Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
covertxxamour
member
Re: Vent/Advice Needed
That's tough. Can you even cancel court at this point? If you can cancel and if finances are not an issue then I'd likely do just what you're thinking and not go to court. I totally get that most guys are full of it when they say stuff like that but if his wife is crazy then I'd probably not risk it. That said, I'd wait a couple of years and potentially file for child support then. If he doesn't see her for several years and you can prove he knows she exists then it would look bad for him in terms of getting visitation.
I would think long and hard about what you think he will end up doing and how that will impact your life and your DDs life. I don't think there's a right or wrong choice - just what's right for you. That's what I'd do but you should do what you believe is the right thing. Good luck!
OK, I think it's selfish for you to think like that. I know you say you don't "need" the money, but think of all the doors you could open for your DD if you banked that for her each month. Also, I would venture to guess that he is just blowing smoke up your butt that he will want to see her only if he pays cs. Ultimately, he is manipulating you. IMO, you should do whatever you can to foster a good relationship between your child and her father, as long as he is not abusive. Will it be uncomfortable for you? I'm sure, but as a mom we have to do what is in the child's best interest. Daddy issues are not easy to overcome, and can stay with a girl for a long damn time.
It kind of sucks that that is all you got out of my entire post. But, no, of course I didn't know he was married when he and I were dating for over a year. I knew he had 2 children, but he told me they were from a previous marriage. He hid it well. He stayed at my house a lot, and we went out together (dinner/shopping/movies) a lot.
I thought the same as you 7 years ago when I had my daughter. That I didn't want or need his money and I am not going to force anyone to do anything that they should want to do on their own, and I still feel that way today. I did not want him to have one privalege toward her if he did not want or earn it. And after a while (like 4 years) he came around but it had nothing to do with me because I pretty much acted like he did not exist. Today I have an account at his bank and he puts money in there when he pleases, and I make him buy birthday and Christmas gifts. He still does not spend any time with her, but I dont care. I love my baby (well big girl) and it is his loss not mine or hers. So my advice is if you can do it by yourself, then why not? Unless he makes a lot of money you are going to get a percentage of that and they will take into account that he has 2 other kids as well and for what? So he can bring your baby around a drug addict out of spite? I don't think so. Nobody can watch my daughter like I can, and I do not want her around someone who I know really doesn't care, not going to happen. I know everyone says that its is both parent's responsiblity and it is, but for me I have enough on my plate, and enough drama in my life. I rather my daughter and my daughters well being be the one thing that is calm, stable, and stress free!