The thing I don't understand...

PineApple85 · February 2012

tokenhoser:

I did it for the medal.

We try not to tell everyone about them, because they're so awesome the epi moms get jealous.

Awesome. Big Smile

RedRose87 · February 2012

tokenhoser:

I did it for the medal.

We try not to tell everyone about them, because they're so awesome the epi moms get jealous.

LMAO! I love it! Haha, seriously made me laugh!

mamaloves · February 2012

I'm glad the other ladies had the patience to respond to your LONG post. I think they did a great job and addressed many important points.

Based on your post, I'm afraid they wasted their intelligence, patience, and insight on you, but nonetheless what they wrote was valuable even if wasted on you.

And you're right, I do judge you. I also think your post is exremely judgmental and ignorant. It'd be fabulous if you stay off of this board.

BrideNamedMeg · February 2012

I had to respond to this quote in particular:

"Not wanting to be rude, but the majority of women use it, so there must be something to it"

Before I decided on my homebirth, I read this on a friend's FB page and it really struck me: "When you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to stop and reconsider." Mark Twain

I've had two completely med free births, one at the hospital and one at home. Both were amazing, empowering, life changing experiences and I wouldn't trade either of them for the world and certainly not for an epi.

overtonhayes · February 2012

I apologise, I really do.

I want to thank you all for being so wonderful, and so objective. I've clearly (unintentionally!) offended a lot of people here, yet everyone has kept it nice and polite. I really was never trying to judge anybody or make anyone change their minds. I felt very stuck as to where to post this. I knew that posting here may make it seem like a direct attack on women who choose little to no pain-relieving-drugs, but I also knew that this was where I would find women who were educated in the subject, and had already made up their minds. What I really didn't want to do was scare women who were nearer-to-term and considering going intervention-free, so I figured I'd approach women who were that much more 'set' on their beliefs or had experienced it before. Anyway, I'm not trying to make excuses, just explain, because I don't want anyone thinking that I was trying to attack them.

I read over my post again and I'm cringing at parts of it. I have a habit of not expressing myself clearly, and offending everyone I set out to NOT offend.

I was incredibly insensitive talking about how I feel judged, I'm sorry. Thank you all for pointing out that it's not the women who use pain-relieving drugs that those blogs I read were judging, but the women who don't make educated choices. That's what I'm trying to avoid myself, but at this point I don't know enough about the US medical system and the drugs offered or what to expect or what alternatives there are.

There have been too many helpful replies to name names, but:
You've all made a good point about the difference between pain our bodies have coping mechanisms for (birth) and pain they don't (amputation). I have to confess I've never thought of it that way, I've always just thought that pain is pain and that's that.

As some of you have guessed, I am pretty scared of the birth, and I feel torn between two choices. I would really love to have my baby in my own home, but at the same time one of my biggest fears is not being able to have pain relief if I want it at the time. I've seen too many hospital dramas where a woman misses the 'time frame' for an epidural and is left in agony. Of course, I know it wouldn't make good tv if she missed the epidural and birthed her baby with a big smile on her face, but it's still a thought that scares me (not missing the epidural, specifically, but just not even having the option of medicated pain relief).

Basically, I have no idea what to do with my birth, and I am trying to educate myself (as a PP pointed out, I have a looong way to go before my DD). I know that I want to go intervention-free for as long as possible, and I didn't even think about doctors pressuring you to use medication until after reading your posts.

Thank you all for being so objective when I clearly failed at doing the same, and for your insight into why certain medications are bad. I knew that it couldn't be a case of "there are no unwanted side effects to pain medication, I just don't want it), but without knowing even which medications are routinely administered in labour I had no idea where to start with research there.

@!** person than have someone who's now not only offended, but feeling like they can't tell me where I can stick it.

Again, thank you, and again, I'm sorry.

overtonhayes · February 2012

One last thing I forgot to mention: it is comforting to know that I'm not the only one who doesn't like the terminology "natural birth". I mean, just the term really makes me feel like I'm inferior or 'not natural' if I accept pain-relieving drugs. Of course I'm not saying that that's your fault, ladies: I know you didn't come up with the term and I know that's not what you're thinking. But I can't help but feel like having to answer "did you have a natural birth?" with "no, no I didn't" is a bit unfair!

Also, thank you SO MUCH for pointing out that going drug-free can help with breastfeeding. I am 100% certain that I want to breast feed, and anything that helps that process can only be a plus.

flyer23 · February 2012

For the record, I wasn't offended at all by your OP. I HOPE you stay here on this board. I love talking to people like you, who are considering med-free birth but aren't convinced it's right for you, and are asking great questions to help you make that decision. And for the record, I hate the "natural birth" name too Smile

To address this:

overtonhayes:

As some of you have guessed, I am pretty scared of the birth, and I feel torn between two choices. I would really love to have my baby in my own home, but at the same time one of my biggest fears is not being able to have pain relief if I want it at the time. I've seen too many hospital dramas where a woman misses the 'time frame' for an epidural and is left in agony. Of course, I know it wouldn't make good tv if she missed the epidural and birthed her baby with a big smile on her face, but it's still a thought that scares me (not missing the epidural, specifically, but just not even having the option of medicated pain relief).

First of all... understand that there is basically nothing about birth in hospital dramas that is realistic Smile Starting from the fact that labor always begins with the mom's water breaking (which happens in only about 10% of real labors) and ending with the "newborn" being about the size of a six-month-old.

Anyway, choosing homebirth doesn't mean that an epidural isn't an option. It's just not an option at home. But hospital transfer is always an option. About half of my homebirth midwife's hospital transfers are for pain relief.

That's not to say that it's a common choice for homebirthers. My midwife's overall transfer rate is about 3%, so you're talking about around 1.5% of women who choose to transfer to get an epidural. Because really, for most women, in the comfort of their own home, with a supportive midwife, having prepared for med-free birth -- an epidural is not needed.

But if your fear is that the door will be completely shut if you ARE in that 1.5% who is absolutely miserable without an epidural, know that it is possible. It's just not a button-push away like it would be in a hospital. For better or for worse, probably for better Wink

Want a personalized experience?

The thing I don't understand...

Re: The thing I don't understand...

Choose Another Board

Search Boards