Working Moms - I need your advice...

amr1218 · February 2012

I am reading 'The SleepEasy Solution'. I am at the part where I am supposed to figure out what time LO goes to bed. The book suggests 11 hours of nighttime sleep. I work from 8:00 - 5:00. Right now LO goes to bed around 10:30 and gets up at 7:00 (we are not STTN).

According to the book's suggestion - DD should go to bed at 8:00pm so she can sleep 11 hours and be up at 7:00am.

That gives me (at best) 2 'quality' hours with DD per week day (somewhere between driving home, cooking, cleaning, other daily chores, and getting DD ready for bed). This makes me want to cry.

If you are a mom that works full time - how do you handle bed time? Staying home is not an option for my household.

TIA!

skipperkelly · February 2012

I feel you...I'm in the same boat. By the time I get home I have less than 2 hours as well. I just make the most of the weekends, and as soon as I get home during I spend some time with LO, just talking to him and playing with him. I usually don't get around to doing my chores until after he goes to bed but it's worth it. Make the most of bath and bedtime too. It's a special time that I can have with LO.

It's not easy to balance work and family but I'm hoping that it will get easier.

skipperkelly · February 2012

I feel you...I'm in the same boat. By the time I get home I have less than 2 hours as well. I just make the most of the weekends, and as soon as I get home during I spend some time with LO, just talking to him and playing with him. I usually don't get around to doing my chores until after he goes to bed but it's worth it. Make the most of bath and bedtime too. It's a special time that I can have with LO.

It's not easy to balance work and family but I'm hoping that it will get easier as time goes on.

Jcraul · February 2012

skipperkelly:

I feel you...I'm in the same boat. By the time I get home I have less than 2 hours as well. I just make the most of the weekends, and as soon as I get home during I spend some time with LO, just talking to him and playing with him. I usually don't get around to doing my chores until after he goes to bed but it's worth it. Make the most of bath and bedtime too. It's a special time that I can have with LO.

It's not easy to balance work and family but I'm hoping that it will get easier as time goes on.

This & Team work. You an your DH will need to rely on each other & in our hosuehold that meant he needed to pick up some of the slack from my end. I am not able to do as much as I did before & still play with LO. Now that I've expressed this to my DH & he grasps how much I really did each night he is more than happy to help out. Some nights are harder than others but bathtime and bedtime are the best part of my day! That bonding time with DD is so very special.

kmpage28 · February 2012

We are in the same boat and it is very hard and sad. I work 8a-6p (4 days/week) and get home ~6:35pm...DD starts bedtime at 7:30. So, I get a little less than an hour in the evenings with her. It is hard, but I know the value of a good night sleep and have found that if she stays us too late 1) her sleep that night is not good 2) overtired baby the next day. So, I just cherish the time when I get home (nothing else gets done until she goes to bed) and make the most of my non-work days...It is hard, I don't have a better answer for you, but to let you know you are not alone.

zina0323 · February 2012

I put my son to bed when he is tired. If it is 10:30, it's 10:30. He does STTN though. I have to get him up at 7:30 to take him to my sisters or moms. If a book told me to put him down earlier and not spend more time with him, I would simply stop reading the book.

yankeebear · February 2012

I have ordered that book and can't wait to read it. However we are already putting LO to be by 7:30 or she gets overtired and exhausted. That leaves me about 2 hours of time as well. And during this time I am also trying to get some meaningful quality time with my 4 year old DD. I have a wonderful DH who is super helpful but the evenings are still very hard. You just do what works for you right now and things will get smoother as LO gets bigger. At least I hope so! Good luck!

gajumper · February 2012

Yep..I work, get home around 6, hubby gets home around 7 and take LO for bath, etc while I get dinner ready...then LO eats and is in bed around 8pm. Hubby is usually fast asleep shortly after (he gets up early) and I try to play catch up...laundry, prepping for the next day, etc.

Its tough and the alone time with hubby is next to nothing.

GK2009 · February 2012

I feel your heartache. I work from 9-6p and sometimes I don't get home until 7p. The moment I get home it is baby time. I think I almost instantly overstimulate my son because I am trying to get it all in. I agree with the others... weekends and bathtime and just trying to get it in when you can... I also break the rules and put my son to bed at 10:30p. That seemed to be the way he was falling asleep anyway and he just sleeps later into the next day. I am sure the pediatrician would yell at me... but he gets enough sleep... just not at the "usual" times for a 3 month old. I just keep telling myself that my baby doesn't realize how long I have been gone during the day... I hope that is the case.

amr1218 · February 2012

'Crash into Me'...That really helps to see it spelled out. My heart is shredding as I read this book. I keep thinking that I'm not strong enough to see it through - even though I know it is for the best. I have a friend w/ a 3 year old and I see first hand what can happen w/o consistent night time routines. It is just a mental struggle for me. I know DD will be fine (and will be better off with good sleep habits). It also helps to see how others cope and to know that I am not alone.

Now I just have to get brave enough to start.

Netty_3 · February 2012

I feel the same way. Our little guy falls asleep around 6:30, and then wakes up around 9:30 or 10 just to eat. No one said anything about the guilt. Plus I don't get to see him in the am much, because I go to work so early. The weekends are the best.

preggersin2011 · February 2012

I pick LO up at 5, and get home a at 515.... She plays for a bit then gets a bottle at 6. by 630 she's asleep and usually is asleep for the night. Sometimes she'll wake up at 10 for a bottle, other times its a quick nap then back down at 9. LO is up at 5am to feed, then back to bed while I get myself ready. I don't think it is sooo bad. The closer to bed time the crankier LO will be anyways.

timefour3 · February 2012

You are actually lucky to get the 2 hours; I'm jelous. I leave before DD gets up. I have an hour and a 1/2 commute. I get back in time to give her a bath a feeding, and back to bed. I don't work weekends, so I spend lots of time with her then.

mamaZbo · February 2012

Same here, I feel like I am missing out. I wake DD up at 6:15 every morning and have her at daycare by 7:15. I pick her up most days at 5:30 and we are home by 5:45. When we get home I feed the cats, get DD out of her seat, and play for a little bit. She either naps or helps me cook dinner from her jumperoo and then at 7:00 we start the bedtime routine-bath, jammies, book, bottle, and in bed at 8. She usually goes right to sleep when I put her down in her crib and is out until morning until recently when she has been getting up at 4am to poop . DH leaves for work before she gets up and gets home from his second job after she is in bed, so most of the time it is up to me. He does get 1 or 2 days off during the week so they get their daddy daughter time then and I get one day every other week off and the weekend, so I try and make it quality time.

I have been battling moving bed time back to 7ish. She is usually so sleepy and I either have to wake her up to do our bedtime routine, or she is fussy and rubbing her eyes. I am hesitant to move it back because I feel like I will have even less time to spend with her.

After she is asleep I try and get some chores done, but sometimes I don't want to do anything but veg on the couch. Our house is messy, but DH and I try and do a big pick-up once a week and truthfully, I don't really care if there are toys and "stuff" out.

Being a working mom is tough, but I do enjoy working and I think it makes me a better mom.

brewcitybride · February 2012

There's really no way around it. Your baby needs much more sleep than we do. At 6 months DD (who is now 3) started sleeping from 7 p.m. to 7 a.m. I normally get off work at 4:00, but sometimes I would have evening meetings, so when I would get home, my baby would be sleeping! It was very hard for me at first, and I am not looking forward to that with my DS. Right now he still goes to bed at 9:00, which is great, but I can tell that he is slowly starting to push it up.

The only thing I can say to help you feel better is that a good bedtime is providing the quality sleep that your child needs. Believe me - there will still be lots of time to play. I have found that the infant stage, or even that first year, is really about Moms doing what's best for baby, in terms of eating and sleeping. After that first year, things get so much more fun!

So don't despair. Just make sure that your time with your baby is quality time. Take a day off if you can and have a Mommy and Baby day. Look at it as a time to have some You time, or time with your partner.

Believe me, now that I have two kids, I miss having free evenings!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL.

jiffy-pop · February 2012

Depending on how our nightly routine is going, I try to put her down between 7:00 and 8:00. I have to get up with DD around 5:30am to get her ready for the babysitter and me ready for work. When I get home around 5:00, I put off laundry and things like that until after she goes to bed. The only thing I focus on during that time is supper and taking care of her. It is hard with only having a couple of hours with her during the first few weeks, but it does get easier. The hard days are when she hasn't slept well during the day at the babysitter's and I have to immediately put her down for a nap when I get home and she sleeps through our quality time.

uwtigerlily · February 2012

zina0323:

I put my son to bed when he is tired. If it is 10:30, it's 10:30. He does STTN though. I have to get him up at 7:30 to take him to my sisters or moms. If a book told me to put him down earlier and not spend more time with him, I would simply stop reading the book.

THIS!!!!! I work a minimum of 10 hour days. I would NEVER see my DD during the week otherwise. Besides, she has always been nocturnal! She was most active at 10pm-11pm while in utero. And they say that their in utero activity is an image of their internal clock.

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