weaning and Mommy guilt

skroops · February 2012

Hey girls, I know I haven't been around much (I swear all those posts with like 400+ views are NOT from me this time!! Stick out tongue ), but I am hoping to get some input on weaning.

I think that Liana is to the point where she is pretty much done with BFing and I am a mess about it. I am still nursing her at home, but basically only once a day and she is not seeming too interested in it. I am nursing her before bedtime now more out of habit than her really needing it. I think that she would probably be fine going to bed without nursing (and she has on certain occasions), but I feel like I am the one who is not ready to give it up yet. I am having a really hard time with coming to terms with the possibility of weaning her now at just over a year when I nursed Zoey until she was 2. I am just feeling really guilty like since I did it for Zoey, I should do it for Liana too. I know that all kids are different and the situation is completely different because with Zoey I wasn't even back to to work until she was 14 months old, but I am still feeling really guilty and sad that it doesn't seem like I will nurse Liana much longer.

So I guess my question is for those of you that have weaned, how did you know it was time? Was it more your decision or LO's and did you have a hard time with it? With Zoey, she had just turned 2 and I was pg with Liana, so I felt like it was an easy decision and the right timing to wean, but with Liana I am much more conflicted.

Also, for those of you that are/were extended BFers, what are/were your reasons for keeping going? Was it more an attachement for LO, or are there still big health benefits to nursing past a year? With Zoey, it was definitely an attachement thing, so I admit I don't know much about the health benefit side of nursing past a year.

Thanks for reading. Sorry this is so long, but I would appreciate any input!

olivia_eve · February 2012

I don't have a ton of advice, but I just wanted to say that I totally know how you feel. Obviously T is only 5 months and nowhere near ready to wean, but I feel pressured to nurse him for as long as I did R, 22 months. And it's almost like I ignore the fact that he might be ready to give it up earlier, because I have to treat them equally.

I weaned Rosie because she was down to once a day nursing for months and months and it started annoying me more than anything. I did "don't offer, don't refuse" and basically weaned her in one day. There are definitely health benefits from extended nursing, the immunities are still passed on, and the milk changes nutritional content to be more fatty, so it's still good for them. However, you've also done a great job and I wouldn't feel pressured to continue going just because of those benefits.

ArcticFox · February 2012

I EPd for both my kids.

My first DD was eating plenty of solid foods by a year, and I was having a lot of personal issues, so it was time.

My 2nd DD pretty much hated solids at a year.. (she still does).. I pumped until 16 months and I was literally pumping blood and my supply was terrible. It was time, but I had a tough time with it. She still downs milk like there's no tomorrow.

I think you are amazing for making it to a year, and still wanting to go longer! I really admire that, and I think it is great that your DD is self-weaning.

jnk062602 · February 2012

I weaned at 15 months because we wanted to get pregnant and even though I was only nursing 1-2 times a day, my period hadn't returned. Also, we were going to be oot and she was off bottles, so I didn't want to bring my pump just to keep my supply up. So I felt guilty bc I was weaning for selfish reasons - nothing about Ellie. She would have been happy to continue. With the ttc, I felt like I was choosing my non-existent hypothetical child over my real child. I mean it worked out, but I wish it was on her terms.

One thing that helped me was dh told me that any time I weaned would be hard, and he was right.

If you aren't ready to be done, maybe give it another week in case it's just a phase.

MelissaSue81 · February 2012

I am not an extended BFer.. both of my girls were weaned around 6 months.. Eve a little after and Natalie a little before. I had supply issues, which was my main reason for stopping, but the girls pretty much let me know they were done.. but it was because my supply was so low they weren't getting much.. so its different.. But I think if she is ready, you should probably let it go.I completely understand wanting to keep going. I was heartbroken when Eve weaned and a little bummed when Natalie did too. But there was just no point when they were not interested.. it wasn't enjoyable for anyone!

I really don't think there are huge health benefits at this point, especially if she's only nursing once a day, ya know?

prncsstp · February 2012

Thanks for posting Skroops, and chat with me anytime about this, because I am going through a similar situation... O is almost 9 months now, and while our first AM nursing session always goes well, on days when he is home with me and weekends, our afternoon/evening sessions are always difficult, because he gets mad at the low flow of the breast compared with bottles he gets at daycare (still using level 1 nipples!).

Anyways, he takes a bottle great, and Im starting to get him to use a sippy (slowly), but I feel like I can't stop nursing, and I hate pumping... I think our time is winding down as well, and I feel sad/guilty too...

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