Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Help needed for a university project
1. My partner and I are both 30-39
2. We will be using articificial insemination to conceive. I will carry.
3. I very much want the experience of being pregnant. Also, we looked at cost fo r all options, and conceiving a child of our own, provided there are no infertility complications, is the most affordable option for us.
1. Your age range: under 20, 20-29, 30-39, 40-49, over 50
Now 30-39 (but was 20-29 when we started TTC)
2. What method are you using/considering/have used to have children? (ie. conceiving, adoption, fostering) Did you consider other ways?
Conceiving with IUIs. No, we really didn't explore other options.
3. Why did you choose this particular method? Why did you prefer it to the others?
We wanted a baby. We wanted to experience pregnancy. I don't have the emotional fortitude to foster/adopt.
This is us as well.
1. 30-39 (both parties)
2. We are conceiving. Possibly both of us eventually, but her for now.
3. Two reasons. We wanted to have a pregnancy, to live that experience together. We were also interested in adopting or fostering but it's impossible for us since gay marriage isn't a basis for a green card in this country. My partner won't be eligible for permanent residency status until she graduates and has been working on a different type of visa for 5 years. I can second parent adopt her child--she can't do anything but conceive if she wants a child. Our options are limited. When it's my turn, we'll have to see what the options are.
1. We're both 20-29.
2. We are in the process of trying to conceive with IUI and an anonymous (technically open-id/willing to be known) sperm donor. I have learned about other ways, but I think we've always known this was our path if we were having children together.
3. You have the most control and the least cost. We want to experience pregnancy and infancy, and we want to know that our child is legally ours from birth. Adoption is expensive (domestic or international) and foster/adopt is likely to involve older kids and involve a lot of lack of control and uncertainty.
IVF Oct/Nov 2012
Beta #1 = 77, Beta #2 = 190, Beta #3 = 1044
Cautiously optimistic.
1. We are both 30-39.
2. I conceived my first DD with a man and we are adopting the rest of our children through foster care.
3. We chose to adopt through foster care because it made the most sense financially and it felt right to help children who needed the stability we could offer. I would have liked to have another pregnancy but we decided that if we couldn't conceive by the time I turned 30 than we wouldn't pursue that avenue. Building our family through fost/adopt is definitely a challenge but we prefer it to traditional domestic adoption because we can adopt slighly older children and toddlers.
Two Mommies Healing Hearts
1. 30-39 (both)
2. We tried IUI with donor sperm, but were finally successful with IVF. I carried.
3. I have always wanted the experience of being pregnant, and we wanted to experience it together. My wife has no desire to be pregnant, so we always knew I would carry all of our children.
2. Method we are using/considering/have used to have children: Conceiving via alternative insemnation. I will carry. We have discussed fostering, but that wouldn't be for a number of years.
3. We chose this particular method and prefer it to others because I have always wanted to be pregnant, we found a donor that's a good match for my partner, and we will have conception/parenting autonomy.
1. We are the 20-29 age group.
2. We are using artificial insemination with a known donor - I will carry. We will also consider fostering in the future.
3. I want to experience pregnancy and we want a child that will legally be both of ours from birth. Also, within the next ten years or so we hope to begin the fostering classes and begin taking in foster children as well. I was a foster child and I understand the need for caring and stable foster parents.
*DS 6/28/2013*