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January 2012 Moms
PsyDr04
member
Just need to vent
PsyDr04
member
Hi ladies,
I've missed being able to check this board as much as I used to before DS was born. I've read some posts today and know I am just going to reiterate what some others have posted, but good grief this motherhood thing is hard. Don't get me wrong, I love my son more than life itself, but this sleep deprivation stuff is getting to me. He really doesn't sleep terribly well in his crib (though he does sometimes, but generally won't stay asleep for TOO long). Yesterday he was asleep all day for some reason and so he was awake ALL night - from midnight to 9 this morning. I got so frustrated I just started crying. Sometimes I resent my husband because he gets to sleep at night (I let him because he has to work) but at the same time I get so jealous. When my husband is home or DS is napping, I find that I'm so tired I can't fall asleep (as ridiculous as that sounds). Some days I feel like I am BFing all the time, some days I barely get anything to eat myself or get a shower or brush my teeth because the baby is fussing/crying/screaming. Everyone says this will get better, but some days I feel like I am in motherhood hell.
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Re: Just need to vent
Your DH goes to work, but YOU work too, taking care of your baby! And if you're that sleep deprived then your H needs to step up and help out some. Talk to him and tell him how you're feeling and that you need some help. He wouldn't function very well at work with no sleep and you don't either!
It is really tough right now, but things do get better. Your LO will sleep more, and you will sleep more, you just have to get through this time. Everything you're feeling right now is totally normal, being a new mom is so very hard. Do you have someone that can come over and watch your LO during the day so that you can rest for a while?
This. At first, I never asked DH to get up but after 2 weeks, I was over that. I still usually get up the majority of the time, but I have him get up in the middle or rotate with me so I can try to get some sleep. I still don't sleep very well in general, but at least I am laying down and resting. DH has also adapted to getting less sleep.
Oh you poor thing, hugs. I will repeat what everyone has told me - it does get better with time.
That being said, your DH needs to help you. Taking care of your LO IS a full time job TOO. And you need your rest, even if it's just a little bit, so you can do that job well. I hope he comes around and at least picks up a feeding or two at night.
I try and take care of DD at night right now since DH works, but from 3pm (when he gets home) until bed, DH does 75-90% of the work. You need a break, so ask for help!! And if LO isn't letting you sleep at night, you need and deserve help then, too.
Thank you everyone for the support. I do ask DH to watch the baby when he is off from work so I can get a nap at least (his schedule is weird, so he has a few days off each week, not necessarily the same days every week). I may start asking him to help more at night. I really don't think he has any idea how exhausting it is and I'm not faulting him for that. Even when I told him that the other night DS was up from midnight until 9 am, he just sort of snorted and shook his head. That wasn't exactly the response I was looking for. DH was awesome the first couple of weeks after DS was born, but he's slacked a little when it comes to helping out nowadays. He spends a lot of time on his computer playing games and whatnot (he has always done that) and while he will stop what he is doing when I need help, I think he needs to be much more interactive with DS when he is filling in for me (e.g., don't just put DS on the playmat, actually play with him).
I think I have hesitated to ask for more help lately because he is supporting us as the sole breadwinner right now but I agree that being a mom is a full time job and it does no one any good when mommy is flat out exhausted. We will have to make some adjustments when I go back to work because I won't be able to be effective at all if I'm working and exhausted - that's not fair to me and would not be fair at all to my clients. I'm not sure when I will be going back to work but I am currently pursuing a potential option and so DH and I are going to have to have a serious talk about sharing nighttime responsibilities with DS, especially when I start working again.
On a positive note, DS and I got about a 3 hour nap in today when we both slept on the bed. I never thought 3 hours of sleep would seem like a lot!