Tell DH before or after HPT?

illinigal · November 2008

So I'm thinking about taking a HPT next Sunday if AF doesn't show up by then. I was trying to decide whether to tell DH before taking it that I'm going to take one or wait until after I take it. Or maybe I'll ask him this weekend when he wants to know about HPT for future reference or something like that. What do most of you do?

belle4304 · November 2008

I tell him when I think I might take one and then let him know the results after he wakes up... I wake up much earlier and tend to test on the weekends b/c I worry about too much excitement if I should get a BFP and then having to go to work and hold it all in... If I get a BFP I probably wouldn't be able to not go and wake him up though.

llyynn · November 2008

I'm new at this, but last cycle I told DH I was testing and he seemed nonchalant. This cycle I plan on not telling him unless I get a BFP.

Nykki Thomaston · November 2008

I dont tell unless I get a BFP. I dont want his hopes to get up, so it is easier for him to hear that AF is here.

skinnursemandee · November 2008

My Dh does not want to know when I test unless it is a BFP.

Emmerjill21 · November 2008

My H doesn't care if I tell him before or after...he just wants to be the first to know. I want to surprise him so I will tell him after I take the HPT. Someone on a board once told her H...you got to surprise me with the proposal, I get to surprise you with the baby.

nova & paul · November 2008

My D/H feels the same. He leaves for work at 4am so when I test hes already at work. Which is good because if I get a bfp I'll be screaming and wont be able to surprise him like I have planned.

illinigal · November 2008

Emmerjill21:
My H doesn't care if I tell him before or after...he just wants to be the first to know. I want to surprise him so I will tell him after I take the HPT. Someone on a board once told her H...you got to surprise me with the proposal, I get to surprise you with the baby.

I love that surprise him idea. Thanks.

rssnlvr · November 2008

I just asked him when we were first starting out if he wanted to be there when I tested, if he didn't care one way or another, or if he wanted to not be there and be surprised. I expected him to say that he didn't really care, but he really thought about it and said that he wanted to be there--he said he wants to see my reaction when we get our BFP (and he actually said "BFP"--he's so nest savvy).

Anyway, I would suggest asking him what he would like!

happysong · November 2008

I actually haven't talked to mine about this yet. I figure i'll only tell him if it's a BFP.

jessnsteve527 · November 2008

My DH wants to know when I test.

illinigal · November 2008

Thank you everyone... I am still a little torn, I love the surprise him idea, but maybe I'll ask DH this weekend if he wants to know in the future when I'm going to test or whether he'd prefer to be surprised- can you ask someone if they want to be surprised?!

SWBs Wifey · November 2008

DH knows enough about my cycle to know when I am going to test. I don't wake him up for it though.

jetgrrrl · November 2008

I haven't tested much because I've been charting and I've managed to be pretty disciplined about not testing on like DPO 10. I know what my luteal phase should be and I know when I ovulated - and often my temp goes down before my period so there's been no need. I did have a 34-day cycle on a month when we went on vacation and I didn't detect my O before we left, and that cycle I did test on CD 29 and got a BFN, finally tested again on CD 33 as I had not gotten AF or AF symptoms. I told him I was late and was testing that time.

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