Upstate NY Babies

FB vent (looong)

Many of you girls know that I was really hesitant to join FB, but finally did last year right before Liana was born.  But I am starting to get more and more annoyed with all the BS on FB and almost feel like I just want to get rid of it.  

Maybe it is just the people that are on my friends list (no one that I know from this board), but I just feel like my newsfeed is just full of gossip, drama, and oversharing of info.  I go on to try to see pics of all the cute kiddos, I don't want to hear detailed accounts of peoples visits to the gyno, about their money problems, or sex lives, or relationship dramas and exes who don't pay child support.  It seriously is ridiculous. 

Well, the last straw for me was this week when a "friend" posted a picture of a 12-week old fetus with the caption "12 weeks gestation -- legal to kill?" and started an abortion debate.  In the comments that followed (in which adoption was brought up) another "friend" (who has adopted an older child from India) posted this gem

"And those people who spend thousands to get pregnant or wanting a perfect white baby?  I think that's a sin.  Think of all the people those fertility treatments could feed, think of the millions of non white babies or older children that need homes.  Makes me sick." 

And the conversation went on and on, blah blah blah.  I was so upset and offended both by the picture and the comments, but did not comment because I felt like FB comments for everyone to see wasn't really the place I wanted to talk about my personal feelings about the matter.   I did end up messaging both of them to say how offensive I thought the whole thing was just because I kept thinking about it and it was bothering me.  I let them both know that as a woman who has struggled to get pregnant/maintain a healthy pregnancy I thought the whole thing was incredibly insensitive and offensive and that FB is not the place for that.  Both of them tried to back track and rationalize (Oh, I didn't mean for that pic to be upsetting to someone who has had a m/c....I didn't mean it was literally a sin to have fertility treatments).  But neither of them ever even apologized.  Ugh, I am so disgusted by the whole thing.

So, in the end I have decided that I am going to take a break from FB - not necessarily permanently, but I definitely need to take a step back.  I just feel like it brings more bad than good to my life.  In addition to all the drama and BS, it is just a huge time waster for me.  I am addicted to checking it on my phone and it's really a bit ridiculous.  I don't want looking at FB on my phone all the time rather than pay attention to my kids and I don't want to be sitting on the couch with DH at night after they are in bed checking FB a million times rather than actually having a conversation with him.   I think it will be good thing, I just need to take the plunge and delete the app from my phone so that the temptation isn't there anymore!

Wow, sorry so long.  Thanks for reading if you made it this far!  Embarrassed.  I really just wanted to vent and it felt good to write my feelings out.  I am glad I still have this board to keep in touch with you ladies, even if I don't have time to post much.  And Bflo girls if you plan any GTGs thru FB, someone make sure to post it here or to text me!  :)

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Re: FB vent (looong)

  • I have a lot of church people on my FB who feel the need to post abortion crap all the time.  I just hide the story or limit the types of posts I see from them.  Problem solved :)
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    Emily 8.8.08
    Madeline 1.2.11
    William 8.5.12
  • Blech. I hate when people purposely try to start political/moral debates on FB..

    I don't blame you for taking a break. I will text you with any info about GTGs. no worries. :)

    Melissa & Jeff 5-27-06
    m/c 1/2/08 and 3/12/08
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    Natalie Ruth - Born 6/13/11 7lb 6.6oz
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  • imageLittleApple:
    I have a lot of church people on my FB who feel the need to post abortion crap all the time.  I just hide the story or limit the types of posts I see from them.  Problem solved :)

    Hmmm, I had no idea that you could block/limit what you see from people without "unfriending" them.  And I don't even know how to delete people as my friends if I wanted to.  Obviously I am still a bit of a FB newbie even though I've been on there for a year now -haha.  Probably because I pretty much only use it from my phone so I'm sure all the features aren't available from the app.   I will have to keep this block feature in mind for the future and someone will have to tell me how to do it.   

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  • Yeah I think you are doing the right thing since it bugs you so much. ITA that FB is a huge time suck, as well as this board, pinterest and a couple other things that I go on. DH told me I was like a nerd with video games last week- because it'll be like 2am and I have no clue where the past 3 hours went. So I'm trying to phase a lot of it out.

  • 1. Good for you for taking a stand and messaging them about how offensive their posts were... I usually just ignore, or internally seethe (often when my aunt/cousin post something that gets me hot under the collar). Major props to you for that

    2. My sis is completely guilty of oversharing on FB, to the point where my dad is teling me to talk to her... AND my best friend, who is also my sis' friend also mentioned something to me... I think she should tone it down a bit, but I know saying something to her won't change anything. My sis is a drama llama and thrives on it I think....

  • imageskroops:

    Maybe it is just the people that are on my friends list (no one that I know from this board), but I just feel like my newsfeed is just full of gossip, drama, and oversharing of info.  I go on to try to see pics of all the cute kiddos, I don't want to hear detailed accounts of peoples visits to the gyno, about their money problems, or sex lives, or relationship dramas and exes who don't pay child support.  It seriously is ridiculous. 

    If you end up going back to fb, definitely block all those people.  I have and it is great.  But I agree that fb (and thebump - but never leave us!) is a huge time suck.

    I also think it was good you said something to them.  While I am sure that they didn't think about m/c, now hopefully they will next time.  And with the # of people that is probably on their friend list, I am sure you were not the only person offended, and hopefully it will save someone else from being hurt next time too.

  • Thanks for th input and advice ladies. I know that I definitely won't be off FB forever, and it's good to know there is a way to block seeing things from certain people. I assume they wouldn't know they are blocked, right?

    And, I am going to be posting something later tonight on FB about taking a "hiatus". I'm not trying to make a dramatic exit and don't plan on explaining my reasons "publicly", but there are some family members that use only FB as their main communication to plan family GTGs, etc. So I know thy would be pissed if I didnt let them know I would be "gone" and they thought I was ignoring them.

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  • That is too bad.  I have to say that my "friends" are pretty drama free, and I am grateful for that.  I would just unfriend people if this stuff happened.  
    imageimage PHOTO Credit: Meryl :)Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • my fb newsfeed too has been pretty much drama free. the little bit of gossipy drama i have witnessed i posted about on here not too long ago and i did decide to defriend the wife that was posting obvious digs about her husband.

    that said DH went on a tirade the other day about deleting his FB account b/c 'i don't want everyone knowing all my business' to which i responded 'no one forces you to post anything' and he never post anything anyway 'and if stupid people post stuff that is their own fault, you a. don't have to read it or b. ignore or defriend them.' 

    you shouldn't feel you have to not be on fb in order to not get sucked into their drama. you should use fb- if you want to- for the things you enjoy, keep up with your drama -free good friends and all the kids you enjoy watching grow up. :)

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