Thank you all

careyalis · February 2012

Thanks for all of your sweet comments and support. I just had a chance to read all of your thoughtful messages from Thursday. Today has been the hardest day yet. My milk came in this morning and I have nothing to wear for Avery's funeral tomorrow so I went to the mall. That was a huge mistake and I had to hysterically cry my way out of macys. Everywhere I turned was a beautiful, healthy baby. If it wasn't a baby, it was an adorable little girl or happily pregnant woman. I'm just going to wear maternity clothes and be done with it. Avery's birth was perfect though and I am so thankful for that. We kept her all day Thursday, had them take her while we slept, and then kept her until I was discharged. It was sooooo hard to hand her over. We planned her funeral and picked her grave yesterday. We held her again at the funeral home which was really awesome and we are going back to dress her before her funeral tomorrow. I don't know if I am strong enough for this. My heart just hurts so much. I posted her birth story on my blog if anyone is interested. It is www.averyalis.blogspot.com. Her obituary is up on the funeral home's website too. It is https://obit.memorialobituaries.com/obitdisplay.html?id=1034062&cliehttps://obit.memorialobituaries.com/obitdisplay.html?id=1034062&clientid=rattermanntid=ratterman (sorry its not clicky). Thanks again for all of your love and support. It means a lot to have people who understand. I may not know you irl, but Iove you all.

krysiahamaty · February 2012

Thank you for sharing the links. Again I am so sorry for your loss. I'm happy to hear how perfect your time with Avery was though. We are here for you. Big hugs.

foxxy1 · February 2012

Carey, you're so welcome. Please know we're all here for you. I'm giving so much love to you and your husband through your trying times.

Gizu92708 · February 2012

I'm so sorry about Avery. I so wish I could be there with you tomorrow. I'll be thinking about you and praying that you can get through the service as best as you can . Hugs .

lrichmond86 · February 2012

I'm so sorry about Avery, but so glad that you spent so much time with her. I've been thinking about you and DH and your beautiful girl for days. Sending t&p for you all tomorrow!

mrssoprano · February 2012

I just caught up on your story through your blog. I am so sorry for your loss of Avery. I'm glad you got to spend so much time with her. I am thinking of and praying for you in the days to come, especially tomorrow as she is laid to rest. ((hugs))

Petunia844 · February 2012

Thank you so much for sharing your photos and story with us. I'm so sorry for all you are going through, but I'm so glad you got to spend that time with her and that her birth was exactly what you hoped for under the circumstances. Be gentle with yourself as the days progress and know we are hear for you no matter what you want to say. Big huge hugs.

eroplane · February 2012

I will be thinking of you tomorrow. I'm so sorry. Avery is such a sweet name. Big, big, big hugs.

StephK86 · February 2012

I am so sorry for your loss. I remember when my mom drug me along to get dresses for my son's funeral and wake. The two of us honestly just grabbed whatever we found in black and left. I cried the whole time but kept my big sunglasses on. Now that I think of it, it wasn't that important what I wore. I just was unable to think for myself at that time.

Wear whatever you want. I am thinking of you at this difficult time hunny. I know how hard it is and the worst part is the funeral. If you ever need to talk I will listen. HUGS again I am so, so sorry. Praying for your strength.

BeccaMarie · February 2012

Again, I am so sorry for your loss.

I completely forgot about the milk issue at Carter's funeral (I was pumping and ended up going eight hours without a pump) and by the end of the funeral, my shirt was soaked (thankfully I had a suit jacket over it). Everyone kept coming up to me giving me tight hugs. People forget about the boobs. I only tell you that in case you don't have a plan already.

Many prayers of strength for the funeral. It is a hard day.

johnnys june · February 2012

Sending you and your DH lots of T & P and *hugs* today!

Mjmksb04 · February 2012

THank you for checking in. Again, I am so sorry for your loss. After both of mine, I definitely felt like there were pregnant women and babies everywhere I turned, so that made it hard to get out.

weddedwife · February 2012

Leaving the hospital without Nathaniel was the hardest thing I have ever done. I'm sorry you are going through all of these emotions now.

Try cabbage leaves for your breasts; I also used frozen bags of peas on mine & it really helped.

Thank you for sharing your story with us. I know we all wish we could be there to support you IRL.

UTbride06 · February 2012

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I've been avoiding TB since we got our poor prenatal diagnosis back in December, so I'm new to this board and had to catch up with your story on your blog. Thank you for sharing your story. Glad you got to have peaceful time with sweet, Avery. Sending you t&p on this day to you and your family.

*side note* I recognize your profile name. I used to live on April 2012 Mom board; did you post there? We got a fatal diagnosis and I went into labor at 28 weeks. Zachary lived for an hour before he passed peacefully in my DH's arms. Through tears I read most of your blog last night and I admire your strength to write (and share) your experience.

Like the pp said I used cold cabbage leaves and a bad of frozen veggies to prevent and keep the milk dried up and also to help with breast soreness.

cookie_queen · February 2012

You are all in my thoughts and prayers. ((hugs))

cherrycobbler · February 2012

I'm so glad you got to spend time with Avery. Being able to bathe and dress our Robin was a great pleasure, it gave us a chance to really inspect his little toes and fingers and just being able to have that quiet, peaceful time was something I will always cherish. I know it is already too late for this, but I wore a brightly colored floral dress to the viewing at the funeral home, seemed slightly wrong, but honestly it was all I had that fit that wasn't a tank top and denim shorts. So I am sure that whatever you wore, was perfect. Lots of love and (hugs) to you and your family.

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