A little distasteful, don't you think?

amd1982 · January 2012

Let me begin by saying I'm totally over this, and I know people act stupid when they're drunk, so it's definitely not something I'm losing sleep over. But I feel the need to share since I can't mention to DH, he'll just think I'm being bitchy.

We went to upstate NY with friends over the weekend to stay at a friend's uncle's cabin.The friend and her H (who is friends with my DH) carpooled with us. She and H know of our struggles and know that we had a "procedure" done a week ago to help us conceive. She proceeds to tell me how she took 2 HPTs since she was late and thought she was pg, but thankfully they were negative. Now they just got married in November so I understand, they want their time to enjoy marriage. Her saying that was no big deal at all, I laughed and we moved on. We then get to the cabin and meet the rest of the group - at dinner she brings it up in this biiiiig, dramatic fashion (totally long drawn out story) and brings it up like 7-8 times over the course of the weekend (obviously as the drinks are increasing) saying she would have died if she had been pg. Then at one point she looks at me and says "don't you think me and DH will make gorgeous babies once I do get pg?" Ummm, yes - say that to a woman who would donate a boob right now to have a child. I just sort of looked at her with this dumb face on and shook my head. Again, I am not trying to be sensitive and I'm already past it since I know she was drunk. But I just thought it was in poor taste to continously bring up accidentally getting pregnant, even though you're married and in a financially great position, to someone who she knows is having a really hard time. I almost felt like she was rubbing in my face that she's fertile and I'm not.

Rant over - thanks for listening. Obviously my AF symptoms are setting in (post IUI) as I am becoming a totaly b*tch

mizzougal08 · January 2012

I'm sorry that she was so insensitive. People that don't have IF will never get it - drunk or not. Hang in there. I would have been upset too. I don't think you're being a b!tch at all.

BlueEyeZ1981 · January 2012

I'm sorry you had to suffer through that. People can be so rude sometimes.

I would have started acting really drunk and when she brought it up called her out on it. Then if she took offense to it I could say oh I'm sorry I was really drunk, even if I wasn't drunk at all.

biomaj5 · January 2012

That would really irritate me too, regardless of whether or not she was drunk. I had a coworker that I foolishly confided in before I was aware of her douche status. I can't count how many times she told me that if was more in tune with my body, I would know when I O'd like she did and how it only took her having sex one time to get KU. Thankfully she doesn't work in our dept any more, but that was a nice little lesson in "don't confide in anyone until you're really sure you know them."

Clearly I still want to punch her lol.

AndreaT22611 · January 2012

Sorry to heat that. I feel your pain. Fertile people don't always have the best judgement when it comes to choosing their words! ...One of my sister-in-laws had her tubes tied after her 2 kids and she's only 24. She said she didn't want to have anymore kids (her first one was an "oops" before marriage). She was able to conceive her second one so easily too. I hate how she acts like she's so fertile that she has to have her tubes tied to prevent further pregnancies. I would love to be as fertile as her! So frustrating!

juls052309 · January 2012

How awful and insensitive!! Good for you for being the bigger person and just ignoring her!!

buckeyebaby814 · January 2012

I would have been bothered too. Sounds like she was phishing for people to tell her they should start trying.

maggie2324 · January 2012

Do you know that she is fertile? Yes, most likely she is, but she or her H may have issues they don't know about too. Especially if they are going to wait several years before TTC.

I agree though that it was in poor taste... Pre-TTCers view the world differently and don't understand that their comments can be hurtful.

angandvance · February 2012

I feel so badly for you! People are jerks sometimes. End of story. You just gotta roll with it sometimes...even if that means fighting back verbally. It took me having a meltdown at a restaurant for my mom to FINALLY understand that we can't all be as fertile as she is/was. Sometimes people have good intentions, but after being told to "relax" for the millionth time, I stopped taking it from people. I'm not rude, (except when I blew up at my mom that time) but I do put people in their place. Infertility is NOT a death sentence, but to those of us who struggle with it, it FEELS that way. Other people need to get educated about it, and they won't unless WE stand up for ourselves and let people know it's a cause to be aware of.

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