Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: WWYD?
If your son is being bullied, it's important you protect him. Either arrange for him to spend time with someone else during the playdates or don't go. You can explain to your friend exactly why you won't be attending and suggest that her daughter go to your house so the girls can play together.
Ohhhhhh this is a really tough one, but I think you should talk to her about it. Especially if you consider her one of your best friends as you said in your post and because your daughter and her daughter enjoying playing together. I don't think you should stop going and avoid the situation.
Is there a time you could talk with her alone, either on the phone or in person? Maybe meet her for coffee or have her over, go for a walk and talk about it? You could say how your son is feeling and how you feel in a tactful way. I would start off by saying everything you said in the post. How you consider her a good friend and how your daughters play so nicely together and you enjoy getting together for the conversation, etc. Tell her that it is really difficult to bring up but your son doesn't want to play at her house anymore because of a) b) and c) and is there anyway the situation can be made better. See what she says, she might get defensive or she might not and say she doesn't know what to do with him or maybe this conversation might be what gets her to start discipling her son.
It's one thing for minor misbehaviors and such - all kids act out from time to time but it is another thing to be bullied and to have it happen constantly. Her five year old must know he can do these things to your son because he gets away with it and your son is younger so he feels like he can boss him around.
I'm sorry this is happening to you. I truly think if she values your friendship and your family she will listen to your concerns and start to correct her son's behavior. I hope it gets better for you!
Good Luck!
I agree with this too.
I think by going over there you are only letting the mom know she can let her son be the way he is and there are no consequences. I know what parenting a "difficult" child is like. My oldest on the spectrum. For her to give up and let him bully other kids and act anti-socially is not right. You need to protect your son. Especially b/c kids model behavior and/or bullying could have a lasting affect on him.
At this point I would be honest with C that the play dates are not working. Maybe she can drop her daughter off for an hour or keep her son in the living room quietly watching a video while you are there. Let her help with a solution but if she acts like it is no big deal than I would definitely find your daughter a new friend.
First, this is not a snark, but your first concern is the child who is NOT having a good time vs supporting the child who is. A good time can be had anywhere, but a consistant bad time means YOU are purposefully putting him in this position.
Second, you do not need to be confrontational. You can actually be a bit "sneaky" (for no better term).
Start offering up alternatives to going to her house. Choose outings that can help distract the brat, allow for your son to escape to other things, or (at the very least) give you the opportunity to step in when brat is doing something wrong (I will never parent in a friends home - but I sure enough will take control of kids in public places).
If that doesnt work, why not offer to take the 3 yo daughter for one-on-one time in your home. You can even offer it up as "help' for your friend.
Third, if that doesnt work, stop interacting with her. Seriously. You do not need to remain friends with people. How one parents is a really big personality indicator. If you do not mesh on this very basic level, then do you REALLY mesh in the rest of your relationship?
I do not suggest pulling the entire group with you, but why not start doing one-on-one playdates with the other moms on M, T, W, and F. If you are really worried about a backlash, alternate them.
But in the end, if she asks you what's up...be totally honest.