Many questions- being a stupid FTM long and probably annoying.....

Re: Many questions- being a stupid FTM long and probably annoying.....

• Mrs. Braxton

  February 2012

  I don't post on this board but I've been lurking for a little while. My 2nd DD was born 11/4. And while I can't tell you what you should do for your LO I can tell you what I did for my older DD (now almost 2). Kids are all different so what works for someone may not work for everyone. I am a more laid back person by nature so I was never really pushy with the whole schedule thing until DD started to fall into her own natural schedule. I noticed what seemed to be working for her already (as far as nap times and bed time) and just decided we'd stick with it. The only change was that I began to enforce it. Even when you find your schedule it will change again at some point. Soon enough it will stop working and you have to be flexible enough to change it as needed (i.e. move nap times around, etc). My DD has now been on the same schedule since she was 15 months but up until that point there were several different times that minor changes were made. When she was an infant she prefered to nap in her swing. If she fell asleep in the swing I let her stay there. If she fell asleep in my arms I put her in her crib. But I didn't really start putting her down for naps, at a specific time everyday, in her crib until she was about 5 months old. We've never had any sleep issues. She's always gotten the recommended amount of sleep for her age and never fought nap time or bed time so it's worked for us. Also, she had her paci until she turned 1. Taking that away was no big deal either. I guess, in my opinion the best advice is just to go with the flow and be confident in yourself as a mother and your ability to do what's best for your child. Enjoy whatever is working out for you guys right now. Things will change, adjustments will be made and what works today may not tomorrow.

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• lemonJAM member

  February 2012

  RNP-We use the RNP too, and I think we're going to transition pretty soon.  We didn't have it with DD, so I'm not sure what the "right" time for it is yet.  I think it would be hard to break the swaddle and move from the RNP at the same time.  If you like swaddling, you can check out the Miracle Blanket or Woombie.  They're hard for bigger babies to break out of.  We have a Miracle Blanket and we love it.

  Paci-I wouldn't worry about this one too much yet.  DD switched on her own from paci to sucking on fingers between 3 and 4 months.  She weaned herself off of her fingers at about 2 years.  We never made a big deal about it and she just ended it herself when she didn't need it anymore.  Even if you do want to help LO stop using paci some day, I would wait a while.

   Sleep-Babies sleep on their own schedules.  DD went to bed at 5:30 for several months.  She just needed an early bed time.  Evenings were miserable for us all when she went to bed late.  If your LO needs to go to bed at 7, that's what he needs to do.  Don't worry about other people being grumpy.  It won't last forever and they'll get over it.  Do what's best for you and LO.

   Naps-I would start putting LO in the crib for naps when you're ready to tranisition from RNP to crib.  Start with naps only and see how it goes.  You can do that whenever you're ready.  I think it's ok to let LO nap in the swing sometimes too.  We let DD nap in there until she was about 4 months and she transitioned fine to her crib. 

   Basically, go with your gut and do what feels right for you and LO.

   Unsolicited advice:  check out tinypic.com to help make your photos smaller on your profile.  When you upload it, choose to resize to thumbnail or website/email.

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• RedCamaro member

  February 2012

  I'm answering your questions from my own experience and the info I've gathered from a great book called Baby 411 by:  Denise Fields, and Ari Brown. Even this being my second child, I picked up the newest version to read to prepare myself to go through it all again. You won't be disappointed. My answers are in bold after your questions.

  mbgrobmyer:

  Ok so I was sitting around wondering about all of my questions tonight and it started to make me get a slight panic attack...... So if anyone feels like answering I would appreciate it   Even just to know others are out there like me!

   RNP- When should I transition to the crib?  LO is 14 lbs and I know the weight limit is 25.  I also know that transition  is going to be hard... what can I do to make it easier?  If I need him swaddled I should do it soon because he breaks out of his swaddles now and can almost turn himself over which I know is a no-no for swaddles. 

  The sooner the better. As baby grows, his eye sight gets sharper and he will be used to his environment. The longer you wait, the harder it is; but don't worry, the transition harder on you than it is on LO. What I did was incorporate music into the nighttime routine in a very dark room. When I moved LO into his room, I kept the same music and darkness. I also put LO in the crib during the day for all naps so he would get used to seeing the room when he woke up. When you feel comfy enough to make the change, do it and don't fall back. Back peddling will only make things worse.

  Paci- When to start phasing out usage?  My LO very very much comfort sucks.... I hate to have the 2 year old running around with a paci but I don't want to make him totally miserable either because he can't keep his hands in his mouth consistently yet to soothe himself.  Since he is a reflux baby, he is very fussy and sometimes the paci is all that calms him.  I wish I could just use it at night but he needs it a lot during the day too.

  It's ok to keep the paci for while. My DD was bottle fed and I knew that weaning her off the bottle would be harder (for me) if I didn't have the paci to fall back on. I weaned her off the bottle at a year and the paci a couple of months later. In all honestly (you'll find this info in the book), they don't need to suck to soothe themselves after 4-5 months of age. However, if it keeps their hands out of their mouths, keep it. Prolonged finger sucking can permanently re-shape their mouth and the position of their teeth.

  Sleep- DH wants to move LO's bedtime back by an hour.  He wants LO to sleep till 7 to be hungry and wake up.  Can I even feasibly shift his time?  when I kept him up until 9 the last few times he was a screaming banshee and it took forever to get him down let alone eat.  That was why I started putting him to bed at 8.  My IL and parents make me seem like some sort of a nut for leaving places early and refusing to stay out because he needs to be in bed at 8.  I just don't want to mess with his STTN while i have it and I don't want to have an overtired screaming baby on my hands.

  Again, you'll find wonderful guidance on this subject in the book. The earlier you put LO to bed, the longer they sleep. If you really want to change the bed time, then you need to shift the times around for LO's naps. No schedule is worth an over-tired baby! Tell the grandparents that if they want to deal with the screaming banshee, you'll be happy to go out to a movie while they try to be as good as "mommy". Mine is a nightmare if he's not doing his routine in his environment by 8pm. STTN is solid gold that you don't want to loose!

  Reflux mamas- those who elevated cribs, did it work?  Did you buy those wedges to help things?  My DS likes to turn his nose into the side of the RNP to feel the fabric near his face.... when I put him in his crib for a nap he was trying to roll himself to the breathable bumper we put on there from his aunt (just for the pictures ) and I hate to take it off but GOD am I scared of him suffocating.  Of course his one soothing thing would be somehting that could potentially kill him...

  A breathable bumper should be ok for him. But if you aren't comfy with it, do what makes you comfy. I'm overly paranoid, but I think it's for a good reason. I don't have experience with reflux, but I do have a wedge that mine sleeps on. It does double duty in keeping LO from rolling side to side as well. My DD used it too. It came in handy when my DD had a stuffy nose. The doctor said "it might be hard to keep her head elevated, but it will help her when she sleeps if you can do it." I was laughing in my head. I never had to worry about elevating the whole bed. Of course they do outgrow the wedge.

   Naps- when did you start forcing the crib nap?  How long is it feasible to have my LO nap in his swing??????

  Long ago. Mine has been in his crib since he was 5 weeks old. Since he's my last, when he gets really fussy and clingy, I'll still hold him for a nap. But he cat naps anyway, so 30 minutes is nothing. The longer your LO keeps naping in his swing, the more he'll come to expect it. I would reserve that for only when you're having a difficult time getting him to sleep on his own and you have done everything else. Remember, one day he'll be too big for that swing. Sleep crutches are ok for a little while, but you want to set up good sleep habbits now, as it will only be harder when LO is older.

  Thank you in advance for any help you throw my way....... just having a panic attack of sorts realizing once again all of the stuff I do not know......

  No worries. That's why we're all on here. I'm even learning new things from some of the ladies on here.

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• SuzJune04 member

  February 2012

  Here is my 2cents, hope it helps :-)

  1. I'd transition to a crib as soon as possible.  Does your LO sleep well in his carseat?  Could you try putting him in that and put that in your crib (might need to lower the crib)?  That way your LO knows that sleep is supposed to happen in the crib.  Some nights my DD stays in her crib flat all night and other times when she really won't settle I'll resign to putting her in her swing.  I try to only do it when I'm at my wits end and hope to phase it out for night time.  I let my DS#1 nap in his swing until 4-5mo old because he just really seemed to need that position more during the day with naps (he was fine in the crib flat at night).  I think his weight started reaching the limit of the swing around that age.  Also, in the crib I put the swaddle around my LO with their arms both out.  I figure it still feels like a comforting hug but is safer and she can suck on her fingers.

  2.  I don't have a problem with pacifiers.  I think babies need to suck on something for self-soothing.  I'd rather my LO's use their fingers to self-sooth (so I don't have to pop the pacifier in 4x a night but oh well).  My sister who is a mom of 4 kids prefers pacifiers because she was afraid of getting a thumb sucker.  In her opinion, you can take a pacifier away but you can't take a thumb as easily.

  3. I believe that "Sleep begets Sleep".  The more your LO sleeps the better they sleep.  I just looked back through my calendar notes from DS#1 (5yrs ago) and I was putting him to bed at 6pm at 3-4mo old...he was exhausted so why torture him by keeping him up.  Sometimes my DH didn't even make it home from work in time to see him before bedtime but DH would give a dreamfeed EBM bottle at 10pm. 

  My DS also slept 4hr naps in the am and a 3hr nap in the afternoon.  It's hard for me to believe because my DD#2 is NOT like this.  Oh well, each child is different.  I think you should pay attention to your LO's cues and figure out a routine that works for you.  Trust your mommy instincts :-)

  4. My cousin's DD had really bad reflux so I feel for you, but have no advice.  Good luck!

  I just wanted to say that I had a LOT of anxiety with my first child.  It's normal but don't make yourself crazy.  I realized how resilient kids are now and am not as worried this time around.  Things will through off Sttn like daylight savings, travel, teething, etc.  You'll have good nights and bad nights, just know that you are trying to encourage healthy sleep habits for your child...everything will be just fine.

  
  
  
  

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• smilelari member

  February 2012

  RNP - Don't use one, but LO is in a bassinet in our room.  We'll probably transition sometime between 4 and 6 months.  I'm all for gradual change so we've already started getting her used to the crib by having at least 1 nap a day in there on the weekends and putting her in there when she's awake as well.  When we do move her in there, we'll probably have her in there for the first part of the night and then move her to our bed if she wakes.  Another way to ease the transition would be to gradually move the RNP away from you so he gets used to some distance and then eventually move the RNP to her room and once she's used to the room put her in the crib

  Paci - We weaned DS from the paci at about 18 months.  There was very little drama.  We took it away for awake time first and let him have it for naps (and the car ride home).  We adjusted the sleep routine a bit to rely more on other kinds of soothing, like the sea horse.  One day he just didn't need it any more.

  Sleep - I find that there is only so much you can do to move wake up time.  No matter what time you put baby to bed, they tend to wake up at the same time, so all pushing the time later does is give you a fussy baby, both at night and during the day because they aren't sleeping well.  Overtired babies don't sleep well at night and don't nap well and you get a snowballing issue.  If baby is ready for sleep at 8, put him to bed at 8.  Eventually that time will probably get even earlier and settle into a time sometime between 6 and 8.

  Reflux - I got nothing

  Naps - We're starting to do this now.  The first nap to emerge as a real nap at a fairly regular time is the morning nap, so we're putting her down at a pretty consistent time (8:30) and putting her in the crib.  Other nap(s) is still not very regular and take place while held.  We'll start putting her in the crib when she seems ready
  

  
  
  ~Working Mom~Breastfeeding Mom~Cloth Diapering Mom~BLW Mom~
  
  Blog - No Longer on the DL ~ The Man Cave
  Shawn and Larissa
  LO #1 - Took 2 years and 2 IVFs ~ DX - severe MFI mild PCOS homozygous MTHFR (a1298c)
  LO #2 - TTC 7 months, surprise spontaneous BFP!
  

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• honeybee #1

  February 2012

  I'm just going to weigh in on the stuff I know.

  RNP-I suggest getting him used to sleeping in his crib as soon as possible. I think that some time just laying awake in the crib makes it easier to sleep there.

  Paci-It's said that a paci until 6 months helps prevent SIDS. I wouldn'tworry about it until after that.

  Sleep-A baby will sleep whenever they want. And as previous poster said, sleep begets sleep.

  Naps. I go for the 'get them used to sleeping everywhere' approach. Otherwise, god forbid you have something to do outside of the house at naptime.

  And don't worry, we're all clueless about some things.

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• Temp937723687505543 member

  February 2012

  mbgrobmyer:

  Paci- When to start phasing out usage?  I cut DD's paci down to naps and bedtime only when she was 12  months, then took it away cold turkey at 15 months.  I plan on giving DS his paci whenever he wants it for now and weaning around 12 months
  

  Sleep- DH wants to move LO's bedtime back by an hour.  He wants LO to sleep till 7 to be hungry and wake up.  Can I even feasibly shift his time?  when I kept him up until 9 the last few times he was a screaming banshee and it took forever to get him down let alone eat.  That was why I started putting him to bed at 8.  My IL and parents make me seem like some sort of a nut for leaving places early and refusing to stay out because he needs to be in bed at 8.  I just don't want to mess with his STTN while i have it and I don't want to have an overtired screaming baby on my hands.  I think you've answered your own question here!  LOL.  When LO needs sleep, the best thing you can do is make sure he gets it.  Nobody will be happy with a screaming, overtired baby.  I have gotten flack from IL's for leaving early so DD could go to bed, and also gotten the side-eye from same IL's when we didn't and she had a meltdown.  In the end, YOU have to deal with a banshee-screaming bundle of unhappiness, not them.
  

   Naps- when did you start forcing the crib nap?  How long is it feasible to have my LO nap in his swing??????  I let DD nap in her swing until she was physically too big for it, at which time she stopped napping well in it- 8 months, maybe?  I'm a big believer of napping wherever works- DS sleeps in his crib at night, and that's my biggest concern.
  

  Thank you in advance for any help you throw my way....... just having a panic attack of sorts realizing once again all of the stuff I do not know......  Join the club!  Even though this is my 2nd, there are definitely times I wonder "Is he sleeping too much?  Eating too much?  How come he hasn't rolled over yet?"  Then I have to remind myself that at this point he'll sleep when he's tired, eat when he's hungry, and roll when he's ready.  You'll figure out what's right for you and your family.  GL!
  

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• jb2rn member

  February 2012

  I will preface this with we are not schedule people. Ds is still in the pack n play with no plans to transition soon. I think a gradual change, as others said, is a good start. I don't think there is s wrong or right way in regards to sleep. If your current routine works, I would not change it. Listen to your gut on that one. My son won't take a paci so I am no help there.

  b/w=FSH 15.6, AMH 0.4 surprise natural BFP on 3/12/11
  DS born via unplanned C-section at 40w6d
  
  
  
  

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