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May 2012 Moms
fyziksgirl
member
Anyone else resent the Facebook group?
fyziksgirl
member
It's gotten so slow on here, it makes me sad! I don't want to join a Facebook group, I wanted to join a message board, and it makes me a little resentful that that is where all the action seems to be happening 
Come back and play here, too, everyone!
Come back and play here, too, everyone!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Anyone else resent the Facebook group?
~Fitness Blog~
This! I'm a member, too, but for a couple reasons I can't keep up, including the fact that I can't access FB at work (and I check this at lunch).
Agreed! Sounds like there are at least some of us who are still here!
I'm staying here. I know that my FB friends won't be able to see what I post there, and the May people won't see what I post elsewhere (but for whoever the moderator is) but like many of you I have no desire to share my full name with a bunch of people I don't know.
I also imagine it's pretty crazy without the division into threads. Here I can pick and choose what I want to read. There would be too hard to keep up with, especially already being a member of another very active secret FB group.
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Second, unless you have a random screen name and an email account no one knows about, if you google either of those things, your Bump account will show up. This means if anyone (friends, coworkers, employers, family, etc) knows your screen name or email address, they can find anything you post here. Think about that next time you want to vent about someone. And even if you delete your Bump account, your posts still stay up unless you delete them all individually.
The facebook group may not be as private as far as who you're sharing with, but it's WAY more private to the rest of the world than The Bump is.
Just putting that out there.
Good point!
That would be me. no one but people on the nest/bump that I've met in person can associate my screen name with my real name, and the address I used to create my account is not one I've used for anything else. I'm also not stupid enough to share too much on any public forum!
We've had weird stalker-like issues on our LOCAL nest board (by other nest members) when people know a real name. I only know one May mom IRL because she's on my local board. A stranger could find out way more information than I'd care to share by searching my name!
All this doesn't mean I "resent" the facebook group. I just go where I'm comfortable!
We've formed real relationships with each other over there. Many have met up and the support (care packages etc) that has come from sharing personal information is surreal. Its an amazing group of ladies. We purge non posters, so we don't have to worry about creepy lurkers, and the few fakers that have made it in have been booted with a quickness.
Everytime an "I hate Facebook" post pops up, May moms is flooded with people wanting to join the group. So these posts don't do anything but make people want to join. I have 10 requests of people wanting to join right now and I'm sure there will be more. Which is wonderful in my opinion.
I guess if you just want to post random things then this place is perfect for you, but for people that want to give a little bit and make friendships then we have it in the bag over there.
To each her own.
I had wondered why this board got SOOOOO slow all of a sudden. People who posted topics often and commented often had fallen off. I am glad to hear it isnt because something bad happened. I dont think I have time to keep up so I am sure I would be booted if I joined so I will just stick it out here I suppose.
I do miss seeing everyones day to day excitement and woo's. Hope all is well!
If you are debating, join. You can always delete yourself if you don't like it. We had an "I hate fb" post here about a month ago, and the poster came over and now posts regularly.
I just hang out there more because half of the time TB is down or wont load on my phone/computer andplusalso....I have not had anything exciting happen with baby. I doubt anyone wants to read post after post of me saying "i feel a kick...the end"! I will have more to post as I get closer to my due date and have somethign exciting to share! I mostly lurk here now!
While the FB group moves fast, people complain that this board moves too slow -- what is it people really want? There's over 275 members in the FB group. If all of the group came back and posted here, I imagine it would be at the speed that FB is which is apparently unsatisfactory as well.
I had a BMB in 2007 and I felt largely ignored there. I made no lasting friendships and it never went beyond heated debates, flaming, or polite chatter. On the FB group, I've already seen a much different picture.
People post about their struggles and the girls step up. One person had a teen girl at her church pregnant and no one was offering to help her with a shower. A bunch of the women bought her things and sent them along.
One adoptive mommy is having an online shower thrown for her by the FB group.
A mommy in hospital bed rest is having a care package put together for her by the group.
We talk about intimate details of our life there. We are really in an environment that is less public and therefore can be more open about ourselves without fear of backlash or creepers.
This level of intimacy is so much higher than you'd feel safe with on a public forum.
The best part: our admin regularly checks every member in the group (through the group -- not on your personal page!) to make sure they're posting relatively recently or even at all and she sweeps members who never post.
We can trust that there aren't lurkers or fakes amongst us.
That said, I'll continue checking in here. I'll continue checking in there. I think it honestly comes down to each her own.
All of this.
I happen to be on my laptop this morning, which is a very rare occasion. I am at the FB group 95% of the time for 2 reasons. 1. When i google my name, info or the like, everything shows up on google when I post on thebump. I hate it and I can't have it. I like to have the freedom to vent and express myself and ask any darn question I like without worrying Gogglebot is going to grab me and hang me out to dry. No matter how annoymous I think my screen name here is, or how little things reveal about me, just posting my future childs name can come up on google and that alone gives people who google to much info about anything I say. 2. Because I'm on my phone most of the time and the bump takes roughly 3-4 minutes per page to load on my phone and it's frustrating.
The group is 100% absolutely private. There is ZERO way for ANY SINGLE PERSON on your regular facebook page to know you are in the group, what you post in the group, what you read in the group, or what you look at or comment on. I am an admin in the group, and I promise there only people who know you are there are the ones who are actually in it. It does move fast. You don't have to read every single thread. Matter of fact, there is a search feature. So if you are sitting here thinking, "I wonder what bottles people are going to use?", chances are you can search "bottles" and find lots of posts where people have already discussed it that you may have missed. OR, you can just create a new thread and we still jump in like it never happened.
like one of the PP said, we have so much going on, and we are all close. Since I'm adopting the people who were throwing my baby shower decided that we shouldn't have one at all because my birth mom MIGHT change her mind and keep the baby. I was heartbroken because of the negativity in my life and the lack of support I was experiencing. What happened? The May Mom FB group jumped in and are throwing me a virtual shower in a few weeks so that I am included as a mom just like everyone else is. That's just one of about 10 things this group has already done out of compassion and excitement... and love.
I'll stop rambling, I have 100 things to do. BUT, don't resent us. We welcome anyone who wants to join but we also completely understand those that dont. I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend.
Adopting my little one soon! EDD 5/08/12
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I feel like i miss out too much on the facebook board since I'm a 2nd time mom and have limited online hours.
Also, my concerns/posts go unanswered, so if I have something that I really want answered then I'll post it on here.
I'll stay on both boards and I wish this board was back to how it was. If the speed of facebook was on here at least I could still go back and read the posts for that day, unlike facebook.
I know I'm a main/regular poster on here and will remain to be. My only hope is that the ladies will come back to post their birth stories on here cuz when people go into labor and post on facebook then the post will fly by in a day and multiple people will be having babies on the same day.
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I don't want to join the FB group either. I actually get annoyed if it tells me I have 15 new messages or something. We just need to talk more and make this the happening place to be, haha.
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Just going to say this is probably related to the post below where people were asking about how to join.Or the one a little lower about blueberries. And seeing all those people wanting to join is what prompted me to write this one. So...it goes both ways?
Also, I'm not trying to stop people from going to FB, they can pick, but if it were just me I wish it had never been started. I used to love this board pre-FB group because there was so much to read and look through and I could always find someone going through what I was. Now I feel like most of the time there are so few posts in a day it's hard to feel motivated to check in. And when I post I feel like I am all-the-time because there aren't as many other people posting.
I'm glad you like Facebook. I just wish it hadn't been made in such a way it took away from this. If there were Facebook groups people could join and Bump groups people could join, great. There are other message board birth month groups that people join, and I don't resent those. People pick which ones they want to join. I just resent the Facebook group because it directly took away from this community to form that one. And I find that obnoxious.
Meh, more than anything I resent the implication (or statements) that those of us who didn't join the FB group don't understand FB privacy settings (or that the Bump is public apparently) and that if we didn't join the FB group, its bc we have no desire to make friends on this board and/or get to know people. I fully get the privacy settings and I would like to get to know people, but I'm still not going to join the FB groups.
Ive been on these boards too long and have seen things go wrong with FB connections, and with 275 people in the group or whatever someone said - yeah, no thanks.
I do wish the group hadnt taken away from the board like a pp said, but it is what it is and I don't resent the group itself. We will just be one of the quieter BMBs which is fine too.
No, its not directly related to the other post. There have been other "Facebook is lame" posts and the same thing has happened.
Seriously, get over yourself. If you don't like the fb group then don't join. Almost every birth month has a Facebook group. It just so happened this one took off. A lot of the May moms like it there better. Facebook didn't steal everyone from the board, so let it go.
I feel like the horse has been beat...enough already FFS.
Really? You're b!tching about this again??? people prefer the fb board because there isn't any flaming when someone posts something that someone else might not agree with. There's a nice level of civility over there. I don't know if it's because we know someone's real name, as opposed to an anonymous screenname that witches and cows hide behind, or what but it's just a million times nicer over there.
I personally got sick of seeing the same repetitive posts over and over again on the bump boards. "I have anemia" (big deal, I do too, take your pill and shut it), "What can I eat before my GT test?" (if your doctor didn't tell you a specific diet 1. be smart about it, or 2. read any of the other 500 posts about how we had to not eat after midnight per OUR dr's orders and do the same), "i failed my one hour" (so did 90% of the other people who posted here. I didn't have a 1 hour test-mine was 2- and even I know that the majority of people who failed their 1 hour passed their 3 hour), "how do Iavoid/ get rid of stretch marks?" (you CAN'T), "fb sucks", wah wah wah.
You DON'T need to join the fb page, especially if you won't enjoy it or don't like fb in general, but the FB page did NOT "take away from TB". If we all had migrated to babycenter.com or a proboard would you be so upset? Is it because it's not anonymous and you can't hide behind a psuedonym that you have a problem with it? The fact that people are kicked off of the fb page for being shady makes me a whole lot more comfortable, especially since any pedophile or freak with a pregnant woman fetish can come check out the pics and info over here and TB has little control over it.
Another drawback to TB is that you constantly have to refresh to see new posts or comments on threads. That's just a PITA to me. I am notified when someone comments on a post I started or commented on on FB and it is automatically refreshed so I don't have to go in and out and dart around.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE drop this. I get you're upset, but GET OVER IT. You made a decision not to join, quit b!tching about it! Pull up your big girl panties and move on. Is this really THAT big of a deal?
I FIND YOU OBNOXIOUS!!!
Really can't we just drop this already.... There is no need to pick sides...
You complain about TB being to slow and the FB group being to fast...
FFS JUST GET OVER IT!
I personally just got really sick of 16 and pregnant girls turning out to be 34 yr old mothers of two who had nothing to contribute but drama so unreal it could be an MTV show. When women over there have an issue, there is an OUTPOURING of emotional support that feels very real. I think many agree with me that responses here just aren't as easy, and people are less likely to respond if "we'll be thinking of you" has already been said, wheras over there, I might get 150 of them. It feels different.
I had fun here. and I like that it will be around as a safety net, but I don't have the patience for the monotony of post topics, especially disingenuine ones. There are faces from here I definitely miss, though.
Thanks for showcasing the civility all you FBers evidently have.
Also, why are you bitching at me to drop it? I've not commented on it before. I did now. It's nice to hear I'm not alone, and since I brought it up the number of posts has upped again.
Further, don't tell me to not be upset and just not join if I don't like things about FB, and then go on and on about things you don't like about TB. If you don't like it, don't hang out here. You get over it, too.
My OP was not derogatory or mean. I didn't say anything about anyone who joined. I didn't attack anyone for their choice. I didn't say the FB group was too fast, just that I didn't want to be a part of it, and that I do feel some resentment about how there was a direct link between the FB group starting and this board slowing WAY down. I think that's a fair statement to make, and, for the most part, no one who agrees with me has been virulent. We just all are a little sad, and it's OK to express that to each other. No need to come back screaming at me.