Our court date is coming up
Amanda88
member
Come late March, my husband and I have our court date with BM. She has not seen SS in a little over ten months.We are already having issues with her lying about us not allowing her to see him. She has pulled 5 random dates out of her head and had her legal aid attorney report them to the court. One of which she actually had possession of SS, and a handful of dates where she was living out of town and had no way to come get him. Our attorney has issued a response denying the dates she provided.
She texted us and told us she filed a police report because we didn't surrender him this last weekend that was hers, but she never showed up. I waited and waited and no one ever knocked. I will admit the weekend prior to last that was hers I waited for an hour and a half, and then had things to do so we all left. Apparently she showed up at 8pm (two hours late) and then left when no one answered the door.
Apparently, now she has decided to amend her response to our petition. She wants full custody, for us to pay her child support, and for us to have limited visitation. She is preg with kid number 3 and living in gov't housing with her "abusive" husband. They air their dirty laundry over facebook quite often. My SS tells me often that he has never had a bed and always sleeps on the couch or on the floor. She has never been able to provide a stable environment. Just yeasterday, she posted to facebook how her husband was out trying to sleep around with other girls and that he was telling girls they are divorced.
We are afraid she will lie her way into getting what she wants. We have made such big strides with SS since my husband I got together. I potty trained him while going to culinary school in another town. I have been actively getting him ready for preschool and he has learned SO MUCH. I have had him on the wait list for preschool for almost a year now. Registration is in April and the school said he was almost 100% guaranteed to get in.
A judge wouldn't give her to him with all that he has established here right? We have a stable home and have never moved. She has moved over 20 times in the past year and has no stability. We are worried. She is a spiteful person and will do anything to hurt my husband. Thoughts and prayers are greatly appreciated as we near our court date... so is advice.
Re: Our court date is coming up
Take a deep breath, and let your lawyer handle this. This is why s/he gets the big bucks!!! If BM didn't contact you when she was late, you are not obligated to wait 2 hours for her. She will end up looking like a jerk for lying to the court.
Start screensaving anything on FB that may help you - - fights, her BF sleeping with another woman, anything about abuse (even if she is just being a drama llama). Let your lawyer know that SS sleeps on the floor when visiting and doesn't have his own bed.
Hang in there!!!
T&P coming your way.
My advice, keep doing what you're doing as far as documenting. Write down everything. When you go to court I would ask to have something entered into the CO that states if she is more than 15 minutes late you aren't obligated to wait for her/she forfeits her time. Then when it happens send a text/e-mail or call her and say "I'm sorry, you're too late", so you have documentation that you waited the appropriate amount of time. Don't let her trap you in your house. That's crazy. Screen shot her FB whenever she puts something ridiculous up.
Sounds like SS is doing great. Keep up the hard, but great work. And try to enjoy your life as much as you can. I know it's hard when you have all this drama hanging over your head.
some people say that courts "hate seperating kids from their moms" but thats not true, a judge/ court is going to look out for what is BEST for the child. since SS is making such great strides wth you guys I highly doubt a judge will give BM full custody. in order for SS to have overnight visitation with BM she needs to have a bed for him. even if its in the kichen, he needs a bed.
just make sure you document document document. and let your attorney do his job
This this this! When we first sat down with a lawyer 3 years ago to talk about custody modification he actually told us "if there is no physical abuse, you will have trouble getting a custody modification". Well DH now has custody and is the custodial parent. The judge/court is definitely going to look for what is of the best interest of the child.
Keep doing what you're doing and I agree with PP's...document EVERYTHING. DH has a huuuuge binder where he printed out every email, text, report card and he journaled phone calls and visitation issues.
Ditto everything about documentation. I JUST got home from court an hour ago where xh straight up lied in his reply to my petition about me denying visitation several times. Guess what? I was able to flat out prove him wrong with my phone records, a receipt from a hotel stay where he claimed he came and I denied him visitation (pretty hard to do when you are not even in town). and the judge just looked at him for what he is. A liar.
Keep everything! Write everything down, take screenshots, get phone records, save texts. You never know what crazy stories these people will come up with so you just have to be prepared to prove them wrong in any case. Always play by the rules, follow the CO, and things will work out.
FWIW, this is my THIRD time taking xh to court and finally a judge saw through his act. Keep your head up and know that you are doing what's good and right.
We have primary custody of SS as is and have asked for a modification to visitation and for child support. We are asking for agreed visitation, so that SS doesn't have to spend the night without the basic necessities. They fight like cats and dogs and it gives SS night terrors. That way my DH can allow visitation when and where. Safety is our biggest concern when she is with him because it has been an issue in the past and it is very difficult to prove she puts him in harms way. It breaks my heart when SS tells me what has happened before and how it scares him or makes him sad. We have a HUGE binder full of documented information. We switched to this lawyer because she is supposed to be cut throat and DH's previous lawyer wouldn't fight for SS.
Thanks you so much for everything. She wants to come this weekend to get him for the first time in months... assuming she shows up. Is there anyone I can call to go and make sure she has a bed for him and the necessities?