When will feel like myself again?

rachelbck

Hello all. I miscarried at 6 weeks. That was about a week and a half ago. Now I'm still trying to pick up the pieces of my life and I'm find I g it so difficult. This would have been our first and we're trying so hard. It hit us both so hard when we got the news but it seems like my husband has moved on and I'm just stuck. I cant seem to get past it. I just want to laugh and be normal again but I just feel a huge weight on my shoulder and a dark cloud over my life. I try to tell myself it's normal to feel this way and I'll feel better soon , but I can't seem to find any joy in life to look forward to. I called off work today because I'm just so tired of putting on a happy face and pretending everything is OK. How long before I feel OK again? Does it ever get easier?

MIssSally25

I'm so sorry for your loss. Lots of hugs!

I lost my baby about 4 weeks ago, and I am finally starting to feel somewhat normal again. I remember feeling guilty for smiling there for the first two weeks. It's completely normal to be upset! It is such an awful thing to go through (however "normal" the doctors say it is). 

I called off work for a few days afterwards also because it was just too hard. I would suggest taking as much time as you need to, to just allow yourself to heal. Take it day by day, and it'll start to get better. 

Good luck!

sparklepoo

The best advice that I can offer is to let yourself grieve. I also lost my baby two weeks ago, and the best advice that I have gotten is to let myself grieve. That is probably what has helped me the most so far. When I allowed myself to feel how I felt I began to feel a release. Sometimes we try to be super strong and move past it quickly, but you have just been through a major physical, emotional and mental ordeal and you need to allow yourself to emote without any judgment and without rushing yourself. Of course I am still sad, but I am so surprised at how far I have come in the past two weeks. Last week I felt like was sinking into a hole that I wouldn't come out of, but allowing myself to grieve in my own way has oddly made me feel determined to try again. I am still sad, but I feel better than I did last week. Some of my process would probably be weird to others, but I am taking care of myself and it has been theraputic for me. The time it takes you to get over this loss may be different for you than for someone else, but don't rush yourself and don't judge yourself. Listen to yourself. Your body, your mind and your emotions will tell you what you need.

bansel92813

I lost my baby almost 6 months ago and some days the pain is so intense and real like it happened yesterday. Then others I feel I have moved past it. It's a slow process and some days are just better than others, but it will get better.

Bleebebebebe

There is no time frame and every one is going to be so very different. Keep breathing. Take it one day, one minute, one breath at a time. You will get through it. (((HUGS)))

Mrswolf0319

I lost my baby January Ninth of last year. I still am very sad about it, but knowing how far I came since then has helped me. Everyone heals differently some faster than others. I learned that I can't blame myself and I have to stay strong for myself. Healing takes time. One day at a time. I had to talk about it and really unload my feelings. But it helps if you can talk to some one. Hugs and more hugs! I'm sorry for your loss.

rachelbck

Thank you so much ladies. The words mean so much more when coming from someone who has gone through the same thing. All of your incredible strength gives me hope and your honesty is wonderful. This process can be so lonely some times, thanks for being a little beacon of light at the end of a long tunnel.

tcann320

Sorry for your lost.

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rain0831boww

Im sorry for your loss and things do get better, or at least become easier. Everyone is different so do what you feel. I just experienced my second miscarriage and I'm doing better than I thought. My first was at 21 weeks and very traumatic. Cry when you want. Get angry. Be jealous. Be how you want. Write your feelings down. Its something you will think about for the rest of your life but you will have good, bad, horrible and great days. Your husband may not express his emotions like you either. At least that's how mine was. He was trying to be strong for me but he also has his moments too. There is really nothing you can say to help. The loss happened. Its not fair. Have faith or hope. That's what gets me through. Hugs and hoping for a ton of rainbows.

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4N6s

It gets easier. It's been over 4 months and I don't feel back to normal yet, but pretty close.
There are times that are incredibly depressing, but I just try to stay positive.

Good luck and I'm so sorry for your loss.

alexdanielle27

I feel the exact same way. I naturally miscarried at 7 weeks 2 days on Saturday after TTC for over a year and I just want to feel like myself again. I tried going back to school but I couldn't concentrate at all and had to leave early because I was about to break down. I also tried going back to work which was a huge mistake as I teach preschool dance. Seeing those little girls instantly made me cry knowing that I was supposed to have that. My boss is very understanding and is letting me take all the time I need but I don't know when or if I'll ever feel ready to go back. Where do you even begin to recover from something like this?

tigerfish227

I had a d&c because of a missed m/c a month ago today. I was 12 weeks along when I went in for my first official prenatal appointment. I don't think I will ever really feel "normal" again but I will say that I have at least come to accept what happened and that I am able to move on. Everyone is different and it will take time more than anything to heal. My first week or so after my mc I think I was mostly in shock. Then sometime around the end of the second week I had a breakdown. I cried at random. I cried myself to sleep while my fiance held me. I feel so bad for him now because all I could tell him at the time was that I wanted my baby back and there was nothing he could do for me. But I needed to cry. I had to let it out or I was going to lose myself in a depression. I finally started to feel better when I asked him how he was feeling too. I knew it wasn't just my loss but I didn't know how deep it was hitting him because he was so strong for me. So I asked him one night when we were getting in bed to tell me how he was feeling. Hearing him tell me his thoughts and feelings made me feel less alone... And it gave me strength. I think that was my turning point. It was no longer just my loss but ours. And it wasn't the end of it. We can try again and we will. I can't let the fear of another potential loss stop the possibility of a healthy happy baby. I still have my moments but I don't let it consume me. You'll never forget it. You'll never be the same. But you can move on one day at a time.

emililyha

I remember the doctor telling me at the time of my loss that "it truly sucks that this is your first pregnancy." And I know that no matter what pregnancy it is it sucks, but when you lose the only one you ever tried for its so scary and painful to think about all future pregnancies being under that dark cloud.

I lost my baby about a month ago, and it was my first too. I feel down very often when I'm not distracting myself with something else. Night time is the worst. My DH sleeps and I lie awake wondering how someone gets on with their life without a cloud hanging over. I cry when other people talk about their kids. I get sad when I think about what I was supposed to be going through at this point in my pregnancy. But I know that this isn't the endpoint for me. I think the biggest thing that helps me get through the difficult parts (and there are many of them) is knowing that there can still be lots of happy babies for me ahead. I am healthy and I had a miscarriage. And I can try again. And I will! And when I find myself down in the dumps it helps me to remember that I am just going to be that much more excited, grateful, and appreciative when I do get my turn to be "Mommy".