Working Moms

Quit my long term, stable job for part time???

Would love some advice....... Currently have a good job, great benefits, good salary. Work full time and then some. My husband works... good job, no benefits and makes less than i do.

My son is almost two, but I still have a really hard time leaving him everyday.... mostly because i hate that he is with someone other than his parents most of the time. And that by the time I get home from work we have 2 - 3 hours together.... which includes dinner, clean up, and bath time. I miss him so much.... that I actually dread going to work (which stinks, because i used to love my job). I long to be home with him each day.

I recently had a job offer to work for a small company... part time (<20hrs), and can work from home often. The money will be significantly less... would not have the benefits I have now, but would have health insurance. And I am slightly concerned about the long term stability of the company.....but would be able to be home with my little guy much more often. We would have to change our lifestyle pretty significantly if i do this... together, we would be making just enough money to pay our bills (would not be able to address debt or savings at first). I do have total support from my husband. Oh, and we would love to have another baby as soon as possible.....

So what would you do? Or I would love to hear from some moms that have made a big, scary change like this.....

Re: Quit my long term, stable job for part time???

  • I'd be concerned with the fact that you'd be making just enough to pay bills and looking to have another one asap.  How will you pay for #2's childcare for the 20 hours you work, plus the other baby related expenses?  I'd also be miserable if I only had 2-3 hours with DD, but maybe you can keep looking for a p/t option with better pay.  Plus, if you're TTC, why not wait to have the baby so you'll make sure you have maternity leave, then hopefully find something p/t
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  • imagelasposa425:
    Could you ask your current employer to go part time, or reduced hours so that you keep your benefits but would have more time at home?

    I would try this. But if their answer is no I'd lean towards taking the part time job. As long as you can live in a way you are comfortable and aren't stressing each month about bills it would be worth it to me. 

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  • Thank you.... and yes, i've thought about that. They would try to do that for me..... but I would end up having 40 hours of work to do, either way :(
  • imagemegann831:
    I'd be concerned with the fact that you'd be making just enough to pay bills and looking to have another one asap.  How will you pay for #2's childcare for the 20 hours you work, plus the other baby related expenses?  I'd also be miserable if I only had 2-3 hours with DD, but maybe you can keep looking for a p/t option with better pay.  Plus, if you're TTC, why not wait to have the baby so you'll make sure you have maternity leave, then hopefully find something p/t

    Well, childcare costs wont be an issue if I work part-time. And I appreciate your advice... that is actually what we originally thought about doing. But this part time job wont come up again... it is working for my FIL, and he is a very understanding grandpa :) So i am afraid to wait too long, miss my chance, and get stuck where I am forever!

  • Being able just to pay the bills would not work for me.  There are too many unexpected expenses that come up in life and possibly needing to go into debt to cover that would make me a nervous wreck.  Plus if you're planning on a second baby there will be expenses that go along with that--like the daycare you'll need while you work pt.

    Can you reduce your hours at your current employer?

    It sounds like you're so unhappy where you are right now, but I find it helps to focus on the all the positive things.  You have a job that supports your family with great benefits.  You have your evenings and weekends to completely focus on your LO. 

    Whatever you decide I'd definitely make a very detailed budget first to make sure pt could work out. 

  • imageskyejo:

    Being able just to pay the bills would not work for me.  There are too many unexpected expenses that come up in life and possibly needing to go into debt to cover that would make me a nervous wreck.  Plus if you're planning on a second baby there will be expenses that go along with that--like the daycare you'll need while you work pt.

    Can you reduce your hours at your current employer?

    It sounds like you're so unhappy where you are right now, but I find it helps to focus on the all the positive things.  You have a job that supports your family with great benefits.  You have your evenings and weekends to completely focus on your LO. 

    Whatever you decide I'd definitely make a very detailed budget first to make sure pt could work out. 

    We think alike, as "just paying the bills" is my biggest concern with this whole situation! I just feel like this could be my chance..... And thank you for reminding me about the positive.... normally, I am so good about that, but for some reason lately I've been forgetting to do so. It's crazy how fast the evenings and weekends go by... I just feel like I'm missing my son's childhood. Maybe because his second birthday is coming up..... But I am very lucky, to even have this decision to make, I know that. Really appreciate your input........

  • This sounds like a recipe for disaster. Not being able to address debt or save means your budget is WAY too tight for comfort.  I know it sucks...my DS goes to bed an hour after we get home, and I miss him. But you'd be putting your family's financial future at risk by doing this.
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  • imagePrivacyWanted:
    imageskyejo:

    Being able just to pay the bills would not work for me.  There are too many unexpected expenses that come up in life and possibly needing to go into debt to cover that would make me a nervous wreck.  Plus if you're planning on a second baby there will be expenses that go along with that--like the daycare you'll need while you work pt.

    Can you reduce your hours at your current employer?

    It sounds like you're so unhappy where you are right now, but I find it helps to focus on the all the positive things.  You have a job that supports your family with great benefits.  You have your evenings and weekends to completely focus on your LO. 

    Whatever you decide I'd definitely make a very detailed budget first to make sure pt could work out. 

    This.  

    It's our long-term plan to have me PT or SAHM by the time our DD is in school (she's 18months now).  technically I could stay home right now, but it would mean we'd just be making enough to cover our bills.  There would be no room for "extras" and we wouldn't be getting rid of our debt.    Plus by my continuing to work for a few years we're able to build up a pretty hefty savings account, so that if anything were to happen to DH's job we wouldn't be up a creek without a paddle

    I'm really loving all this feedback.....I see your point. I know I really "should" keep working full time. On the posititve side, we do have a 401, that we could survive on for quite a while, if something were to happen with DH's job.

    If you dont mind, i would love to ask you a question... Why is it that you would like to work part time when your DD is in school, while working full time now? I for some reason feel the opposite, stay home more now, work more when they're in school. I'm in no way questioning your beliefs.... would just love to understand. I only have my one little guy, so i dont know what its like to have school aged children.

  • imageportersmommy10:

     And I am slightly concerned about the long term stability of the company. We together, we would be making just enough money to pay our bills (would not be able to address debt or savings at first). Oh, and we would love to have another baby as soon as possible.....

    The fact that you don't know the stability of the company raises a huge red flag to me. Even if it is with family or not. You don't want to stop working at a decent paying, with benefits job to start something that in the end you knew going into wasn't going to be stable. And what if you get pregnant again? If the company you go to is not stable and you lose your job, then you will have no way of supporting your two children...not to mention then you would be without health insurance. It might not be fair that you don't get as much time with your children, but let me tell you, it would be a lot more unfair to your child(ren) if you went into something knowing it might not work out and then have no health insurance or income.

    I agree when you get home, put chores/cleaning up aside until after your child goes to sleep. This way you can max out the time you have with him. I get home around 5ish and DD goes to sleep at 8 so we too have about 3 hours when I get home. We make the most out of our time together. I put my cleaning aside...and give her my full on attention until it is time for bed. Before bed we take about 15 minutes and just snuggle up together. What makes your time together special is what you do with it...don't look at it as only 3 hours....look at it like what are we going to do in 3 hours that is special...and make it that way!

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  • imageportersmommy10:
    imageskyejo:

    Being able just to pay the bills would not work for me.  There are too many unexpected expenses that come up in life and possibly needing to go into debt to cover that would make me a nervous wreck.  Plus if you're planning on a second baby there will be expenses that go along with that--like the daycare you'll need while you work pt.

    Can you reduce your hours at your current employer?

    It sounds like you're so unhappy where you are right now, but I find it helps to focus on the all the positive things.  You have a job that supports your family with great benefits.  You have your evenings and weekends to completely focus on your LO. 

    Whatever you decide I'd definitely make a very detailed budget first to make sure pt could work out. 

    We think alike, as "just paying the bills" is my biggest concern with this whole situation! I just feel like this could be my chance..... And thank you for reminding me about the positive.... normally, I am so good about that, but for some reason lately I've been forgetting to do so. It's crazy how fast the evenings and weekends go by... I just feel like I'm missing my son's childhood. Maybe because his second birthday is coming up..... But I am very lucky, to even have this decision to make, I know that. Really appreciate your input........

    I find that I have good and bad days.  Some days I love my work life balance, love that DD is thriving in daycare, love bringing home a paycheck.  Other days I worry that I'm not spending enough time with her, worry that I'm being selfish because we *could* get by on just DH's income, worry that I'm making a bad decision by working.  I think back and forth thoughs like that are normal but if you can't swing part time by all means don't knock yourself down about it.  You're doing what's best for your family and that makes you a great mama!

  • I understand where you are coming from (with regard to feeling like you are missing your LO's early years) but this does not sound like the most responsible option at this time. Since you want to have another LO, I would start planning now. Figure out a budget that allows you to pay off your debt before the next baby comes and build up your savings. If you still feel this way when baby #2 comes you will at least have choices as you will have paid down debt and boosted your savings.

    This probably won't ease your sadness now, but coming up with a solid, responsible plan will put you in a better position and give you options down the road when #2 comes along.

  • imageUpNorthGal:

    I understand where you are coming from (with regard to feeling like you are missing your LO's early years) but this does not sound like the most responsible option at this time. Since you want to have another LO, I would start planning now. Figure out a budget that allows you to pay off your debt before the next baby comes and build up your savings. If you still feel this way when baby #2 comes you will at least have choices as you will have paid down debt and boosted your savings.

    This probably won't ease your sadness now, but coming up with a solid, responsible plan will put you in a better position and give you options down the road when #2 comes along.

    I agree with this.

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  • KL777KL777 member
    My suggestions would be to keep your current job and buy additiional time off (leave without pay).  That way, you can spend more time with your child and not have to worry about being financially strapped.

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  • PPs have a lot of good points.  I know it's hard to be away from LO but you need to think about the financial security of your family as well.  Would you be able to go back to FT easily if your DH lost his job?  Are the benefits acceptable if one of you becomes ill?  For us, we would not be willing to give up long-term financial security for a few extra hours with our kids.  And I say we just because my husband and I have both decided that working full time right now is the right choice for each of us.  As for the school question, I fully agree that being home now is a more fun choice because hanging out with a 2 year old who does fun things is great.  But the care of a 2 year is pretty straightforward.  It's far less complicated than making sure your teenager does their homework and stays out of trouble.  For me, it's more important that I be there when my kids are older and will remember and when there are greater challenges for them.  G/L with your decision.  I'm sure it will be quite a bit easier to work PT but our long-term financial security is VERY important to our family.
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