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pulling hair to get hair tie, acceptable?

SmootchySmootchy member
in Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months

Seriously, I feel like me and hubs complain about his niece all the time but wth?

we were out for dinner with the family, there were about 15 of us. His niece came up to me and sat on my lap (started to play with my boobs... I think she thinks the baby is in there) started asking me questions about the baby, when is she coming etc... Then bam, she just reached up and grabbed my hair, tried to pull out my pony tail to get my hair tie.

I corrected her, and was like, "honey, what are you doing... You don't pull hair. That's not nice. What if someone pulled your pretty bow out, it would hurt... Don't do that" (seriously, she pulled hard and it hurt)

Her mother was a chair over and just said, "oh yeah, she just wanted your hair band."

um... I don't care what she wanted... She can't just pull it out of someone's hair.

Then my niece says, "I do it to mommy all the time..."

If your daughter pulls something out of your hair do you let them do it because they want it and it's your kid so it's ok?

I'm seriously asking because DS has never been interested in hair ties, maybe now that DD is on the way I'll need to get use to my hair being pulled out?!

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Re: pulling hair to get hair tie, acceptable?

  • BejebusBejebus

    My kids are being raised to ask for something if they want it instead of just grabbing for it. 

    If DS or DD asked for my hairtie and wanted to pull it out, I would tell them that if they can do it gently, they can take it. If they ended up hurting me, I would stop them and explain that they hurt me and I would take it the rest of the way out myself. 

    You niece's mom (from this instance) doesn't appear to be worried about manners too much.   

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  • SmootchySmootchy member
    imageBejebus:

    My kids are being raised to ask for something if they want it instead of just grabbing for it. 

    If DS or DD asked for my hairtie and wanted to pull it out, I would tell them that if they can do it gently, they can take it. If they ended up hurting me, I would stop them and explain that they hurt me and I would take it the rest of the way out myself. 

    You niece's mom (from this instance) doesn't appear to be worried about manners too much.   

    Modified for clarity 

    ok, I could totally see a kid saying they want whatever was in your hair and you sitting down or bending over or whatever and as long as they were gentle etc, that being totally fine.

    This was NOT in anyway what happened. And I've seen her yank her moms hair before. I think she just lets her walk all over her. They are great people and good parents, but are raising a spoiled brat.

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  • vlagrl29vlagrl29 member
    I do not go for hair pulling and i let DD know its a NO-NO.....but that being said.....I always have some sort of sparkly hair pin in my hair holding my bangs back and she loves pulling it out of my hair every night, i taught her to pull it out gently and then i take it from her and put it away.
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  • BejebusBejebus
    Yeah, it's totally the question between a child asking to do something, and thereby being given the rules of them being allowed to do it... and a little brat just doing whatever she wants. 
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  • RayRay007RayRay007 member

    I don't let DD pull my hair or other people's hair. Sometimes I let her play a little (she likes to place my hair in front of my face, thinks it's hilarious), but I keep it under control, and don't let her play with other people's hair. She likes to go for glasses, but I don't get her. I would never let her misbehave and just explain it away. I always apologize, and the other person usually thinks it's nbd, but at least I don't look like I don't care.  

    I have a related issue with DH right now. He lets her get away with everything, even teaching her "bad" things. He thinks I'm too strict and no fun. He doesn't understand that she's at a very impressionable age and what is cute now (not that slamming the cupboards shut is cute even now) will not be cute when she's 2 or 3 or 7 and we'll have a hell of a time correcting the behaviour later.

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  • kg_08kg_08 member
    No, not acceptable. DD does pull hair sometimes, but is always corrected. If she wants something she needs to ask, and usually I make her say please too.
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  • GHBEAGHBEA member

    We do not allow hair pulling or anything being pulled from the head.

    Nice to know others call it a hair tie.  Sometimes I get funny looks when I call them that. 

                                                 Mom to 4 wonderful daughters
                                 Breanna, Ellie and 
                                 our 2 rainbow babies.

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