2+ moms...is DH just not as concerned this time?

theabbey5 · March 2012

I have found in the last few weeks DH is kind of not as concerned about me this time around. This is our 3rd and I've been a total hormonal head case, so I'll cut him some slack. BUT I do feel like he is almost in denial that we have a baby coming. I painted the nursery, nursery furniture (with friends) and have done all the shopping for baby so far. He doesn't really talk about it much, but maybe that's because I talk about it enough for the both of us. We've always been really close and have been intimate throughout both pregnancies. I was turned down twice in the last week ... he claims it's because he has a cold...but what man turns down sex?! Anyway...just wondering who out there has noticed anything similar with DH and how have you addressed it without coming off whiny and needy?

smacb · March 2012

Yes! With DS he went to every appointment and was super-involved. This time, he's been to maybe one appointment and not as involved.

shouldbworkin · March 2012

I think we were both feeling that way around 26 weeks. Now that we're in the home stretch, he is incredibly helpful and willing to do whatever we need to get ready and make life a little easier on me. But, at 26 weeks, I think we were both enjoying the fact that I felt good and had some energy.

Monicagail1 · March 2012

I have noticed the same thing. I've basically had to beg and plead to get him to help with anything related to the baby's room, and forget any extra help around the house or with child care. It's doubly annoying because physically I feel much worse this time around then last time, and I actually NEED more help, not just want more involvement from him.

I haven't really been successful in addressing it. I pretty much just nag and cry to get things done.

thefarmchick · March 2012

smacb:
Yes! With DS he went to every appointment and was super-involved. This time, he's been to maybe one appointment and not as involved.

All of this except I'm on baby #3. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that it's not "new" anymore. It was kind of a shocker for him when his wife was hurling up every meal and in between the first time. This time around he didn't even blink or ask if I was okay. I called him on it once and his reply was exactly what I thought. He knew what was happening and if I needed anything I'd ask.

I do have to say he has REALLY stepped it up in the house work dept. He has really realized that after chasing 2 kids and not being able to bend over without taking my breath away I am getting limited.

staceyk110 · March 2012

Monicagail1:
I have noticed the same thing. I've basically had to beg and plead to get him to help with anything related to the baby's room, and forget any extra help around the house or with child care. It's doubly annoying because physically I feel much worse this time around then last time, and I actually NEED more help, not just want more involvement from him.

I haven't really been successful in addressing it. I pretty much just nag and cry to get things done.

Yes! This exactly! It's getting better now that he sees that things are harder for me, but still nothing like the first time around!

WildcatPrincess · March 2012

I told DH I've basically done everything to get ready for this baby and his response was "What? I brought the dresser up from the basement" Confused

winter-shock · March 2012

DH has been a bit different this time. He hasn't come to every single doctors appointment, he doesn't talk quite as much about baby and we are not having very much sex. Now the sex is because of me not him! I do think that it is mostly because he is busier with work this time and it's our second. Our DD#1 is just finally warming up to him and they are starting to bond so he is pretty focused on her. Which I love to see, he was so devastated for so long that she only wanted to be with me.

theabbey5 · March 2012

WildcatPrincess:
I told DH I've basically done everything to get ready for this baby and his response was "What? I brought the dresser up from the basement"

OMG this is EXACTLY what my dh said when I said I've done everything for the nursery. "I brought the furniture up from the garage and put the crib together" So funny!

rinny25 · March 2012

I told DH at my next appt I would be getting checked and his response was "the u/s are fun & exciting and I like those. it was exciting to go to all the apps last time because it was new. but I don't want to go to an appt with you & sit for 2hrs to watch the dr stick his fingers up you for 2 secs." needless to say, he has only been to the initial appt & none since which is fine with me. However, he has really stepped it up in the past few weeks helping me around the house & that is way more important to me. We did decide to wait and see what we have to make the nursery so I can't say he isn't he,ping getting ready that way. As I get closer to delivery he is definitely getting more excited

Want a personalized experience?

2+ moms...is DH just not as concerned this time?

Re: 2+ moms...is DH just not as concerned this time?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards