- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Baby Showers
having my own get together
Is it ok to throw your own baby get together. Or do i just wait to see if someone will do it. I'm very impatient and the last time someone threw one for me they changed their mind and i ended up without one.
Due August 7 2012
This discussion has been closed.
Re: having my own get together
Do not throw your own, do not ask someone to throw one for you. Both are rude and gift grabby. It is your responsibility to buy everything for your LO.
If you want to celebrate the baby, then have a sip and see or a meet the baby party after LO is born. Those you can host, but you better not mention anything about gifts on the invites. If people want to get you something they will, shower or no shower.
DON'T DO IT!!!
simple as that
Baby Boy born on 1/14/13
All this!
Cranag, thank you for writing what everyone else was really thinking.
This one is only a few posts below yours
https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/63290491.aspx
Also being a planner or entertainer, you should know better than to even ask if it's ok to host your own gift giving event.
I also agree with this, as well as, the pp who said that you being a planner and entertainer you should already know the answer to your own question.
I forgot to throw in the glitter, rainbows, and unicorn farts that the OP poster was wanting. DAMNIT!
It's a get together where everyone comes dressed like this...
Wait, baby shower or baby get together? If you're wanting to have a meet the baby, host yourself, do not register and do not mention gifts at all unless someone asks and then you can politely tell people you don't want gifts, you just want to introduce your new baby to all the awesome people that are going to share in lo's life.
If its a shower / sprinkle / gift event don't host yourself.
Wow, so I guess the August 2012 board is all puppies and rainbows?
Let's let them get a little further along in their pregnancy and really let the hormones come out
Anyone else notice that she claims her mother threw her first shower? Not exactly what she said here about not having a shower...
You're such a meany head. Don't you know we're all here for support? Also, this post made me
I think you should go moo at them!
That's the advice op was wanting to hear in the first place, why can't us hardcore conservative traditionalists just stop posting our genuine (though sometimes snarky / down right mean) advice and start pandering to people who want a guilt-free conscience when they demand gifts, books, diapers and strict adherence to a registry? We'd just make everyone's life easier that way.... Aside from the thankless guests of these "modern" mtbs.
So there's your solution, do what you want, call it what you want, but do so in the knowledge that you may be acting offensively to your guests by ignoring social convention and etiquette. If you're cool with it then you don't need to look to this board for support or advice.
Wow, there is so much back-pedaling in this thread.
I don't understand. You come on this board, ask a question, and then when you don't get the answer you want, you call everyone "mean." That's what this board basically is I guess. But if you have to ask, then it's probably a bad idea, if you're asking about etiquette. I'm just not here to stroke the egoes of overly-sensitive pregnant women who use their hormones as an excuse for everything.
And Liz, I think if I mooed at them over in fluffy pregnancy land, it would be lost on them.
The only reason you think people are being rude is because they are not telling you what you want to hear, not because (it is not cuz) anyone here actually was rude. Even the people on your board said that you were being too thin skinned. If you want people to tell you that you aren't being rude or tacky, talk to your friends, they'll tell you to your face that you can do whatever you want, however, they will say behind your back what we are actually telling you.
And please, learn how to use an apostrophe.
I personally would not host my own baby shower. If no one offered I woul jut leave it at that. As for a "meet the baby" after he/she is born I think it's fine I host yourself. I wouldn't register for anything though.
My friend plans on throwing my shower and I plan on helping her just because that's how I am. It will be my second shower but my first kid is 11.
CRAFTY ME
my read shelf:
>.>
Please, block me. I'd prefer not to feel like my brain has been violently beaten.
you dont have to wait for Tammy to block you, you can block her if you find her posts so incredulous.
furthermore, some of you "ladies" behavior is just plain dispicable. if you are so "hardcore traditionalist" and "conservative" when it comes to etiquette, then you would know that the rules of conduct are there to ensure that EVERYONE feels comfortable and welcomed. it is not to be used as a stick to beat someone over the head with! if you wish to be a crass, rude, b!tch, then be that and admit it, dont hide be the guise of civility.
Tammy, cleary, the women who cannot maintain a sense of decorum in a message board are not the women to listen to about the code of conduct in society. if you want to have a shower, do it, the friends and family that want to support you and be excited for you will come, if they find it offensive that you are throwing your own shower, they will not come. personally, i would plan the shower myself and have a friend or family member, "host" it for you.
GOOD LUCK TO ALL OF YOU LADIES!
Oh, SNAP!!!
Sure, Tammy. Just do whatever you want. Just don't ask questions acting like you want to know whether something is right or wrong. If you're going to do whatever you want in the end, then what difference does it make? Why pose the question to begin with?
Oh noes, you used big words! Decorum? Code of conduct? I'm so shamed!
Bottom line:
You're going to do whatever you want anyways, even if you know that it's rude. You came on here wanting to get smoke, glitter and possibly even squee's blown up your butt about how awesome your self-planned shower is going to be and you found out that it's not acceptable to throw your own shower. Panties were twisted, but they were not ours. Do you feel better because you called us names? If you want someone to tell you what you want to hear, call your mom. We have no personal connection to you and no need to validate your (apparently) fragile psyche. You come here, asking an opinion, you're going to get it.
People will buy your baby presents if they want to, regardless if there is a shower or not. People will celebrate your baby, regardless if there is a shower or not.
He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be. He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.
Thank God you showed up Balls. I second every thing she said. Plus I would like to add that I pride myself on being a crass, rude b!tch. And this is an etiquette board. We are here to tell you what is considered rude and what is not, our purpose is not to coddle you.
The reason that everyone got so upset is because the question that OP asked has been answered SO many times, that it is hard not to see it on here. If she had just read a few of the previous posts (even from that same day) then she would have gotten her answer.
How would you feel if you got asked the same question over and over again? Wouldn't you get a little p!ssy too? Especially if the answer to said question is so easily available. I think so. So unclench.
1) Sorry about your mom. It's a generic statement, you can insert any family/friend you'd like to get the same concept. The point is that people who know you are more concerned about telling you what you want to hear, not what is or is not true.
2) So we're limited to one word answers now? No, I'm not throwing my own shower because throwing my own shower would make me tacky and gift-grabby. If you're making the connection and accusing that statement as calling you tacky and gift grabby, sorry you have that issue.
3) See #2
4) What the world does that have to do with anything? Throw a BBQ after the baby is born in his/her honor. Showers (even when you don't register) are gift-giving events and it's tacky to throw your own party where you are inviting people to buy you presents. You can love to entertain without imposing on your friends and family.
5) See #2
6) If you want blind support, find people who are going to tell you exactly what you want to hear. If you want people who are going to tell you the truth, you're welcome back here.
7) Pregnant women blaming hormones drive me nuts. Guess what, I'm not hormonal. When I actually was pregnant I owned up to my own emotions, like an adult. I didn't rush off to blame hormones for having a breakdown over something as petty as people telling me what I don't want to hear.
8)I do think before I post, I think that throwing your own party is tacky as hell. I think that if someone comes on a board and asks me my opinion, they actually want to hear my opinion. I think that if someone gets this upset because people are telling them what they don't want to hear, they need to step away from the keyboard.
9) If you think that our feelings were hurt, you are greatly mistaken. However, I applaud you on the whole "but you did it to me first, I'm still really the victim here, me me me, pity me" thing you have going on.
He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be. He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.
All right, give it a rest. You've changed your story to make your question sound more appropriate with each post and you've done your darnedest to garner sympathy and support from other boards. So your feelings were hurt, let it go and you'll be a lot happier. If you think we're rude and crass and terrible, don't try to reason with us because we've been to this rodeo a few times we're never dissuaded by name calling or Good Bye Cruel Baby Showers Board posts.