Adoption

What to bring to my adopted Granddaughter.

I hope that makes sense. We are getting a chance to meet our "bonus" granddaughter. She was placed with her forever family just days after birth. It is a very open adoption but due to distance we have not had a chance to meet her or her family.

 I am excited that I get to meet her next month and want to bring her something (it is going to be overwhelming to see so many of us at once, my husband, 3 small children, and my daughter her birth mom who she has already met will be there) I want to bring her something but I know stuffed animals are a pain in the rear, I don't know what books she has and I honestly don't want to cross any boundaries with a gift that is too much. I would love some ideas!

 

If I have worded anything wrong I am sorry, I try so hard to word things right for my daughter and even 2 1/2 years later word things wrong. 

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[color=#FF0000]Mom to 5 girls 23,22,18,9,7 and one sweet Wonderboy almost 4[/color]
The Chaos of Six!

Re: What to bring to my adopted Granddaughter.

  • First off, your picture in your signature is HILARIOUS!!! :)

    For gifts, a few thoughts come to mind... I wouldn't go extravagent for an in-person meeting (such as keepsake jewelry)... I'd try to target something that she'd enjoy playing with right then and there.  I think you could send a more thoughtful gift via mail for her mom to keep until she can appreciate it... I know as an adoptive mom I would love it.  (DD2s birth grandmother sent a beautiful framed poem about adoption.  It sort of solidified to me as the mama that "she got it".)   Another long term gift could be a piece of jewelry that has an adoption type theme such as a pendant that has a quote on it.

     But back to this meeting... do you have a Build A Bear near by?  You and your children could go through the process if building it for her.  It would be a nice memory for all of you. 

    Otherwise, I'd probably bring coloring books and new crayons or something along those lines.  For the inperson gift, I'd want something that would help her warm up and be comfortable. 

    Also, if she has siblings, remember them too... I'd be bothered if all the attention was shown to one child.  As a mom, you get that though :)

    PS-  Consider sticking around.  Your voice as an birth grandmother would be interesting :)  I would love to hear how you accepted your daughter's choice... if you encouraged her or had reservations, etc. 

    image Best friends and sisters... 24 months and 16 months
  • I love the idea of the build a bear, I just get twitchy when people bring my kids stuffed animals and didnt want to do that to her Mom lol! She has no young siblings only an older sister who is in college.

     

    I send her an ornament for her Christmas tree every year for Christmas and something fun for her birthday. Her parents are amazing. I've tried really hard to not overstep my boundaries because I don't want them to feel like I am pushy. I should add that it is totally me. We have been invited to her birthday parties etc but because living so far away it just wasnt an option. Now we will be in the same state but about 5 hours away.

     

    I have to say I am ridiculously excited to meet her and her parents. I hope we don't scare her :)

    image


    [color=#FF0000]Mom to 5 girls 23,22,18,9,7 and one sweet Wonderboy almost 4[/color]
    The Chaos of Six!
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  • Hi - welcome to the board.  I would love if you continue to post on the board, too, like silliestbunny said.  We have a very open adoption with our daughter's birthmom and her family (birthmom's mom/stepdad and 2 brothers.) 

    I can tell you what gifts dd has received from her birthfamily...a baby blanket and pajamas (that was given to us at the hospital by her birthgrandma), a bigger Hello Kitty blanket (which DD uses every night on her bed), a couple Easter-related stuff animals that DD loves, a top, a couple books, and a shadow box with DD's name inside it.  (DD's birthmom and her birthgrandma made it -- it's beautiful.  They used scrapbooking paper and stickers and it's hanging on the wall in her bedroom right now.)

    I love the Build a Bear idea that Silliest bunny mentioned.  I think something that you (or your kids) could play with with her while you are there would be nice, too -- a coloring book, a little set of playdough, etc. 

    I think a keepsake gift is also really nice - something like what dd's birthmom made, a piece of jewelry, or even one of those books from Hallmark where you record a story.  Anything like that.

     I hope you have a wonderful visit with them!  Will you come back here and share how it went with us?

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  • imagefredalina:
    A photo album of her birthmom when she was little as well as the rest of the family, including you as a kid if possible, some funny stories of her BM at different ages. I know it's not a toy but she'd probably love it. And just tell her parents how much they mean to you and what a great job they're doing as her mom and dad.

    That's a GREAT idea -- a photo album of pics when her birthmom was little and pics of the whole family.  DD's birthmom's family lost a lot of their pictures when they moved, so we don't have too many...  And telling them how you feel, too - that's so nice to hear.

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  • imagefredalina:
    A photo album of her birthmom when she was little as well as the rest of the family, including you as a kid if possible, some funny stories of her BM at different ages. I know it's not a toy but she'd probably love it. And just tell her parents how much they mean to you and what a great job they're doing as her mom and dad.

    Oh!  This I would love!  I think having family pictures would be such a great gift!  Of course, she may not appreciate it right now, but she will as she gets older and she understands them more :)  I only have a couple pictures we took at the hospital of Malachi's birthparents.

    TTC since May 2006. After 3 failed Clomid cycles, 2 failed Injectibles/IUIs, 2 failed IVFs and 1 failed FET, we moved on to adoption! 

    image


    Last ditch FET resulted in BFP, and identical twin girls!

    image   
  • We've done the picture thing before she was born :) I also did a detailed family health history thinking it might be nice to have (we don't have one for my husband and it has been horrible!)

    I am so grateful I get to experience her life and that my daughter was so amazingly selfless and knew what was best. I am in awe of all of them in the situation and feel so blessed to know them all :D

    image


    [color=#FF0000]Mom to 5 girls 23,22,18,9,7 and one sweet Wonderboy almost 4[/color]
    The Chaos of Six!
  • You could bring a gift card or prepay for getting photos done.  If you want to stick to a budget places like Sears has very good prices and the pictures always turn out great.  I am sure they will send you some of the pictures and they get to keep some win/win! :)

     

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