I survived

careyalis · February 2012

My baby's funeral was today and I lived through it. It was absolutely beautiful but so, so very hard. I am still shocked at how many people showed up-there was standing room only. We dressed her and rocked her again this morning. She is still as beautiful as ever. She just looked like a sleeping angel and she was so precious in her dress and bonnet. I wrote Avery a letter and read it to her during the funeral. I felt like I was going to collapse, but my husband was there holding me up and I was able to get through it. Since her casket was so small, they had her ride in a limo with us and our parents instead of using a hearse. I liked that she was right there with us. I did alright until they lowered he into the ground and then I just completely lost it. I feel so incredibly broken right now and I want to hold her again so badly. I want my baby back.

dandywarhol · February 2012

{{hugs}} My heart aches for you. I wish I could have been at her service to support you. It sounds like you had a touching funeral for Avery. How nice that so many people showed up to support you, your family, and Avery. You are so strong to be able to read your letter to Avery. I couldn't do the same for Sylvie's service.

Gizu92708 · February 2012

I'm sorry. Big hugs.

mrssoprano · February 2012

I am so sorry. (((hugs)))

weddedwife · February 2012

I'm so proud that you made it through. And how wonderful that so many people showed up to support you and to celebrate Avery's life. I know it hurts right now but I think long term you will be happy with the funeral service.

I'm thinking of you with love! Big hugs, mama.

pottermommy · February 2012

The internment was the hatdest part for me as well. Big hugs my love.

pandabearlover · February 2012

Hugs. Avery is so loved!

drvst8 · February 2012

Huge Hugs! The serivce sounded beautiful. Avery is definitely loved and she knows it.

StephK86 · February 2012

HUGS I am crying with you momma. You are so brave to read to her at the funeral. I know she was listening to every word and so glad you read that to her. I wanted to do the same so bad but knew I couldn't. My mom read a beautiful letter she wrote which included stories I told her about the adventures my SO and I had with our new baby. I couldn't breathe while she was reading it. I think the worst for me was when Gavin was lowered in to the ground my SO who held his composure the whole time dropped to his knees. You are a very brave, strong woman.

My heart hurts for you so bad and I was thinking of you all day yesterday. I am continuing to pray for your strength.

krysiahamaty · February 2012

I am crying for you right now. I'm so sorry. Big huge hugs. I am happy to hear it was so beautiful.

magdalina.h · February 2012

((hugs))

Heatherhah · February 2012

Hugs to you!!

LuckEinLuv · February 2012

{{hugs}}. I was thinking of you yesterday. I am sure Avery loved your letter. I am so sorry that you had to watch them put her in the ground. Just remember that she is not really down there. She is a beautiful angel flying around happy and healthy.

Mjmksb04 · February 2012

I am sorry.

cherrycobbler · February 2012

I'm so glad you had a beautiful service and there was such an outpouring of love and support from your friends and family. Somehow, it seems to be comforting to know that our little ones touched so many lives in their short stays with us. Lots of hugs to you and your family.

karebear57 · February 2012

((Hugs)) ((Hugs)) ((Hugs)) It sounds like it was a beautiful service. Avery's so lucky to have you as a mom. I know you have made her proud when you read your poem, I know I wouldn't have been able to do that.

nuttycoconut · February 2012

I've been away so I'm just catching up with the board. I'm so sorry about your beautiful baby Avery. I was happy to read that you were able to spend some time with her before she passed and that her service was so beautiful. Big hugs.

Auki13 · February 2012

I remember burying Annabelle like it was yesterday. No mother should have to bury her baby. I am so so sorry, but I am glad that it went well and you were able to say goodbye in such a beautiful way. I also lost it when they put the casket in the ground. It broke my heart and I couldn't watch. (((HUGE HUGS)))

johnnys june · February 2012

*huge hugs*

MandynStephen · February 2012

(((hugs))) One of the hardest things we should never have to do.

AnaJourney · February 2012

I am so sorry. I've been following your story. I have been wanting to say something but didn't quite know how I could articulate quite what I wanted to say. You are an amazing example of grace and strength. I don't think I could have the courage and poise that you do at this moment in time. Your love for your daughter is amazing, so amazing that we all feel it. I've been thinking about you and even though you don't know me I want you to know that beautiful Avery and your family are in my prayers. Hang in there, momma.

Bread09 · February 2012

I'm so sorry.

foxxy1 · February 2012

*HUGE HUGS*

I'm just so, so sorry, Carey.

roxyttandme · February 2012

I am just so very sorry ! (((hugs)))

lpeter01 · February 2012

I am giving you an air HUG.. I am crying for you right now and want you to know you are being of thought of at this very moment... Take Care Carey. I wish we could have them back too..