Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Would this bother you about a Doula's profile?
I don't think it's that bad. You'll find many doulas had natural births because part of their job is to help women have the birth they want (and most of their clients are looking for a natural birth). And while it is not the reason I had a VBAC, many women want to VBAC because they feel like they "missed out" with a c/s or they didn't feel the sense of accomplshment they thought they would with a vaginal birth. I think this woman is just reflecting on how her choice of how to birth made her feel.
I'd suggest you interview her. Maybe it is rubbing you the wrong way but she didn't intend for it to have that effect. Or maybe she isn't someone you would get along with. But you don't know until you talk to her!
BFP 1/22/12 | Ectopic pregnancy found 2/14/12 | Methotrexate to complete m/c 2/15/12
LOL, not the grammar. I think it is that she specifically said "without a cesarean". I don't know why it got to me because if it had just said med-free or intervention free it wouldn't have mattered. I think I just expect a lack of understanding or even judgement from the natural birth community IRL. I was worried about it when I had to be interviewed to get into the birth center and when we started Bradley classes and it has not been an issue at all. Now that the last third of this pregnancy is here I've been worrying more, obsessing more, and I need to work it back out of my system.
Yeah, I think she's worth talking to. She may not communicate well through writing, and she may seem like a completely different person when you talk to her. GL!
BFP 1/22/12 | Ectopic pregnancy found 2/14/12 | Methotrexate to complete m/c 2/15/12
It would annoy me, I'll be honest. I don't think she meant anything malevolent about it, but it sounds clueless/tone deaf. But I think women who've had "easy" births can sometimes not think about how things they say can affect other women.
I would still interview her - you could always ask her about it (non-defensively, of course).
DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)
I'd interview her. I get why it bothered you but it could be nothing more than bad phrasing and she may not mean it as anything more than she had a natural (med free) vaginal birth.
Talk to her and see how she is in person, she may bother you or she could be great. If it comes down to a tie between the two of them then I'd probably pick the other one.
I've since spoken with both doulas and have interviews with each this weekend. Doula 1 (not the one w/ the profile) was a bit scattered on the phone but I could hear her 2 year old in the background so that is completely understandable. She followed up with a very professional email and the first sentence was "I'm so excited that you are planning a VBAC and it is great you are so informed".
I did speak with the Doula 2 and she seemed better on the phone than she did in writing. I asked her if any of her births had been VBACS and she said no but that she would look forward to helping someone acheive a VBAC and that she was really by inspired by one of her good friend's VBAC stories. So this was more reassuring.
Interviewing people is strange. I hire people at work and often you think someone is great on paper or on the phone and you just don't click or your second choice ends up being better than your first choice. So wish me luck. I'm hoping we click with one of these two so that we can finalize this important piece of our birth team. I think a key indicator will be how they react to my DD's birth story.
This. As a VBAC hopeful, it would bug me. But the doula I had at My VBAC was wonderful and she says some thiings that bug the sh!t out of me, like her views on circumcision and homeopathy. She was very supportive when I was preparing for my VBAC and when I was laboring. People can come across very differently in person than on the page. It may still be worth meeting her, unless you have a lot of other options you like better.
Yeah, I found it a bit annoying to. It was a little "in your face" that she "achieved" her births without an epidural or cesarean. First of all, it's a bit redundant. I hope you wouldn't have a cesarean without an epidural/spinal, etc. Second, it's almost like saying "I'm so good at birthing and I can do it the normal way!"
That being said, I'm sure she totally did not mean it that way and I'd give her a shot.
All of this. Nicely put MA
~Sweet Girl *8/18/08* c-section ~ Sweet Boy *12/2/10* VBAC ~ Sweet Boy *8/14/12* VBAC~
VBAC Birth Story 2VBAC Birth Story
I agree with this.
I will say that having a doula who had a VBAC herself was amazing. She totally knew the right things to do and say. I also chose a midwife who had a VBAC herself. It was awesome being surrounded by women who were VBACers.
That sounds like a great birth team. There is only one local doula who has had a VBAC and her prices are sky high. One of the 3 midwives at my center had a VBAC and left suddenly half way through my pregnancy. I'm very confident in the other midwives but it would be nice to not be the only woman in the room who has had the polar opposite of a intervention free birth.
FWIW the OB that did my c/s and told me I would never be able to deliver vaginally, was a VBAC mom herself. One of my friends tried to VBAC with her and she wasn't very supportive. OTOH, my VBAC was with a male doctor, so obviously he never had a VBAC or any kind of birth, and yet he was a huge supporter of VBAC.