How often do you go there? (sad)

blessedhope · February 2012

Today I told my husband, "I want to go to the cemetery." We were getting ready ready to go and I changed my mind and didn't want to. At first I went every week, 3 or more times a week. for my husband he says he feels close to our baby there. For me, my emotions about it are changing and I have not been in a over a month. Sometimes I feel like I need to go and other times I can not do it. What about you? What does it mean for you to go to your babys resting place?

pottermommy · February 2012

I always think of these great things to do for her there, and I want so bad to visit her, but everytime I leave I feel like I am walking away from her all over again. So I don't go often anymore.

At first I went every week, then every month. Now I haven't been in a couple months, I couldn't bare to go on her birthday. I feel horrible for it. But in the aspect I firmly believe that she knows when I am thinking about her and she knows I love her desperately.

Here on Earth I need to worry about bringing myself through this sorrow and grief and if that means not going then that is what I need to do.

StephK86 · February 2012

Like pottermommy said, I always make these plans to decorate for each holiday or bring more flowers but find myself unable to do it as much as I would like. We do decorate his grave when we go though. I went a lot in the beginning and go more in warmer months. I feel awful to say I have not visited my son in a few months.

When I am there all I picture is him dying all over again, him being buried, the funeral, everything that is bad. I am trying so desperately to remember the good times I had with Gavin. When I go to his grave it's like taking ten steps back. I find I am most able to talk to him while sitting outside, staring at the star that I like to think is him. I talk to him every night during my prayers also. I still feel guilty about not visiting enough. Either way I can't win.

Auki13 · February 2012

I am the same. I started by going there quite a bit and have been going less and less. Not because I am forgetting or because it doesn't hurt just as much, but because each time it opens up the wound of having to leave her there in the first place. I mentally plan on going several times a week actually, but usually find reason not to. The only times I make myself go are when my kids ask to go visit Annabelle. I can't deny them. I still go every other week or so (unless my kids ask to go earlier), but it's so difficult.

fluttergirlmoonchild79 · February 2012

When he first passed I vowed to go all the time. I did actually go quite a bit at first, but it was more because we were forever wondering when the inscription was going to be completed. They called while we were on vacation and told us it was done. We went that following weekend to see it. I never thought it was going to be as difficult as it was but seeing the inscription was very difficult for me. I haven't been back since. I'm a bit ashamed of myself for that but I remind myself that it's ok. He's always with me even if I don't go to where his body is. I always make a point to go before we leave town and I always feel terrible as we leave town because I always feel we're leaving him. We buried him in an area where if we ever were to move it would probably be close to and it's close to where we live now. My DH had someone contact him about a job in GA (we live in Indiana) and I freaked out and told him that we will forever live in this area because I couldn't bear not being able to see him when I want. It's ok not to go. Our angels understand more than we give them credit for sometimes. Be gentle on yourself. {{HUGS}}

Gizu92708 · February 2012

I actually posted about this a couple of weeks ago. I had this guilt that would haunt me all the time. I haven't been to the cemetery since his burial. Im not ready to go . It's like living that day all over again. Seeing his little casket go down, seeing his lifeless little body before they closed it. Its too much for me right now. I know now though that Enzo is with me all the time. And he knows it breaks my heart to go to the cemetery. That being said, please be gentle with yourself. It's ok if you can't go sometimes. ((hugs))

johnnys june · February 2012

Short answer: When I can.

Longer answer: I try to go just before or on major holidays, and then whenever I can in between. I like to do nice thing for his grave -- a heart to hang for Valentines day, new flowers (fake, they lost longer) appropriate to the season, an easter basket for spring/easter, ect. It's hard to get up there 1. because it's nearly 25 minutes away. and 2. because I'm always conflicted...I too feel better when I'm there...like I took the time for Logan, but I always HATE leaving.

Like some of the other women, I truly believe that Logan is with me. I also believe (and hope) that he has a "job" in the angel world, something special he was specifically designed for. I think he watches over us. His grave is just a place for me to "mother" him since I don't really get many other choices, if that makes sense.

frogs007 · February 2012

In the beginning I went almost every day, but I couldn't handle that for long. Now I try to go once a week, but I think I'm going to start going monthly. Honestly I go because I feel like I should, but it's hard and I kind of hate it. I hate leaving their mortal bodies there. . . I hate going when I'm having a good day because it makes me sad. I hate going on a bad day because it just makes it worse. Sometimes I feel close to them there but not often. Do what is best for you.

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