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Going from 2 to 3

luvmygirls22luvmygirls22 member
in Parenting
For those of you (and your husbands) who were on opposite sides of the fence in terms of having # 3, how did you convince hubby to go for it? We still have until next April before we even start to think about it, but I am really wanting a third and I think he is more, eh I think we should be done kinda thing. Just wanted to see what you had to say. Thanks.

 
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Re: Going from 2 to 3

  • CubbyMama2CubbyMama2

    I'm kind of in this situation, although I'm not even 100% sure I want a third! 

    DH is totally happy with two and said he feels like there are really no "pros" to adding a third--only "cons" like having less time, less money, having to get a new car, having less space in the house, etc.  I thought I was done, too, but lately I do feel like I might want us to consider a third...but only if he's totally on-board.  I've brought it up once or twice but didn't want to badger him or feel like I was talking him into it, because I feel like those sleepless nights and hectic days are hard enough when you both go into it absolutely willingly.  I don't think I could do it knowing he was reluctant and just doing it to make me happy.

    Today, he saw me looking a little wistfully at my baby nephew and kind of smiled and asked if my ovaries were aching at the cuteness.  I said, "Yeah, a little, but I don't think you want to hear about that!" and he replied, "Yeah, I do."  Sooo...I'm not sure if giving him a month or two to just start picturing a third has made him begin to come around, or what exactly that meant, but I'm going to tread lightly and wait a while before I even bring it up again.  Like I said, I'm not even sure *I* want to do the baby thing again--some days, I really want to, and then when I'm tired or enjoying my uninterrupted sleep or having a rough day, I'm glad I don't have a baby in the mix, too.  Anyway, I have no idea whether any of that helps, but GL!

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  • AndiGAndiG
    I am in the exact same position as Cubby.  I have been wanting a third, but really don't know if its the best idea - right now is not a good time for us because we are in a two bedroom condo.  Also, I will not do it if DH is not 100% on board, without me badgering him into it - I almost have to have him suggest it because I remember all too well how stressful those early months are.  I go back and forth, but the feeling of not being done doesn't go away - I am 35 and as the kids get older (my youngest is almost 3) I feel like if it doesn't happen in the next year or so it probably won't.  I hope this makes some sense I typed quickly.  Sorry I'm not much help, GL with whatever you decide.
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  • shouldbworkinshouldbworkin
    We were opposite. DH was talking about #3 before #2 was born.  I was more "eh" about it.  time is what helped us.  I really couldn't think about it until #2 was 2 y/o and life got a little easier for us. 
    DS1 age 7, DD age 5 and DS2 born 4/3/12
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  • luvmygirls22luvmygirls22 member
    Thank you for your input ladies. DH and I have a while until we decide but it is nice to hear what you have to say. We will not be having number three unless DH is truly on board with it. :) (which I hope he will be by next April) 

     
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  • erincjacksonerincjackson member
    We were in the same boat too. DH was completely against "trying" for another baby but would have been happy if it "accidently" happend (love the way the man's mind works somtimes), he even had his vacsectomy scheduled but after it was cancelled and rescheduled twice in a month. He got to thinking about it and decided maybe a third would be okay. So we talked about it and now he is just as excited as I am about starting to try for a new addition to our family. Good luck!
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  • luvmygirls22luvmygirls22 member
    erincjacks-how old are your other two?

     
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  • elaceyelacey
    This was our situations completely and obviously I won out and got my #3.  I would say that DH was not excited about adding the third but he was willing to compromise because I was so adamant about it.  I knew that I was not done and that I would almost morn not having this third child that I had pictured in my head.  DH is very much a pessimist and remembered every negative thing about having a newborn around where I didn't care about the hard nights and crying fits.  I needed the third child!  We hashed it out for probably a year before he accepted my need and agreed.  I was not willing to have a third if my DH would resent me or the baby so that was discussed extensively.  He just had his vasectomy done on Friday and even though I had some major anxiety about it I knew that I could not bring up the idea of more kids ever again!  
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