Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
howleyshell
member
Re: When did Valentines day turn into
Total score: 6 pregnancies, 5 losses, 2 amazing blessings that I'm thankful for every single day.
DD had her party yesterday. I was pleasantly surprised when she came home with a lot of cards with no candy or just one piece of candy attached. We just moved and at her old preschool, she would have gotten a bag full of candy from each of the 16 kids.
I went the pinterest route and gave little plastic animals. A couple of the other kids gave pencils or stickers.
I remember getting candy hearts/hershey kisses when I was a kid - that was in the 70's. I sent DD w/ paper Valentine's and lollipops for each kid. I didn't really think about it very much at all.
IIRC, the kids didn't exchange gifts (or cards) at Halloween with each other, but we did have a class party and trick or treating between rooms @ school.
Ugh, that's so very irritating. Our school has a no-candy policy so we sent Valentines with little tattoos attached, since those are something DD is *VERY* into. She tried to help put them together but they fine motor skill associated with tearing them and assembling them was a little beyond her just yet (she was ripping a lot of stuff, heh heh).
Next year, she'll be writing better, so I'll expect her to sign her name and help me assemble whatever she decides she wants to hand out.
the secret blog
Love the crayon heart idea!
To OP- I know....it is absolutely ridiculous!
I was shocked by this, honestly. Mainly because our school has a no treat policy for birthdays and the winter holidays, so i assumed we were to send paper valentines only. That's what we did, so I was surprised, dismayed, and frankly a bit embarrassed when DS came home with so much candy (and fancy, homemade cards). How was I supposed to know that was expected when it wasn't before? It's confusing.
I'm not really against candy, but they have parties two days in a row at DS's school, so that really did add up to tons of sugar. Plus not knowing in advance made me look very out of the loop.
DS is 2, and I felt super insecure with my first school celebrated holiday.
As a kid I remember all of my classmates made cards, just cards. We also had these cute valentines themed shoeboxes with a slit at the top, and all the kids would put their valentines cards into the boxes of their classmates.
So, this year, I brought the same cards as I remember as a child. Apparently, a lot has changed in 20 someodd years. A little girl brought balloons into the school, giving them to the Vice President...dressed in all red and white. This is a uniformed school! Some kids (aka mommies) made boxes with candy in them...cookies...lollipops...My child has a "sugar tooth," unlike DH and I who have a "salt tooth." It felt like christmas or something, a lot of over the top things being done...for a simple day to express love.
I'm glad the mom's at DD's preschool/daycare are about equally lazy as me.
DD came home yesterday w/ ~20 little store bought Valentines; 4 or 5 included lollipops, 3 had stickers or tatoos, there were 2 "elaborate" ones but they were basically just pre-printed cards and one mom did an elabortely packaged Scooby Doo "magic" towel (LOL).
I didn't think it was excessive at all.
I sent in bear hugs. Teddy grahams and a couple hershey hugs. It was supposed to be just "You are beary special" but the bags looked so empty so I threw in a couple hugs. I gave DS the choice of beary special, somebunny thinks you're special(annies bunnies) or you are of-fish-ally special(goldfish) He wanted bears. He helped me fill the bags, attach the tag, and use the twist tie to close them. He had so many fun helping me.
Almost every card he got had some sort of lollipop or something on it. He also got a couple small hearts of candy(the small ones with 4-6 pieces of chocolate)
Cam 6.6.10 - Autism, Global Developmental Delay, Mixed Receptive/Expressive Communication Disorder