OMG. DS's dad is in the ER.

SmileandLaugh · February 2012

I really need some reassurance right now, I'm freaking out. My XB's brother found my XB unconscious, suffocated by a belt. He's in the ER right now and I have no clue what to do. We don't speak to each other, only for discussing when DS will go to his house, etc.

WWYD?? This happened last night and I'm just knowing about this tonight. DS was supposed to go to his house tomorrow afternoon (Of course that's not in my worries!)

I have no one to watch DS if I go visit him. Please, I need advice on what to do.

CFjo2010 · February 2012

You need to immediately go into Court tomorrow morning and get an Emergency Protective Order. Explain that the father is in the ER and was found unconscious with a belt around his neck. This is a terrible situation, and your son does NOT need to be around for it. Let him have supervised visitation if you so choose, but do not let him be alone with DS.

Good luck.

kmartinez80 · February 2012

jobalchak:
You need to immediately go into Court tomorrow morning and get an Emergency Protective Order. Explain that the father is in the ER and was found unconscious with a belt around his neck. This is a terrible situation, and your son does NOT need to be around for it. Let him have supervised visitation if you so choose, but do not let him be alone with DS.
Good luck.

This.

FyreFlyeRush · February 2012

jobalchak:

You need to immediately go into Court tomorrow morning and get an Emergency Protective Order. Explain that the father is in the ER and was found unconscious with a belt around his neck. This is a terrible situation, and your son does NOT need to be around for it. Let him have supervised visitation if you so choose, but do not let him be alone with DS.

Good luck.

This x2.

PrincessFiona9 · February 2012

Why would you feel the need to rush to his side?

I agree with PP's....go get the emergency order and keep him away from LO for now.

BeachBum1223 · February 2012

What everyone else said. Do NOT go visit him, protect yourself and your DS!

fauxshelley · February 2012

Why in the world would she want to get a protective order against her XBF? He is not a threat to the baby. He is in the ER FFS. It sounds like one of those issues where he was masterbating while choking himself (dumbass), but even if he were attacked, it doesn't mean he is a threat. I don't know the backstory, but unless he is a drug dealer or violent, no need to over react.

OP, lay low. Do not go see him, he is not your BF.

BostonGayGal · February 2012

fauxshelley:
Why in the world would she want to get a protective order against her XBF? He is not a threat to the baby. He is in the ER FFS. It sounds like one of those issues where he was masterbating while choking himself (dumbass), but even if he were attacked, it doesn't mean he is a threat. I don't know the backstory, but unless he is a drug dealer or violent, no need to over react.

OP, lay low. Do not go see him, he is not your BF.

Agreed. Not sure what the protective concern is without knowing more about what happened.

roxygulrjax · February 2012

fauxshelley:
Why in the world would she want to get a protective order against her XBF? He is not a threat to the baby. He is in the ER FFS. It sounds like one of those issues where he was masterbating while choking himself (dumbass), but even if he were attacked, it doesn't mean he is a threat. I don't know the backstory, but unless he is a drug dealer or violent, no need to over react.

OP, lay low. Do not go see him, he is not your BF.

Actually, it sounds like he's suicidal...but thanks for putting the sexual image in my head (gross). If he is suicidal then he is def. mentally unstable and needs to be kept at a distance from the child. There are stories of suicidal parents killing their children first then themselves all the time. That is what you should be concerned with. If she wants to visit him...whatever. But def. keep the child away and protected with legal paperwork.

FyreFlyeRush · February 2012

roxygulrjax:
fauxshelley:

Why in the world would she want to get a protective order against her XBF? He is not a threat to the baby. He is in the ER FFS. It sounds like one of those issues where he was masterbating while choking himself (dumbass), but even if he were attacked, it doesn't mean he is a threat. I don't know the backstory, but unless he is a drug dealer or violent, no need to over react.

OP, lay low. Do not go see him, he is not your BF.

Actually, it sounds like he's suicidal...but thanks for putting the sexual image in my head (gross). If he is suicidal then he is def. mentally unstable and needs to be kept at a distance from the child. There are stories of suicidal parents killing their children first then themselves all the time. That is what you should be concerned with. If she wants to visit him...whatever. But def. keep the child away and protected with legal paperwork.

If he's not suicidal or into Asphexia erotica, then someone tried to kill him. All three of these situations lend to keeping LO away from XB.

haleyw458 · February 2012

fauxshelley:
Why in the world would she want to get a protective order against her XBF? He is not a threat to the baby. He is in the ER FFS. It sounds like one of those issues where he was masterbating while choking himself (dumbass), but even if he were attacked, it doesn't mean he is a threat. I don't know the backstory, but unless he is a drug dealer or violent, no need to over react.

OP, lay low. Do not go see him, he is not your BF.

I agree. He may be suicidal but that doesn't mean he is a threat to their LO. Women get protective orders against their Rex's all the time ans the father's are still allowed visitation with the child but what is the difference now? I may push for supervised visitation while he is in therapy (if he did try to commit suicide( but I think and OFP is a little over the top.

And why would you go visit him? He is your ex. I get that you're worried...but a simple call or text asking if he is okay should do just fine.

CFjo2010 · February 2012

tifanico:
If she goes to court, what is she going to say? Peter told me that my ex was found with a belt around his neck. Will that be enough?

It should be enough. The man is in the hospital and whether it was attempted suicide, sex crap or attempted murder HE SHOULD NOT BE ALONE WITH A CHILD. Let's say it was a sexual thing, what if he was masterbating while his child was there? Posters that are saying this isn't a big deal needs to picture a child left alone because daddy is passed out from masterbating. I'm seeing a huge issue with this.

CFjo2010 · February 2012

tifanico:
jobalchak:
tifanico:
If she goes to court, what is she going to say? Peter told me that my ex was found with a belt around his neck. Will that be enough?
It should be enough. The man is in the hospital and whether it was attempted suicide, sex crap or attempted murder HE SHOULD NOT BE ALONE WITH A CHILD. Let's say it was a sexual thing, what if he was masterbating while his child was there? Posters that are saying this isn't a big deal needs to picture a child left alone because daddy is passed out from masterbating. I'm seeing a huge issue with this.
I am not saying is not a big deal because in my mind it is but will just hearsay be enough to just open a case?

Sorry, that wasn't completely directed at you, just the part about the hearsay being enough for Court. The burden would be in HIM to prove why he was in the hospital. Medical records can always be supboenad.

The rest was directed to PPs who were saying they didn't think it was necessary to get some sort of protective order.

BostonGayGal · February 2012

jobalchak:
tifanico:
jobalchak:
tifanico:
If she goes to court, what is she going to say? Peter told me that my ex was found with a belt around his neck. Will that be enough?
It should be enough. The man is in the hospital and whether it was attempted suicide, sex crap or attempted murder HE SHOULD NOT BE ALONE WITH A CHILD. Let's say it was a sexual thing, what if he was masterbating while his child was there? Posters that are saying this isn't a big deal needs to picture a child left alone because daddy is passed out from masterbating. I'm seeing a huge issue with this.
I am not saying is not a big deal because in my mind it is but will just hearsay be enough to just open a case?
Sorry, that wasn't completely directed at you, just the part about the hearsay being enough for Court. The burden would be in HIM to prove why he was in the hospital. Medical records can always be supboenad.
The rest was directed to PPs who were saying they didn't think it was necessary to get some sort of protective order.

Hearsay is most likely inadmissible and does NOT shift the burden of proof to the other party.

While I agree that the masturbation scenario is gross and scary, there is nothing to say that he would be doing that with the child in the home so I think it is a bit of a stretch to suggest that he will necessarily be putting the child at imminent risk of serious harm (though state standards vary). I'd love to see the hearing in which the guy had to explain the behavior to the judge though

FyreFlyeRush · March 2012

My biggest concern is suicide. How often do you read a parent killed their kids before commiting suicide?

Minipenguin · March 2012

FyreFlyeRush:
My biggest concern is suicide. How often do you read a parent killed their kids before commiting suicide?

He doesn't even have to intentionally kill the baby. If he kills himself and the kid is alone and unsupervised long enough, any number of things could happen. Depending on how long the kid is with him, he may go days without food. Not to mention the damage that could be done to a kid who stumbles on his father's dead body...

Definitely keep the baby away from him.

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OMG. DS's dad is in the ER.

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