Austin Babies
?? about adoption
No, I'm not interested in adoption. Just curious. Why does it seem like everyone wants to adopt internationally and not domestically? Is it cheaper or easier? If I were to adopt it would be domestically but just curious about the thinking behind it.
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Re: ?? about adoption
There are pros and cons to each. It is almost impossible to have a domestic closed (where the birthmother has zero contact/knows where the baby is, etc.) now and that is an issue for many people. When you adopt internationally there is pretty much zero chance of a birth mother every coming back/ever knowing where the baby is/the baby ever going to find them when they grow up. That is a big deal for some. Also, I think that when you look at the foster/orphanages in the U.S. and then you look at the foster/orphange situation in other countries it is hard for your heart not to cry out to those babies as well. The cost does not necessarily depend on domestic/international. For my DH and I we really don't care one way or the other and we are both cool with the open adoption. We had done some reasearch on Haitian babies lately and fell in love. It had nothing to do with that international was a better option for us just that we fell in love with the babies. Does that make sense?
ETA: The good majority of people who are adopting have gone through someform of infertility and loss so when these people approach adoption and hear all the horror stories about birth moms changing their minds or coming back after the baby is three or even coming back a day before her rights are revoked at a few days/months it is hard. After having lost so much already they want to instantly protect themselves as much as they can and in that case international adoption can sometimes appear to be the best way. But, with that said, there are also a lot of cons to international adoption as well. So no way is better or safer than the next it is just what each individual adoptive parent feels most comfortable putting their money and trust.
Married October 28, 2006, TTC since March 2009 IUI #1-8 w/ clomid = BFN
IVF # 1 May, 2011 = BFP!!! Stillbirth at 26 weeks (placental failure/severe IUGR)
FET #1 February, 2012-- BFP! Beta #1=84 Beta #2= 207 Beta #3= 3,526
Our Rainbow Baby is on the Way!
We looked seriously into adopting from China. At the time, DH was considering work in China as well, so there was the possibility that we'd be able to live there with our child.
At the time, we were more interested in international because it was considered pretty close to a guarantee of a child - you wait in line, you pay the fees, you submit the proper paperwork, and eventually, you're referred a child. At the time, China was referring a lot of babies for international adoption, and they were in relatively good health. As far as IA goes, China was pretty above-board and open with their adoption process. You didn't have to worry that you weren't rich enough or pretty enough or interesting enough to appeal to a birthmother or that the birthmother would change her mind and decide not to place the baby for adoption.
The other reason, frankly, that IA appealed to a lot of families is that studies have consistently shown that about 80% of adopting parents prefer to adopt a girl. Most domestic agencies, dealing with far more would-be parents than birthparents, do not allow families to specify gender because they're dealing mostly with unborn babies. IA deal with babies and children in orphanages, so most IA programs/agencies allow families to specify gender... and since most babies abandoned in China were girls, families flocked to adopt there.
Since the US ratified the Hague treaty on international adoption, a lot has changed in the world of IA. The US no longer allows adoption from countries like Guatemala and Vietnam were corruption was rumored to run rampant. Under the terms of Hague, party country (like China) agree that they will try to place children within their own country before making them available for IA, and this is one reason that IA has crawled to a near halt from China.
The China slowdown started before we were eligible to adopt from China (both parents must be over 30), and we knew it would never be an option for us. The people who just got referrals of babies from China this month have literally been waiting since Meredith was a tiny baby - more than five years. We know so many people who had hoped to adopt from China who moved on to other options: fertility treatment, domestic adoption, IA from other countries, adopting a child with major special needs from China instead of waiting for a healthy infant.
So the attitude of "IA is better" may still be around, but it's definitely changing as IA changes. If you're adopting and your choice is wait years for a baby you might not get because the IA program shuts down and wait years and hope for a birthmother to choose you, suddenly domestic adoption doesn't sound so uncertain anymore. KWIM?
Meredith, 6-1-06 and Alex, 11-5-09