What would you do? (ques re boy names)

Fink · February 2012

My DH and I had a horribly difficult time coming up with names for our little man - we employed all of the techinques suggested on these boards and we finally came up up with a list of two names: Zane Christopher and Austin Christopher.

I LOVE Zane, but really like Austin a lot, whereas he really really likes both names a lot (equally). He agreed to use Zane though because (1) he felt I should break the tie, so to speak; (2) I agreed to raise our kids Catholic, even though I prefer that they not be raised with any religion; and (3) by his own admission, he will find a problem with any name I/we come up with.

But now I feel badly because I know he doesn't LOVE either name and I've read time and time again on the boards that people think both parents should love the name. So, would you scrap both names under the above circumstances?

TIA for your thoughts!

** Respectfully, I am not looking for opinions on the names - just whether you would go back to the drawing board under the above scenario.

Desmond&MollyJones · February 2012

I was the one that *loved* our son's name. H agreed to it. I'm not sure if he ever *loved* it. But he was perfectly happy/fine with it. And now that our son is 2, we cannot imagine him having any other name. I'm sure my H *loves* the name now, just because it is associated with our son and we love him very much. Make sense?

AlabamaMamma224 · February 2012

Personally, I wouldn't go bargaining away something as important as ones religious views to make a trade off on a name. I think that's odd.

Fink · February 2012

AlabamaMamma224:

Personally, I wouldn't go bargaining away something as important as ones religious views to make a trade off on a name. I think that's odd.

Thanks for your insight and apologies if my post suggested anything to the contrary, but I most certainly didn't bargain away anything. We discussed and I agreed (for my own reasons) to raise our children Catholic before we even got engaged. When discussing names, he simply pointed out how I had agreed to do that, so the least he could do was agree to the name I love - especially when he really liked it too.

Fink · February 2012

Desmond&MollyJones:
I was the one that *loved* our son's name. H agreed to it. I'm not sure if he ever *loved* it. But he was perfectly happy/fine with it. And now that our son is 2, we cannot imagine him having any other name. I'm sure my H *loves* the name now, just because it is associated with our son and we love him very much. Make sense?

It certainly does make sense and thanks - that makes me feel a lot better!

krissyh21 · February 2012

My husband and I both didn't love any name. We both have very different tastes when it comes to names. But we did find names we both liked. Sounds like you both found names you liked.

And when your little one is here and sporting the name, you will LOVE it.

I say go in with both names and see what you feel about them, but LOVE is a highly over-rated term when it comes to names. It is hard to have two people feel so strongly about one name.

alohamora · February 2012

I really doubt that my H loves any name. He just doesn't really care about names. My goal is just picking a name that we both like.

EastCoastBride · February 2012

Fink:

But now I feel badly because I know he doesn't LOVE either name and I've read time and time again on the boards that people think both parents should love the name. So, would you scrap both names under the above circumstances?

I hate, hate, hate this concept that you both have to "love" the name. I think it puts an unfair pressure on parents, as it's clearly doing to you.

If both parents happen to love a name, that's great for them. But choosing a name for your child is NOT an easy process and I simply believe that it's unrealistic to expect every couple to both "love" a name.

You're in a better spot than a lot of people I've seen on these boards- you have 2 names that you both actually like!

natalie_wn@yahoo.com · February 2012

Why do you HAVE to choose a name right now? Why not wait until baby arrives and see what name "suits" him more?

Fink · February 2012

natalie_wn@yahoo.com:
Why do you HAVE to choose a name right now? Why not wait until baby arrives and see what name "suits" him more?

We want to pick a name now. We don't believe in the concept that one name or another will "suit" him more when we see him.

Fink · February 2012

EastCoastBride:
Fink:

But now I feel badly because I know he doesn't LOVE either name and I've read time and time again on the boards that people think both parents should love the name. So, would you scrap both names under the above circumstances?

I hate, hate, hate this concept that you both have to "love" the name. I think it puts an unfair pressure on parents, as it's clearly doing to you.
If both parents happen to love a name, that's great for them. But choosing a name for your child is NOT an easy process and I simply believe that it's unrealistic to expect every couple to both "love" a name.

You're in a better spot than a lot of people I've seen on these boards- you have 2 names that you both actually like!

I hate that concept too! And you are right ... it has put a lot of pressure on us. Thanks for making me feel better :-)

ahappyrobot · February 2012

Go with Zane Christopher. You love it, DH really likes it... I don't see the problem. You have a name. Yay!

fish000 · February 2012

I think it's very hard to fall in LOVE with a name. I am still waiting for that moment where I just feel it's 'meant for my baby', charms-ringing feeling. I'm not sure that's going to come. As long as you don't feel like you are seriously compromising or only feel mediocre about the name. I'm hoping it comes to me when I lay eyes on my baby.

ObLaDi · February 2012

Is your husband the kind of guy who can love a name, and these two names just aren't doing it for him? Or is he the kind of guy who maxes out at liking?

If if's the former, it can't hurt to keep looking, just in case something comes up that you both love (although if it doesn't, I still agree with pp that you don't HAVE to both love it equally). If it's the latter, then I'd say you're done.

Fink · February 2012

ObLaDi:

Is your husband the kind of guy who can love a name, and these two names just aren't doing it for him? Or is he the kind of guy who maxes out at liking?

If if's the former, it can't hurt to keep looking, just in case something comes up that you both love (although if it doesn't, I still agree with pp that you don't HAVE to both love it equally). If it's the latter, then I'd say you're done.

He can love a name - unfortunately, every single names that he loves is far too popular/trendy and once I pointed out how popular/trendy they were, he didn't want to use them anymore either.

Since I wrote the OP, we've agreed the little guy's name will be Zane, unless we happen to stumble on to something better. But neither one of us "has to" keep looking - if that makes sense?

Thanks everyone for your input. It was most helpful!

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