Late Term and Child Loss

Thank you all

Thanks for all of your sweet comments and support. I just had a chance to read all of your thoughtful messages from Thursday.  Today has been the hardest day yet. My milk came in this morning and I have nothing to wear for Avery's funeral tomorrow so I went to the mall. That was a huge mistake and I had to hysterically cry my way out of macys.  Everywhere I turned was a beautiful, healthy baby. If it wasn't a baby, it was an adorable little girl or happily pregnant woman. I'm just going to wear maternity clothes and be done with it. Avery's birth was perfect though and I am so thankful for that. We kept her all day Thursday, had them take her while we slept, and then kept her until I was discharged. It was sooooo hard to hand her over. We planned her funeral and picked her grave yesterday. We held her again at the funeral home which was really awesome and we are going back to dress her before her funeral tomorrow. I don't know if I am strong enough for this. My heart just hurts so much. I posted her birth story on my blog if anyone is interested. It is www.averyalis.blogspot.com. Her obituary is up on the funeral home's website too. It is https://obit.memorialobituaries.com/obitdisplay.html?id=1034062&cliehttps://obit.memorialobituaries.com/obitdisplay.html?id=1034062&clientid=rattermanntid=ratterman  (sorry its not clicky). Thanks again for all of your love and support. It means a lot to have people who understand. I may not know you irl, but Iove you all. 



My angel Avery- 2/16/12, My rainbow Blake= 3/4/13, Joyfully awaiting #3 5/11/15
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Re: Thank you all

  • Thank you for sharing the links. Again I am so sorry for your loss. I'm happy to hear how perfect your time with Avery was though. We are here for you. Big hugs. 
    TTC since November 2009. DH diagnosed with sperm antibodies. IUI #1 = BFN IUI #2 = BFN On the road to IVF.... Egg Retrieval Jan 21, 2011 16 eggs retrieved Egg transfer Jan 26, 2011 Only 2 viable eggs transferred. 1 IVF, 1 ICSI IVF #1 = BFP :-) 10/3/11 No heart beat at 38 weeks: Our baby Jack became an angel 12/14/11 = natural BFP Rainbow baby Samantha Jacklyn born8/8/12. Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
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  • Carey, you're so welcome. Please know we're all here for you. I'm giving so much love to you and your husband through your trying times.  

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  • I'm so sorry about Avery. I so wish I could be there with you tomorrow. I'll be thinking about you and praying that you can get through the service as best as you can . Hugs .
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Daisypath Anniversary tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
  • I'm so sorry about Avery, but so glad that you spent so much time with her.  I've been thinking about you and DH and your beautiful girl for days.  Sending t&p for you all tomorrow!
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

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  • I just caught up on your story through your blog. I am so sorry for your loss of Avery. I'm glad you got to spend so much time with her. I am thinking of and praying for you in the days to come, especially tomorrow as she is laid to rest. ((hugs))
    imageimageimage

    Lilypie First Birthday tickers

    Mother to DD, born sleeping on 9/28/11, and DS, born 3/12/13, 5lbs 13oz, 19in
  • Thank you so much for sharing your photos and story with us.  I'm so sorry for all you are going through, but I'm so glad you got to spend that time with her and that her birth was exactly what you hoped for under the circumstances.  Be gentle with yourself as the days progress and know we are hear for you no matter what you want to say.  Big huge hugs.
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers 

    CafeMom Tickers

    Married the love of my life 7/11/09 - Our first baby, Peyton Mark, was born sleeping 10/25/11 at 33 weeks - Our second baby, BFP 2/4/12, welcome to the world Raylan! Holy Moly, BPF 2/4/14, please be safe and sound little one!

    My Blog

  • I will be thinking of you tomorrow. I'm so sorry. Avery is such a sweet name. Big, big, big hugs. 
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    IVF/ICSI #1 July/August 2011 BFP # 1 - B/G twins - preterm labor/cervical incompetency @ 23w3d FET # 1 March/April 2012 - BFN 5/1/12 FET # 2 July 2012 - BFN 7/24 FET # 3 BFP! EDD 5/15/13 Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Pregnancy Ticker
  • I am so sorry for your loss. I remember when my mom drug me along to get dresses for my son's funeral and wake. The two of us honestly just grabbed whatever we found in black and left. I cried the whole time but kept my big sunglasses on. Now that I think of it, it wasn't that important what I wore. I just was unable to think for myself at that time.

    Wear whatever you want. I am thinking of you at this difficult time hunny. I know how hard it is and the worst part is the funeral. If you ever need to talk I will listen. HUGS again I am so, so sorry. Praying for your strength.

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  • Again, I am so sorry for your loss.


    I completely forgot about the milk issue at Carter's funeral (I was pumping and ended up going eight hours without a pump) and by the end of the funeral, my shirt was soaked (thankfully I had a suit jacket over it). Everyone kept coming up to me giving me tight hugs. People forget about the boobs. I only tell you that in case you don't have a plan already.

    Many prayers of strength for the funeral. It is a hard day.

  • Sending you and your DH lots of T & P and *hugs* today!
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  • THank you for checking in. Again, I am so sorry for your loss. After both of mine, I definitely felt like there were pregnant women and babies everywhere I turned, so that made it hard to get out.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    DD #1 passed away in January 2011 at 14 days old due to congenital heart disease
    DD#2 lost in January 2012 at 23 weeks due to anhydramnios caused by a placental abruption
  • Leaving the hospital without Nathaniel was the hardest thing I have ever done. I'm sorry you are going through all of these emotions now.

    Try cabbage leaves for your breasts; I also used frozen bags of peas on mine & it really helped.

    Thank you for sharing your story with us. I know we all wish we could be there to support you IRL.

    Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I've been avoiding TB since we got our poor prenatal diagnosis back in December, so I'm new to this board and had to catch up with your story on your blog. Thank you for sharing your story. Glad you got to have peaceful time with sweet, Avery. Sending you t&p on this day to you and your family.

    *side note* I recognize your profile name. I used to live on April 2012 Mom board; did you post there? We got a fatal diagnosis and I went into labor at 28 weeks. Zachary lived for an hour before he passed peacefully in my DH's arms. Through tears I read most of your blog last night and I admire your strength to write (and share) your experience.

    Like the pp said I used cold cabbage leaves and a bad of frozen veggies to prevent and keep the milk dried up and also to help with breast soreness.

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  • You are all in my thoughts and prayers. ((hugs))
    TTC with severe MFI since 9/08 IVF w/ ICSI #1 May/June 2010= BFP twins
    Callan George and Bennett Charles born and died 11/7/10
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    FET #1 April 2011= BFN
    FET #2 July 2011= no transfer because my lining sucked
    FET #3 February 2012= BFP! 1st beta 9dp5dt=314 2nd beta 11dp5dt=977 1st U/S 3/20 Twins- Heart rates of 111 and 138 Pregnancy Ticker
    Living After Losing
  • I'm so glad you got to spend time with Avery.  Being able to bathe and dress our Robin was a great pleasure, it gave us a chance to really inspect his little toes and fingers and just being able to have that quiet, peaceful time was something I will always cherish.  I know it is already too late for this, but I wore a brightly colored floral dress to the viewing at the funeral home, seemed slightly wrong, but honestly it was all I had that fit that wasn't a tank top and denim shorts.  So I am sure that whatever you wore, was perfect.  Lots of love and (hugs) to you and your family.
    BFP#1: EDD 10/11/11 Our sweet boy Robin was born 7 weeks a little early on 8/23/11 due to HELLP syndrome, unfortunately he was diagnosed with Trisomy13 and left us on 8/29/11. BFP#2: EDD 10/13/13
    thelossblog.blogspot.com
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