does pregnancy really ruin your body? — The Bump
2nd Trimester

does pregnancy really ruin your body?

I have a friend and her boyfriend wants her to only adopt. Not because it's the nice thing to do but because he doesn't want her ruining her body! That really made me angry. Does pregnancy really ruin your body that much? I've seen many women that have had babies and when they exercise and eat right their bodies look fantastic. I guess I'm venting because that is so rude of a man to say and how can he actually be in love with her and say that. I'm also wondering is it really impossible to get your body back?

Re: does pregnancy really ruin your body?

  • There's a  circulating photo on facebook. It says, your body isn't ruined, you're a tiger that earned your stripes.

    My point is, your body maybe different but any mother would tell you the change is worth it over and over.  Your friend's boyfriend sounds like a pig and I hope she can figure that out now rather than later when and if they do adopt or have kids together. 

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  • It may or may not ruin your swimsuit modeling career. Really depends on the genetics of stretch marks. It may leave you with extra skin and a small pooch, again depending on genetics but also your fitness and nutrition.

    Is your body ruined? ummm... I think she needs to find a new boyfriend who sincerely appreciates the the incredible work her body will do when carrying and giving birth to a new life. My DH says my stretchmarks are part of how he got his son and wouldn't trade them for the world. And no, I'm not going to be parading in a bikini anymore, EVER..... sigh.... My life is forever ruined.

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  • I think if you have a vaginal  delivery you could likely not "ruin" your body.  I didn't get any stretchmarks and got back to my totally normal body, but now I have a really gross c-section scar so I do feel a bit "ruined."  Ruined, but worth it that is. 
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  • Wow! What a jerk! Men can sometimes say the stupidest things....and like you, I have seen plenty of women (not just the famous ones) who look AMAZING after exercising and eating right. I have also seen some women who I can't even tell they had a baby!  So jealous :-)
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  • I think she is with the wrong guy. When I met my husband I already had a child from my ex-husband. He loved my body, we had our own son and now I am pregnant with our daughter. I have always been thin/petite but I have bad stretch marks. My husband absolutely adores my body and frankly so do I. I got my body back fast after having my son because I breastfed. I was back to my pre-pregnancy weight by 3 months wearing a sz 2. So YES, you can get your body back!

    She needs to find herself a good man... he is every father's nightmare...

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  • She needs to dump that jerk.

     From what I'm told from women who have had children- if you have a vaginal delivery "sex will never be the same again".  But it was never said to me like "yep you're body sucks and it's totally not worth it".

  • Yeah, not the guy I would choose to marry. Pregnancy did not ruin my body. It changed it, sure, but that is a normal, healthy, beautiful part of life. Did I get stretch marks--yes. I honestly don't understand why people think they are ugly. They are an amazing remnant of a hug blessing--a baby that grew large and healthy. Was my stomach as flat? No--again, that is not something that I find problematic. I find beauty in confidence and the journey that a person has been through. I am glad that my husband feels the same way.

    I suffered a rare complication with my pregnancy that left me in excruciating back and pelvic pain. I was in PT until DS was 9 months. It made walking, sitting, doing chores, carrying baby, etc. hard. Maybe that could be called "ruining a body" but thank goodness my DH has only ever thanked me for the amazing blessing my body gave to our family, even though the physical ability cost was so high.

    I would run, run, run from a man who put so much emphasis on physical "perfection" because life happens and physical changes happen (strokes, burns, disease, amputations, disabling/disfiguring accidents, thyroid issues, normal aging, etc.)

  • WOW!  That makes me feel so lucky to have my hubby!  He thinks it's cool to see my belly looking rounder and when he comes home from working evenings, he says goodnight to me and then rubs my belly too.  I just assume that it won't be exactly the same but so many women look great after they have kids...some look even better than before.    What a jerk!

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  • Yes, it's very upsetting and I want to help her to see that it's not right but I don't want to be rude. She actually thinks it's funny. He is a millionare and is 26 years her senior so I would be concerned if I were her. I'm lucky if I even complain about my weight my fiance tells me never to complain and that I'm pregnant and having a healthy pregnancy is the most important thing. He also says he's not concerned in the slightest that I won't get my body back.
  • He's a jerk.  Age ruins your body, drinking, smoking, eating unhealthily ruins your body.  Having a baby CHANGES your body...but you can have a nice body even after kids.  People like that irritate the poo out of me.
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  • I think your friend's boyfriend sounds like an immature jacka$$. 

    But, I will answer the question. It certainly didn't ruin mine. I never got any stretch marks and I got back to my pre-pregnancy weight quickly after my son's birth.  I gained 25 lbs with him, and ate healthy food and drank a lot of water and walked and exercised throughout my pregnancy.

    Although, even if you do everything "right", you may get stretch marks (they're genetic) and you may have issues losing weight due to thyroid issues, etc.  I was lucky that I didn't have any issues, but even if pregnancy left its mark, so be it.  I don't value my worth by my looks.  

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  • That's how my fiance is too. I guess I should try not to take him for granted :-)
  • Your friend needs higher standards and a different boyfriend.

    There are lots of ways (including diet and exercise, and sometimes cosmetic surgery) to "repair" your body after having a baby.

    But there's not a lot you can do to repair a guy who is so shallow and vanity-obsessed. 

    Besides... what's most likely to happen (if she sticks with the guy) is that she adopts, gets older, her body naturally changes anyway, and he ends up leaving her for a younger woman who doesn't have a "ruined body" from pregnancy, age, etc. And then she'll be left with a broken heart, which is much harder to repair.

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  • What a jerk. Pregnancy doesn't "ruin" your body. But it will change. I think my boys are totally worth the change though.
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  • It's really nice that your friend's BF loves her for who she is...what a jack ass.
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  • imagejelina:

    It may or may not ruin your swimsuit modeling career. Really depends on the genetics of stretch marks. It may leave you with extra skin and a small pooch, again depending on genetics but also your fitness and nutrition.

    Is your body ruined? ummm... I think she needs to find a new boyfriend who sincerely appreciates the the incredible work her body will do when carrying and giving birth to a new life. My DH says my stretchmarks are part of how he got his son and wouldn't trade them for the world. And no, I'm not going to be parading in a bikini anymore, EVER..... sigh.... My life is forever ruined.

    I agree with you, my body isn't the same after having my son. It looks similar, I didn't get stretch marks on my stomach but did from my butt to my calves. I still wore a bikini after I had him.  We will have to see what this pregnancy does to my body.  BUT My husband finds me sexy no matter what, he was there watched my son come out, and never once felt different about me.  Other than sincere pride! 

    And NEWS flash, age is worse on your body than child baring.  Let's be honest, we will all get old and wrinkly, ALL of us.  It's part of life, and the best you can do is embrace it, and try to be the best you can. 

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  • Ridiculous.

    Honestly, my body was better than ever after having my son (after a little time, of course). Yes, I have a scar from my c-section but I do not consider that 'ruined.' I consider it a mark of the best day of my life.

    WEBONLY_NOPRINT_DSC_1509-2-2236294072-O
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  • I won't say it does physically, but I had medical problems that resurfaced or started up after being pregnant with my first.  Between migranes, acid reflux, arthritis and my rapidly decaying teeth I was a mess.  Physically though I looked fine.  Just my 2 cents though.  :)
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  • She needs to find a new boyfriend.  NOW.  What a jackass.
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  • Hahaha, that guy sounds like a real special catch. 

    Yes, pregnancy changes your body, and sometimes in surprising ways. But does is ruin it?! I suppose you'd think so only if you're an image obsessed d-bag like this guy sounds. As a result of my 2 previous pregnancies, I have a tummy full of stretch marks (even when faded are still obvious), puckered and loose belly skin (as a result of the big belly and the stretch marks), stretch marks on my thighs, boobs that are less full and a little lower than before, and a prolapsed bladder. But I'm still in good shape, was never prone to showing off my belly, invest in bras that give me some more lift and shape, and am still fully functioning and beautiful. Best of all, I have 2 healthy beautiful kids. And my DH still loves me in spite of/because of these things. 

    FWIW, I know many women who are still super hot after having babies.

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  • imagetheabbey5:
    He's a jerk.  Age ruins your body, drinking, smoking, eating unhealthily ruins your body.  Having a baby CHANGES your body...but you can have a nice body even after kids.  People like that irritate the poo out of me.

     

    ^ This. People are quick to say pregnancy and birth ruin your body but do those people eat healthy? go to the gym every day? Not smoke, drink, take drugs, etc?

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    Eleanor Gwendolyn
  • He's a jerk and stupid.

    Pregnancy definitely changes your body but not always for the bad. I'd even venture to say there are more things my husband loves about pregnancy changes than doesn't love.

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  • imagechipmunk112511:

    imageericamanuela:
    Yes, it's very upsetting and I want to help her to see that it's not right but I don't want to be rude. She actually thinks it's funny. He is a millionare and is 26 years her senior so I would be concerned if I were her. I'm lucky if I even complain about my weight my fiance tells me never to complain and that I'm pregnant and having a healthy pregnancy is the most important thing. He also says he's not concerned in the slightest that I won't get my body back.

     

    Ok so 2 things there that dont make sense

    1. If he's a millionaire, then he can afford to "fix" whatever comes up with her body after she has a baby

    2. If he is 26 years her senior his body is going to go downhill WAY more from age then hers will from having a baby.

    I am all for adopting as there are so many children in THIS country that dont have good homes, but for him to say it would "ruin" her body is just disgusting!

    Right, he totally can afford to fix anything. I'm all for adoption too, I was adopted from Romania but to adopt for vanity reasons only is so wrong.

  • First of all I would tell your friends that she should be more worried about what dating such a pig is going to do to her confidence and self worth as a woman more than what having a baby will do to her body!  And what kind of affect having a father that is so shallow will have on her future children wether biological or adopted.  I know plenty of women who have had children who "got their body back" and some that look even better!  But all will tell you what ever sacrifice their figure made or stretch marks they gained it was worth it!  My husband thinks the life we are creating is beautiful and that the changes my body is going through are beautiful because of what those changes mean.  I plan to be active  and live a healthy life-style after LO arrives so that I can set an example for him and be around to enjoy our family... and if I get my body back it's icing on the cake.  Regardless of your friend's boyfriends age, he sound immature and superficial.  And if he is that much older is your friend worried about how he'll be able to keep up with an active family with his aging body?! 
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  • Yeah, wow. I would be so mad if I were your friend. My husband thinks my baby body is adorable all chubby! I cannot imagine being with someone who was that concerned with what I look like, especially from giving birth to OUR child! I would hope my husband would never think a thing of any extra fat or stretch marks I have left over after child birth.

     

    With that said, pregnancy can leave its marks, but with diet and excersize you can get your body back.

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  • i woudlnt say it "ruined my body". I look different, not "as good" as i could be but thats more from my own fault of not eating right and exercising as i should. I do have stretch marks that you cant really see unless your trying to find them.

    Ruined my body? no. Make my body different? Absolutely. and its worth every stretch mark to have kids.

    My husband loves my body, even after two kids. Hes in love with ME. and everything that i entail.

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  • I really hope C-Mo doesnt mind that I am posting this thread but I was truely inspired by her courage. I may not have an a$$ of a boyfriend telling me he doesn't want my body ruined, but I was worried for myself. This thread changed my mind, I don't care how many scars or stretchmarks I get... I will be proud either way :)

     *https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/62463009.aspx*

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  • I didn't eat very healthy while pregnant with my son and gained 60lbs. Totally not recommending that and won't do it again.  But I lost all of the weight very quickly and felt that I looked better that ever about 4 months after pregnancy.  I had a vaginal delivery and although a few days after I remember thinking, "wow, it will never be the same"  everything is back to normal with no difference.

    That being said, her boyfriend sounds like someone who isn't mature enough to have a baby it that's his attitude toward pregnancy. 

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  • imagestephaniemthomas:
    I know many women of different sizes and ages who have gotten back to their pre-pregnancy weight.  My mom was a size 0 and always got right back down after having kids, even after gaining 50 pounds while pregnant with me!  I also know women who couldn't lose all the weight after having a baby.  Not one single one of them regrets it one bit.  No offense, but it sounds like if your friend is willing to put up with this guy and be his "arm candy" then she'd probably be willing to go along with whatever he thinks. 

     

    Totally off topic .. do you have a shiba fur baby?!!!  

  • My sister was a model pre-pregnancy. She was aboyt 5'7 and 118 pounds. During her pregnancy she gained 80 POUNDS!

    Get this- 9 months later she weighed 115. All she did was walk, drink water and watched what she ate. She looks better now than she did before.

     Hopefully she and I have the same super genes. Her body is slightly different, she actually has hips now...but they look great on her.

    I am only 5'4 and a more athletic build- but I plan on "watching it" after my kid is born.

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  • Damn I had stretch marks before I even got pregnant, guess I have been ruined since puberty. That is awful, did he say this in front of you??
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