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November 2011 Moms
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Let's talk about sex (TMI warning)

turtlewifeyturtlewifey member
in November 2011 Moms

So, DH and I finally tried it for the first time a few days ago and it was an utter failure.  We used tons of lube but it hurt so badly I cried and ended up bleeding.  Here is the TMI part (sorry for being graphic).  There wasn't more than 1/2 in of penetration or so.  

I had a vaginal delivery with a 2nd degree tear and things just haven't been the same down there since.  It still have minor pain sometimes when I sit on the toilet.  Anyone else have a similar experience? I am beginning to think I should call my doctor.  And I am now afraid of sex! UGH!

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Toddler Turtle - November 2011
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Re: Let's talk about sex (TMI warning)

  • MagrietMagriet
    I won't hurt to get checked out and make sure everything healed up well.  I tore pretty badly but it doesn't hurt at all anymore. My SIL had to go back and get 'fixed up' after birthing my niece.
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  • Liz1485Liz1485 member
    I also had tears and it still hurts sometimes for me too. I got really drunk the first time DH and I had sex, and everytime since then except once. It still hurts but it hurts less each time. We also use lots of lube. Were you on top or was he or doggy style, etc? Sorry way TMI question but my first time I was on top and it was horribly painful so the next couple of times I made DH be on top and it was better, then I tried being on top again and it was super painful again. I haven't tried anything else yet because we've only had sex like 4 times. So my advice is get drunk enough to not feel things as well (for me that's 2 glasses of wine and I can't feel a thing), lots of lube and make DH be on top and go really slow.  That's just hat worked for me. I'm still afraid of sex but once we start I get into it now. Good luck!
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  • skipperkellyskipperkelly
    I had quite a bit of tearing (2nd and 3rd degree) plus an episiotomy (lucky me!), and it was really painful the first few times we tried. As soon as we started I told him to stop. We kept trying and eventually it felt better. It still doesn't feel like it did before but I think with time things will get better. GL.
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  • rockonbeurselfrockonbeurself

    The same thing happened to me. I had a full episiotomy (front to back due to my LO's foot being breech and umbilical chord wrapped around his neck and foot twice) and we tried it once I was cleared. WORST PAIN EVER!!!

     

    I'm not 12 weeks PP and it's gotten more comfortable.

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  • J8CashJ8Cash member

    Sex still hurts for me too... it stinks! We have had sex once successfully. With tons of lube. My doc said that vaginal dryness is most likely the problem and that it can be a problem until I stop BF'ing. Lovely! She called me in some meds (like vagisil, you use the applicator and put it into the vagina) but it's only been 3 days and we haven't tried having sex since. I'm hoping by valentines day we will have success! 

    I would call your doc and go get looked at.. it can only help. Good luck! 

     

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  • dukestar5dukestar5 member

    I'm so sorry!  It definitely hurt a lot the first time back in the game, but as other Nov mamas said, it's hurt less and less each time.  It's still not back to feeling great, but we try to use lots of lube and take it slow.  GL!

     

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  • sccallasccalla
    I've been doing pelvic floor rehab and the physical therapist said sometimes scar tissue from tears during delivery can make sex really painful.  Your muscles down there could also be out of sorts.  I would call the doctor.
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  • HollyBerry25HollyBerry25

    imageskipperkelly:
    I had quite a bit of tearing (2nd and 3rd degree) plus an episiotomy (lucky me!), and it was really painful the first few times we tried. As soon as we started I told him to stop. We kept trying and eventually it felt better. It still doesn't feel like it did before but I think with time things will get better. GL.

     

    This, exactly, for me.  I really hope it gets better... :/

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  • angelina477angelina477 member
    I know everyone is different but I had a second degree tear as well and didnt experience any of that. I would just call. Did everything go ok on the pp check up?
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  • LJWilli04LJWilli04 member
    The first three times it was painful but as stated before it got better each time? I only had a slight tear on the inside that required two stitches. We waited until I was cleared at my six week checkup and then went for it. After the first time, since it hurt so bad, I felt around & noticed that the stitches had not actually dissolved fully. I was able to get them out with my fingernail and things got better quickly. It?s actually better now than it was before.

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  • Nwlywed07Nwlywed07 member

    No advice but I had a c-section and it was/is STILL painful! WTH!? Nothing even came out down there!

    Hopefully it will get better soon for you.

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  • oliviosisoliviosis member

    imageskipperkelly:
    I had quite a bit of tearing (2nd and 3rd degree) plus an episiotomy (lucky me!), and it was really painful the first few times we tried. As soon as we started I told him to stop. We kept trying and eventually it felt better. It still doesn't feel like it did before but I think with time things will get better. GL.

    Yep, same here!  It has gotten better but still different.

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  • lunatunatoolunatunatoo
    Whoever mentioned scarring I feel like that's my issue to. We have successfully done it once and every other time it hurts like a mother right at the very beginning and I make him stop. You could try getting drunk....or just have Saturday night frotaging. It's wonderful (and possibly spelled wrong). Hah
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  • StefB28StefB28 member

    Call the doc! If scar tissue is the problem, they'll probably prescribe an estrogen cream. It helps!

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  • jb2rnjb2rn member
    imageNwlywed07:

    No advice but I had a c-section and it was/is STILL painful! WTH!? Nothing even came out down there!

    Hopefully it will get better soon for you.

    This. I thought since I had a c section it would be no big deal. It was worse than being a virgin. Even with lots of lube! It gets better. We have done it 3 times I think and it's less painful but not great.
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  • KBBHKBBH
    GREAT!  Ha ha.  I had a c-section and I think I'm the last known person in the world to have sex with DH.  I still haven't had sex since LO.  DH is a saint.  I have the condoms and the KY - but I'm still scared.
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