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choppinbroccoli22
member
I'm out. And mad at myself.
choppinbroccoli22
member
This is 27/12.
I had a bad feeling about this cycle last night when I caught myself crying a little too hard over my daughter's teething pain. I said to myself, "wait...AF is due on Sunday. Could I be PMSing?"
This morning, I woke up with AF-like cramps. And then I felt AF-like moist underwear. Aw, crap.
I'm mad at myself because I was so hopeful. Ever since 15/0 I've been feeling a very pleasant and intense warmth in the uterus area, just like I did with DD since the day she was conceived. Every. Day. Every. Night. Please don't tell me that you can't feel conception-- I can google too, but whatever reaction happens at conception, whatever chemical or physical change, I felt something with DD that was later confirmed exactly to the day with a blood test, and my mom felt something and my cousin felt something. I didn't know what else it could have been this time, since being PG with DD was the only other time it has happened to me. I let myself be convinced that it meant something. Now I guess I should call my doctor soon and ask if there could be something wrong with me..or maybe I'll wait and see if the feeling goes away by itself now that AF is here. 
The other thing that I can't get out of my head is, maybe we really did conceive and all those feelings were real, but something went wrong. My husband said, if something did go wrong, then this is the best outcome.
Sorry to be a downer. Hope everyone has a good weekend. I am looking forward to a couple glasses of wine.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I'm out. And mad at myself.
Mom to 4 wonderful children: T(8), B(6) ,M(3), and A(1)
I think the hardest part of this whole thing is how horribly your mind (and body) can play with your heart. What you felt was real, to you, and now you know it wasn't--and that SUCKS. We call them "phantom symptoms" and dismiss them, but I know they're very very very real for a lot of women. Don't beat yourself up.
Enjoy the wine, and remember that CD1 is just the beginning of another chance...
Sorry this cycle didn't work out for you. I'm on cycle 9 and I'm starting to get used to my period showing up right when I've convinced myself I'm KU. TTC has a funny way of messing with your head. I've felt so many "symptoms" since I've been trying, things I never felt before. Things I used to say never happened to me (like spotting mid cycle) now happen and make me feel either hopeful or scared. Ultimately, my "symptoms" mean nothing, though. I'm learning not to read into any of it.
Not sure about this feeling you described and if it would be worth going to see a doctor for, especially since it doesn't sound painful. From everything I've read, you can't feel anything so soon after conception (which I'm sure others will tell you, as well).
Good luck and enjoy that wine!
Sorry it took me a couple days but I just wanted to thank you guys for your kind words. And I learned something that now makes sense to me-- as a prosthetist (I make artificial limbs) I often see patients who report phantom limb sensations- and while obviously the leg is not there, it doesn't mean they aren't really feeling something. And even though medicine understands very little of this, we all completely credit the patient for the feelings and deal with them as real feelings. I think I get it, now. You speak of "phantom" symptoms not as "fake" or "I'm psychotic" symptoms, but as "real to me but not actually explainable" symptoms. Thank you.
And now I know not to trust them. I knew I wasn't making them up.. I just didn't know it was possible to feel them with no apparent cause. Never made the connection before.. this helps.