Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: 7 weeks no heartbeat detected. possible misdiagnosed miscarriage?
It is a possibility you aren't as far along as you think. Bloodwork should be able to show what's going on after 2-3 sets are done. Hang in there!
Can you get into your dr sooner? My OB would never make me wait until Monday to do the blood work. When I had an ectopic in Sept, they did blood work that night and then repeated it the next day. I'd call back and see if you can get in for that tomorrow so that you can know something before the weekend. You could definitely be earlier than you think, though I will say that a fetal pole should be detectable by now. We saw a blob at 5 weeks this time and there was a heartbeat. I honestly think your best bet is to get into the dr sooner, get that blood work done, and get the answers you need. There are options other than a D&C (a methotrexate shot), so keep that in mind. Hugs to you-it's hard to play the waiting game! Hopefully you are just early and there will be a heartbeat soon!
Just curious-did they do the transvaginal ultrasound?
Thanks for the responses everyone! I actually went for my first round of blood work today I guess to measure my levels and I have to go back on Friday or Saturday for them to test them again. My hopes aren't extremely high, I know a heartbeat should be detected, especially because they did all the scans and ultrasounds they can do. But still, waiting around is making me nervous.
Doe's anyone know the risks of a D & C? Is it better to get one or just wait to miscarry naturally?
An abdonial ultrasound isn't always the best at detecting a heart beat. Trasvaginal is a better option for early heart beats. We go next Wednesday for our first ultrasound. I should be just at the 7wk mark then.
I'm not sure, you think they would have considering how irregular my period is, I stressed to them I was really unsure of the date of my last period. I've never had normal 28 day cycles in my life. I've yet to speak with my actual doctor regarding the issue, she's sending me for blood work and will most likely call tomorrow, I just needed some support or opinions tonight though because the waiting game is awful.
Thanks to everyone who answered! I really do appreciate it
You still haven't told us if they measured the baby at 7w. If they did all the u/s they can, they should be able to tell you what your baby is measuring in weeks. If you don't have regular periods, its definitely possible you could have O'd later in your cycle. If you got your BFP 3 weeks ago you could have still been very early on. Like other girls said, the HB starts around the 6w so I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that you now need to consider a D&C. From everything you said, you don't have all the information from your doctor.
I know the waiting game seems impossible but please try and relax and know today you are pregnant. It'll be best to talk to your DR about everything before diagnosing yourself with a m/c.
ANDPLUSALSO, I love your wedding dress! I *almost* bought that one! Seeing you in it, makes me want to do it all over again... well almost.
Harper Grace 08.31.12 Sibling Expected 08.30.15
Aug 2015 - January Siggy Challenge - Fav mean girl from TV/Film
Ellie from CougarTown
I'm sorry you're going through this. If you have showed progress from last weeks ultrasound to this weeks, I would push for one more ultrasound to confirm. You never know, you may see a heartbeat next week-maybe your dates are off.
As far as m/c's go, I've had 2-one natural and one d&c. I preferred the d&c route. It was quick & easy and less traumatic for me.
If I'm understanding your post correctly you had an abdominal u/s in your doctors office and they didn't detect a heart beat. You went the next day for a vaginal ultrasound and they could clearly see the baby, but no heart beat. First, I want to say that if you feel like you need to wait and get one more ultrasound to be certain then you should absolutely do that. Especially before doing a D&C. YOU should be confident (not just your doctor) that the procedure is necessary before you agree to it. With that said, if you could clearly see a baby on a vaginal ultrasound, you should be able to see a heartbeat as well. I'm so sorry that you're going through this. The best of luck to you.