, but that is all that is coming to my mind right now. Thanks in advance for your honest feedback.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Nanny Concerns
Son #2 - October '11
Son #3 - Hoping to adopt from China some time in 2014!
Our adoption journey: Talkin' 'Bout the Next Generation
I am a full time nanny right now, and I have a feeling right off the bat that your 'nanny' used to babysit and wanted to make more money with a full time position. IMO, a nanny plans activities for the week, has a lesson plan, an education background (atleast working towards an Edu degree) and a whole lot of other things. Yes, your girls are only 10 months, but someone that knew what they were doing would have age appropriate things planned for everyday. Being a babysitter is where you sit and play all day, not a nanny.
It is a bonus that you do not have to get the girls ready to leave the house in the morning, but the fact that you have deal with changing schedules almost cancels that out. It is hard enough getting one baby on a routine, let alone two.
The biggest red flag to me was the fact that she has guests over without you knowing. It is YOUR home and YOUR children. That is beyond unacceptable. The parents I work for have met my fiance and they never mind if he stops by to pick something up from me, and he occasionally joins the kiddos and I on day trips (especially to places in downtown Cleveland). I know the parents are totally OK with it, but I still ask 52 times beforehand.
The part about having a favorite I can somewhat understand from a nanny perspective. I do not really think it is possible with 10 month olds, but you never know. When you are a nanny it is very possible that one child gravitates to you and is not 100% clingy to mom and dad like another might be. I watch a 3 year old boy and 5 year old girl right now. I would not say I favor the 3yo, but we do have a better relationship because he does not have the separation issues the 5yo has. It does make a difference in the type of relationship I have with each child.
I have worked in both a daycare center, and as an assistant in an in-home daycare, and I am not a fan of either. Daycare centers, IMO, are not individualized enough (this might have just been the centers I worked in). I would try to find another full time nanny.
Good luck with your decision !!
We have a nanny too. DD is 2 and we've had our nanny for 1.5 years. If I were in your situation, the biggest issue I would have is her sister coming over. I would not like people I didn't know at my house(not to mention around my kid!) without me knowing about it. Especially if she is supposed to be working - she's not supposed to be hanging out with her sister. Second to that, I would not like my nanny switching schedules around all the time. The first thing our nanny did was figure out DD's schedule. Also, our nanny does tons of different activities with our DD. Yesterday, they did storytime at the library, and today they went to the park to feed the ducks. If the weather is bad, she will do craft stuff at home. Most of the time, I get DD's lunch ready for her, but there are also times I just tell the nanny what to make, and she'll do it.
DD has never been in a day care situation, so I can't comment on the pros/cons of that, but it sounds like if you still want to keep the convenience of a nanny, you could find a better one. It also sounds like your nanny doesn't have that much experience?
I wouldn't be okay with that. The education part, the sister coming over and her not doing anything constructive with your babies.
My DD goes to an amazing Daycare Center. The teachers who work there have degrees in early childhood education. They are extremely creative and do tons of things with the babies. DD is in a class with 6 babies and 2-3 teachers at all times. They are extremely strict with cleanliness, security, routine, etc.
I couldn't be happier with her situation. Also, they genuinely LOVE DD and she adores them.
I wouldn't trust in-home daycare. I just have a bad opinion of it. I would hire a full-time nanny and would look for someone with a college education or working toward one. I would pay more for better quality if possible.
In your case, I would switch to DC or find a new nanny. I'll admit to having perhaps an unfair bias in that I won't hire a nanny unless she is at least college educated. All of our nannies have actually had (or been working towards) a graduate degree, generally in education, but this wasn't a deal breaker for me. They have also always always asked before even meeting up with someone, ie- a relative at the zoo or park, lunch with a significant other, and have never had guests over to my house. Our neighbors are busy bodies so I am asked about every new person they see come by. Also I wouldn't care for the constant changes in schedule, my DS is a go with the flow kid but my DD is very schedule driven and those kind of changes would turn her into a cranky mess.
I have no issues with an experienced, licensed in home-DCP. We can't use one simply b/c of our work hours but in some ways it's nice to have from the socialization aspect. We have had to pay for and arrange baby classes (gym, art, music) to fill that void.
I appreciate all the feedback.
She actually came highly recommended by a coworker. She was with their family for 5 years and their littlest was going to school so they didn't need anyone fulltime any more. I didn't bother to check any other references.
I'll also admit that I didn't ask for any info on her schooling -- who would have thought that it would turn out that she'd been 'homeschooled', but never actually really taught anything. This is something that she admitted to me about 2 months ago.
The sister thing really bugs me. She wanted to take the girls with her to vote and she slipped and mentioned that she'd have DD1 with her sister (of course this is the DD she doesn't favor). I called her on it, but you know how after some reflecting you know you need to handle things better -- this is something her and I will be discussing on Monday.
I am thinking I'll just finish out the school year ( middle of May) about 35 days and then find something different for next year.
Hi, I'm fairly new to this board (been lurking) as I am 8 months pregnant and will be a working mum.
We are planning on having a nanny for our little one. She isn't highly educated - she's an older lady who never had the opportunity. But she is bright and likes to learn and enjoys reading etc. She is also someone who will follow our rules / schedule etc. And most importantly, she is someone we have known a long time (she goes to my old church) and I can trust her 100%. I know I'll have to plan some activities etc but she will love our LO lots!
The plan is to start LO at daycare for 3 mornings a week at 18 months. It's near the hosue so the nanny would still be with us then and would be able to collect him/her at lunch time. Those mornings, the nanny would do housework for us! We will then reassess at 2 and decide what is best for LO.
Anyway, my point is I think you would do best in looking for a new nanny now you know more about what you want the person to do. Good luck!