WDYT about this x-mas tradition?

JulyFiveBride · November 2008

DH and I are trying to come up with x-mas traditions to start with our new family. We really want to teach our kids that Christmas is about giving, not just receiving. We've decided we will work at a soup kitchen on Christmas Eve and as a reward, our kids will get to pick one present to open that night. DH wants to do something like for every gift they get, they pick one thing that they own but don't use anymore (an old toy or article of clothing) and wrap it up to be given to someone in need. I think it's a great idea (and would definitely cut down on clutter), but I'm worried it will turn x-mas into a fight with young kids who don't want to give up their things.

In previous years, DH and I have sponsored families for christmas. We get the ages and address of a family at church who are in need and shop for them. We wrap all their presents and then late on christmas eve or early christmas morning, we drop all the presents off on their doorstep for them to find. I've always loved doing this and last year we included DH's youth group (they helped raise money and then went shopping and wrapped presents) and they really enjoyed it, so I think THAT could be something we could include our kids in... and it doesn't have the potential to turn into a bad thing.

WDYT? Am I underestimating kids or will it probably turn into a disaster if we try to get them to give up their old stuff for charity?

MrsAHoffman · November 2008

I'm not sure about giving up an old toy because I haven't had experience with this. But I love love love the idea of serving at a soup kitchen. There are more lessons that will teach your kids than giving up an old toy. They will see firsthand how privileged/ blessed they are and hopefully that will develop a heart of generosity for others that will be ingrained in their character permanently.

redhead2466 · November 2008

I really like the first idea...I think so many kids (not necessarily yours) have SO many toys, that Christmas presents can become more of the same and not necessarily special (or maybe one toy is special...I still remember getting my cabbage patch kid, but not much else over the years...) Getting them to keep a handle on things (and incorporating giving to the needy also) might really make them appreciate what they do have...JMHO

thejennigirl · November 2008

We clean out the old toys every fall BEFORE Christmas. It would become a fight in my house if they had to do it after Christmas, because at that moment, EVERYTHING is precious to them.

JulyFiveBride · November 2008

cmeon_the_water:
Well, for us, it's extremely important to teach our children to be giving and generous throughout the year- that it's not something reserved for the holidays. I also don't want them to be confused about giving- it's not something we do to get a tangible reward, and making it into a reward system, may mean they overlook the real rewards.
We volunteer with many different ogranizations, though- and expect our kids to help us pick the ones the family works with, when they're old enough to. We go year 'round.
You have to figure out what works for your family, though- it's not a right or wrong thing. But, neither of your approaches would be what we envision.

Opening one present on Christmas eve is actually a tradition from my family, so something we'd be doing regardless. We just thought it might help them when they are really young to get a reward for good behavior, kwim? That's definitely something I'm thinking about though. We don't want them to see it as a way to get presents.

We will do other things with them throughout the year to teach them these same concepts... but we really want to drive it home around Christmas when it's very easy to slip into a selfish mode for children. I agree that giving should be year 'round.

JulyFiveBride · November 2008

thejennigirl:
We clean out the old toys every fall BEFORE Christmas. It would become a fight in my house if they had to do it after Christmas, because at that moment, EVERYTHING is precious to them.

That's what I was thinking. I wonder if we could pull it off around thanksgiving time and donate to a charity BEFORE christmas... I love the idea of it, I just don't think it'd work out with young children.

thejennigirl · November 2008

JulyFiveBride:

thejennigirl:
We clean out the old toys every fall BEFORE Christmas. It would become a fight in my house if they had to do it after Christmas, because at that moment, EVERYTHING is precious to them.

That's what I was thinking. I wonder if we could pull it off around thanksgiving time and donate to a charity BEFORE christmas... I love the idea of it, I just don't think it'd work out with young children.

We've done it every year since Xavian was born. My kids think it's part of life.

DomerJenC · November 2008

Do you ask small children if they will donate x toy (i'm just asking). It seems like you'd just go clean out their rooms for them and that would be that. As they get older, they could take part in an age-appropriate way.

Honestly, I don't have kids and we didn't do this as children, so I have no idea. Seems like it'd be easier just to do it yourself while they are still quite small and have a hard time w/ empathy (it's a cognitive development that happens later on)

Galena99 · November 2008

We always cleaned out our rooms before Christmas and donated anything we didn't play with. This usually meant we each filled a huge garbage bag of stuff to donate. My mom said that we had to get rid of the new stuff to make room for the new stuff. We never argued because we were so excited about all of the new junk we'd get and didn't care much about the stuff we had.

triumphantreturnofplanningbug · November 2008

We always opened one present on Christmas eve

anyway, so I love that idea.

I'm also wondering why you couldn't continue to sponsor

families at Christmas, and volunteer at places like soup

kitchens that are swamped over the holidays and are in

desperate need of people through the rest of the year. It

seems that, like cleaning out unused toys in fall, it might

teach more of a lesson to do that sort of thing when it isn't

as expected.

jennterrell · November 2008

wow, your kids are lucky to be part of such an awesome family. It's great to hear there are parents like yourselves raising conscientious children.

another thing that older kids could do that would widen their circle of influence would be to raise money for a charity. Heifer International always has stores in their newsletter of kids that raised money to buy livestock or garden supplies for families in 3rd world countries.

I think involving them in shopping for the family you sponsor would be fun for everyone.

goodhartedmommy · November 2008

My son has voluntarily given up toys for charity, he's 2.5. I've had him pick toys, and he has. We always make sure they know that they are very fortunate, though, and that there are kids not as fortunate as them.

However (just my opinion), I would not reward them with a present for working in the soup kitchen. The lesson should be in helping people, not "what can I get out of it?"

Our tradition is to pick kids their ages and let them buy toys/clothes for kids who do not have all that they have. We donate old toys/clothes to charity year round.

KateLouise · November 2008

I garee that it shouldn't be a reward thing. It should be just what you guys do as part of Christmas.

I also think it's important for the kids to see you guys role-modelling wwhat you preach. So they see you go through your closet or your bookshelf or whatever and clearing out things to dontae of your own.?

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