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Talk to me, moms - or moms to be :)
I'm trying to make the most out of this time and enjoy any freedom that I have before the baby comes. Having said that, I can't get it off my mind and am very excited to have a LO soon but I am getting a little nervous. For some reason, I'm not super scared of the actual labor and delivery but more about coming home, the changes between DH and me, etc.
What advice do you guys have for getting through the beginning? DH will be off for two weeks and after that my sister will be staying with me. MIL is going to come stay with us whenever we tell her we're ready so I'll have some help when DH is at work.
I'm open to any kind of tips, tricks, advice, whatever about labor, delivery, bringing baby home, etc. TIA!
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Re: Talk to me, moms - or moms to be :)
I logged on today to see if you had posted any updates! The best advice we got was that when someone asks what they can do (friends, neighbors, coworkers), give them something. Our neighbors were lifesavers because they would always text when they were headed to Target or the grocery store, and we could hand them a short list and our credit card. Don't hesitate to accept meals from people.
I was really anxious about having people come over and felt like it was too overwhelming, but it was lovely once I started asking people to stop and pick something up or to hold her while I showered. I even would take the dog on a short walk while a friend was visiting just to get out of the house and be by myself for a minute (but would of course check my phone every 3 minutes to make sure I hadn't missed a call!).
Oh - and don't check your work email
For us, we preferred having time alone to bond with baby to having house guests with H. Sure people stopped by and we had visitors, but we wanted to learn how to live with the baby, care for him etc w/out someone inadvertently making us second guess ourselves.
We are likely in the minority, but we didn't have overnight visitors for a month after he was born. Then we truly appreciated them and I felt comfortable taking naps while mil loved on the baby if he was awake
I was also back to 'normal' enough to take walks with everyone and that was really nice.
We didn't have anyone come either time for the first two weeks while DH was off work for the very same reason. Once he went back to work, we had people come stay to help.
To the OP, there's a LOT of advice and such to give, but one of the biggest ones for me was the whole "sleep when the baby sleeps" adage was a load of crap. It just stressed me out to know "omg, I should be sleeping right NOW!", and on the off chance I actually did try to take a nap, the baby would wake up too soon and I'd be groggy and grumpy. It was awful. I felt like it was just another responsibility I had to try to keep up with. I felt a million times better when I started using that time for some ME time instead--showering, reading, getting on the computer, or even just sitting there in silence. Those activities were much more rejuvenating for me than trying to force myself to take cat naps on a newborn's schedule.
GL! It's quite an adjustment and a wild ride, but you'll make it and realize one day that you're happier than you've ever been. :-)
One of the things I found most challenging was that I didn't feel like myself anymore. After a few days in the hospital & then feeling a little cooped up once we got home, I felt so disconnected from my "before" life. So, it was important to me to do what I could to get out of the house & work to integrate DS into my normal life. We had lots of trips to Target, drives to Sonic, etc in the early days.
Make sure you have a lot of mindless tv available to watch! When I was nursing, or just holding DS, or even while he was sleeping, I just didn't have the energy to watch anything that was too involved. Granted, I had a lot of anxiety the first few weeks, and that contributed to not being able to focus.
And lastly, I guess - don't try to do it all yourself! Good luck !
this. give people tasks if they're coming to visit. inevitably, you'll forget *something* tiny but essential and having someone stop by target on their way over to pick it up will be super helpful.
same thing while you're at the hospital. make sure someone has a key to your house to pick up any missing items for comfort. we had my siblings bring softer towels, another blanket (it's cold in there!), food (wasn't impressed with hospital food) and drinks, and my hoodie jacket.
-remember that it does get easier, and you will eventually get some sleep
-hire a maid
-say "yes" when people offer to help
-get help/take meds if you think you have PPD
-try not to be too hard on yourself... take it easy... it's all a learning process and it's not a competition (if you have trouble BFing and have to FF, it's ok; if you need some sleep instead of cleaning the kitchen, it's ok; if you were set on a med-free delivery, but you ended up having a C-section, it's ok; etc.)
-get out of the house with the baby (or without, if you have that option)! even if you just sit outside for a while.
Ditto all of this, especially the bolded part. I'm not going to lie, BFing is hard, so get all the help that you can.
And I also want to add to make sure you let DH do just as much as you do.