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TTC after 35
Geekywife
member
Suggestions for the "When are you having kids question?"
Geekywife
member
in TTC after 35
I have a lot of friends who are asking when my husband and I are going to start having kids.
It took me almost 33 years to find a man as wonderful as my husband who not only treated me like I was the best thing to happen to him but also let me see a wonderful future with him and kids. We are married less then a year at this point. I am enjoying getting to know my husband even more and settling in to a routine and life together.
I do want kids and we are trying but I don't feel comfortable telling everyone that we want kids but apparently just haven't done it correctly yet. I am a very private person. Every time I get my monthly period my heart sinks. I would turn bright red if people started to get me advise on how to get pregnant.
I know that those who are asking are just joking or asking because they think I should be a parent. I have been just ignoring the statement, laughing it off, or saying something like we haven't even been married a year yet. Those are not working so much anymore and I am starting to get flustered. I need a way to say "I will tell you when I am, until then stop asking please," with out sounding rude to the people in my life who care. It seems like every time I turn my head some one asks if I am with child yet.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Suggestions for the "When are you having kids question?"
The people who know we had difficulties getting pregnant the first time thankfully don't ask us about a 2nd.
For the others who ask, my replies range from "That's a personal decision between my husband and I," "It's not that easy for us to get pregnant, so only time will tell." to a vague "we'll see" or a snarky "9 months after I get pregnant."
Some people will continue to ask anyway and I've just had to be direct and ask them to stop.
Good luck!
DD born 12.21.09, conceived w/ injects and IUI
TTC#2 since Nov 2011
BFP 2.6.12 m/c 6w5d | BFP 5.25.12 c/p
-Back to the RE-
3 medicated IUIs, all BFN
-Taking a break from treatment-
BFP 11.20.12 ~ EDD 7.28.13
My Chart
I agree with pps-- especially when it comes to a certain point and a snarky/rude reply is completely justified.
I always answer with "when it happens" or "your guess is as good as mine." And then I change the subject.
The only time I was outright rude was when someone I didn't know well enough to be asking me personal questions wouldn't let it go and I finally said "well, if you must know, when I leave here (work), I'm going right home to get all hot and sweaty with my husband in nasty, pagan, monkey sex so check back with me in 9 months from this afternoon. Have a nice commute home." She stopped talking to me pretty much altogether after that. And I have no regrets.
I think even just changing the subject is a not-so-subtle way of letting someone know you don't want to have that conversation.
Good luck-- I know some people just don't get it to back off, already...
<br /> My Ovulation Chart</a>
Dead silence & a cold stare followed by an abrupt change of subject works.
Most people are asking b/c they think it's an OK thing to talk about & don't understand the pain. They aren't being mean.
They usually get the hint.
When they don't, or if they ask again, I will say something snarky like right after you tell me how much money you make or someother intrusive Q that you know they won't answer.
That is awesome.