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Babies: 3 - 6 Months
Issues with grandams long story
So we have a baby, first grand baby for both sides of my and my husbands family. But the grandmas are driving us insane! My husbands mother is so overbaring about how much she gets to hold our baby. She doesnt let any one else hold her when she is around and i have to practically tackle her to get my own daughter back when she is crying. She is bombarding us with "needing" to see her and her family "needing" to see her more, always when it suites them. Usually always around DD nap times. We will say no that doesnt work she will need her nap, but she will just show up or bring her family in from out of town so we have to go when it suites her. I have had enough and so has my husband. We are the parents but we are getting treated like children. What we say should go shouldnt it?
Its not like we dont want her to see her granddaughter but when it suites us and our babys schedule. And in our opinion she doesnt need to see her multiple times per week. We are tired and my hubby works full time early days for him. So we like to be at home and relax sometimes.
My mother is always asking how often my father in law gets to baby sit. He doesnt work and he is great with kids. ( he raised my hubby and his sister) Hubby's mom is not maternal and worked a lot during his childhood.( a little back ground info)
Its not very often that he does baby sit as im off on mat leave. But for appointments her will watch her for me. So my mom is annoyed that he does and she doesnt. My mom works full time, and lives 1hr away from us. ( also drinks everyday) We have talked so many times to both grandmas about what is bothering us, and yet they both still act the same. What are we to do? We are ready to snap!
enjoy every moment
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Re: Issues with grandams long story
As far as your mil goes, your husband needs to talk to her. He needs to tell her that she's coming over far too often, it's stressing everybody out, and she needs to cut it out.
(My dh has had to have this talk with his mom several times)
If my mil comes over while dd is napping I'll meet her on the front porch before she can knock and basically say sorry G's napping you can't come in. (I live in a tiny house so there's really no barrier for noise)
If she's coming over unexpectedly that might help her remember to call first at least.
As for you mom, it might be hard, but just tell her what you said here "Sorry, but your drinking makes me uncomfortable leaving LO with you".
Yeah, she'll probably get mad at you but it beats her watching your LO while drunk.
Grandma's are sometimes harder work than the babies. Good luck.
unannounced and the baby was sleeping we will just tell her he was sleeping and if was not a good time because we were going to take a nap too. Long story short she did not see our son for like a month and a half and now it is under our terms. I worked hard in a routine so our son has a some predictible schedule (it varies withing 30 minutes from day to day) so if she calls and wants to see him I just tell her when he is going to be awake and if it works for her fine and if it doesn't too bad for her. I guess she realized that if she wanted to see her grandson she needed to do in our terms or she was not going to see him.
DH had to have a talk with his parents too. It was just too much for me and I had a CS with her. I was still recouping and struggling to EBF and then she wanted to be there holding her all the time. He really needs to take charge & talk to her.
I have a similar situation with my Mom and the drinking. My Dad is on the wagon & then suddenly off the wagon, he has a serious problem. If we come to visit & he is drinking we leave right away. My Mother had not even asked to watch her b/c she knows I feel their enviroment is to unpredictable to put my DD in with out me.
I wish you the best of luck. Hugs!
Boundaries. Put your foot down. Be polite, but firm. You are the mom & you make the rules.
Learn it. Love it.
If they freak they will get over it.
Open the door and firmly state "So sorry little Amy is sleeping, but you can come back in about an hour when she wakes up." Then close the door. Hopefully she doesn't have a key.
As for babysitting, lie.