Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
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Re: Those with long distance (plane ride) visitation - a question
I don't think this will help but EX lives in Florida but only has visitation in Georgia. He is allowed to visit EOW but he doesn't. I won't agree to DS leaving the state with my EX until at least school age.
She should definitely get a new court order and adjust the visitation. He wants the baby a month at a time? Thats crazy! How often will the visits be? who pays for transportation? Ex. If he comes to pick up the baby to take her back to his state it's essentially 6 flights for him and unless he's made of money I dont see that happening. If he wants to see the baby he needs to visit at the home IMHO.
I was hoping you'd stop into this post as you were the first person I thought of with a situation like this.
My friend is actually the father, not the mother. But she claims that she'll pay for all flights, assuming she doesn't pay for daycare in her new location b/c she'll have friends/family to assist. Her other child got kicked out of several daycares here because she didn't pay them, she owes ALOT of money to my friend, and is generally a "can you help me out?" sort of person who doesn't think more than 5 minutes ahead in any aspect of her life and thinks people somehow owe her something. She's a slight trainwreck....
Does he have a court order? Mine says neither parent can move out of the county without approval by the other parent or the court. I believe here it's common that whomever moves away has to pay for transportation costs.
Whatever the case may be, as long as he has a court order she is required to make their child available to him during his parenting time. If she moves 2 time zones away I assume she won't be able to do that which essentially means she either can't move or she can't take their child with her. I've been wanting to move back to the state I grew up in (halfway across the country) but can't move for those reasons.
Wow. My XH moved from CA to TN when the kiddos were 3 and 7. I had it put in our CO that XH was responsible for all transportation costs associated with visitation since he's the one who up and moved for no reason. My kiddos only see him for 2 weeks in the summer, 2 weeks alternating Christmas, and one week alternating Spring Break. Anything more than that is disruptive to their school schedule. I did however put in the CO that if XH ever came out to CA, he could have vistation with the kids but he has to give me 30 days notice. He's never used it, and never uses the Spring Break visit.
At first an adult was required to fly with the children both ways (meaning XH had to buy 4 round trip tickets: one for each kid and 2 for himself). Once my oldest reached 11, I allowed the kids to fly as unaccompanied minors. With unaccompanied minors, they cannot change planes - only direct flights. Plus it allows a parent to go to the gate as an escort to ensure the kids get on the plane safely, and also an escort pass to get the kids from the gate when they return. I had a lot of apprehension about it at first, but if I hadn't agreed to the unaccompanied minor flights the kids wouldn't get to see their father the little bit they already are because he couldn't afford those 4 round trip tickets.
Moving somewhere that would disrupt the current vistation is considered a change of circumstances and she can and should have the CO modified. A month is a really long time for any child, especially a 14 month old. He's a bit nutty if he really thinks a Judge would ok that. How on Earth would you arrange childcare during your month? I can't see many childcare providers allowing you to hold your child's place while with Dad for a month. Plus, I can't imagine how confusing and frustrating that would be for a child to be away from Mom or Dad for a month. If 50/50 is so inportant to the Dad, he needs to stay close enough for it to be possible.
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Check with a lawyer. Here, if the NCP moves out of state, or more than 100 miles away, any other custody/visitation order is negated and replaced with the Standard Posession Order, and then modified for age.
For NPC's living more than 100 miles away, they have one weekend a month, at THEIR cost and YOUR convenience. Meaning, they have to get their arses on a plane, not the other way around.
Also, here, there is no such thing as "joint" custody. Parents can agree to it, but one parent always has "primary" residence and is considered the CP. The other parent is the NCP, even if time is spent evenly between two households. Texas is migrating toward the "new" realization that maybe uprooting a child every six weeks or every other month isn't a good thing. Need the other 40 states to grasp this concept.
Their current CO does not specify anything in terms of either of them moving during LO's first five years (that's how long the agreement is spelled out for).
NOW... she's planning to take LO on "vacation" for 3 weeks to her new location and is saying she'll bring LO back after that. The agreement states she must give 60 days notice for a "vacation" which hasn't happened and my friend will lose the next 3 weeks of his time with LO completely. I think she'll technically be kidnapping the child if she does this.
To make things more strange - she is demanding they mediate on a specific day while she's in her new location with her new lawyer, who I'm guessing won't be able to practice in this state or have any knowledge of the laws here. (The mediation process doesnt' work like that sweetie!)
IMO - my friend is being too lax in considering letting his X take LO for 3 weeks. Anything he can do to prevent her from taking LO or does he have to wait until she executes her little plan and then he can file for contempt of court to bring LO back?