people leaving M/C board

Heather R · November 2008

So many of them are leaving it because they can't take what's been happening there. Sad

That is such a shame.

Daisy77 · November 2008

Do I dare ask? I'm just bored and thinking about food (4 wisdom teeth out yesterday). Entertain me

1MusicMaker · November 2008

Leaving because they are defending that picture? Or leaving because of having to look at the picture?

babygroves · November 2008

A girl m/c at 15 weeks. took a pic of it and posted it.

Heather R · November 2008

No, leaving because of the continued fighting-- it's ruining the supportive environment they feel they need. Very sad.

The poster has been banned.

CopenB · November 2008

That is crazy about the picture....wow

amajane · November 2008

I had a feeling once I saw her pic that it would cause some chaos. No one is right or wrong in their beliefs. But she refused to take it down and other posters (mostly trolls) refused to stop bashing her for it.

It is a shame.?

lanie26 · November 2008

I don't blame people for leaving.

B* · November 2008

That is sad. WOW! I heard about that drama. I don't know if I would post that pic but I think it helps some people grieve. My cousin lost her baby at 35 weeks and posted pics on her myspace page. I was a little wigged out by it but I can't judge. I can't imagine going through something like that...Those pics help her with her loss. It's a shame though about the M/C board!

lanie26 · November 2008

Oh I don't believe it was only trolls. Many people complained and reported it in a rational calm and appropriate way.They were met with ignorant comments and accusations.

I think the nest tried, and failed to get through to the poster with the photo.

It goes far deeper than just a photo and isn't as easy was we think.

TheSkimmy · November 2008

I've had 2 m/c and that is why I never went onto that board... what one person thinks is helping them get through it just sets the next person back. That picture bothered me.

lanie26 · November 2008

I'm sure people will excuse it was a "way to grieve' but I don't buy that. I think it is a cry for help. I've said this before. You can't see your own siggies when you post. Your signatures are about what you want others to see. And when others tell you over and over that your images hurt them, that the images you post hurt them deeply and cause them significant pain, and grief, then you need to remove it.

wife1014 · November 2008

I M/C over two weeks ago and used the board as a support. Noone knew I was PG on my local nest board and I didn't mention it here either (my sister is a nestie as well and we decided we weren't telling family until after the first ultrasound) Anyway, I used that board a lot. Yes, the picture was a bit sad to me, but I would just scroll real quick. It was her baby and that was OK I guess. The issue there, is the way it was handled and the fighting just keeps going. It is almost mean now and quite immature if you ask. You know, we are all used to the snarkiness, but some of this is downright mean and alot are from people who were never on that board to begin with...kind of sad. Where it was a place I could chat, ask questions and even cry, it is now this... Oh well

IckyThump · November 2008

lanie26:

I'm sure people will excuse it was a "way to grieve' but I don't buy that. I think it is a cry for help. I've said this before. You can't see your own siggies when you post. Your signatures are about what you want others to see. And when others tell you over and over that your images hurt them, that the images you post hurt them deeply and cause them significant pain, and grief, then you need to remove it.

I couldn't agree more. She could have framed the photo and put it right next to her computer. Why did she feel the need to post it in her sig? If one person came to me and rationally said, "Hey, your siggy pic really disturbs me and brings up some things I really can't deal with right now", I would feel awful and would remove it immediately. I think most people in that situation would do the same.

1MusicMaker · November 2008

Also, I don't think this person has any respect for others' wishes at all. Apparently, she posted the following message:

Subject: THis is GenesisStar

i just wanted to say that i have been lurking. and i seen your post about if they deleted me or not. And the answer is yes they did and i am pissed about it. they told me to take the pic down and i said no so they took it down and i put it right back up and right after i put it up the deleted me. but after the 3day no posting period is up i will be back posting. and i want to thank u for your support. if u want to let the other ladies know what happened i dont mind if u tell them.

lanie26 · November 2008

Yeah I'm not sure what I find more disturbing, the photo or the appalling grammar and over use of the 'u' as 'you' thing.

Just awful all around. You were asked to take something down because it was hurting others. You didn't. So, bye bye!

franciscaz · November 2008

Wow that is a total SHAME! Gosh I wish people would have just left those ladies alone... how dare everyone get in there and start judging!

wife1014 · November 2008

like I said, what started as a picture issue turned into just pure mean. It even all began with someone who seemed to be lurking there in the first place. I do agree that if I were her, I would have removed the picture, if for no other reason than to avoid the backlash. And, as I said, the board which once was a support baord is now a snarky, mean nest board...that is the sad part.

WannaBMommy81 · November 2008

I was on that board and then success after a loss back when the m/c board first started. It used to be a great place for support. Back then someone had a picture of their stillborn baby but asked everyone if it bothered them and offered to take it down. Back then there was only a small group of us on the board and no one made a big deal out of it.

7/04Bride · November 2008

I agree that people need to grieve in whatever way works for them, but if you're offending others in the way you're choosing to grieve, then you should find another way to grieve in their presence. It's sad that a board that is meant to be supportive has changed.

lanie26 · November 2008

I think too many people are pointing fingers in the wrong direction. If anyone is responsible for the downfall of that board it is the person who refuses to understand how her siggy could be seen as hurtful.

Trolls are lame but we're talking about legitimate complaints here/ all of which she's met with ''u dont know me u sucks"

Come on.

floridahoya · November 2008

lanie26:
I think too many people are pointing fingers in the wrong direction. If anyone is responsible for the downfall of that board it is the person who refuses to understand how her siggy could be seen as hurtful.
Trolls are lame but we're talking about legitimate complaints here/ all of which she's met with ''u dont know me u sucks"?
Come on.?

i agree - especially given there had been a similar situation before where someone posted a similar picture and asked if it offended anyone. such a different ending to that story.?

ougrad1 · November 2008

I don't recall seeing most of you on the mentioned boards regularly so, to be such an authority on the subject puzzles me.

Toosdai · November 2008

It's sad that they feel like they will not get support there, it's actually kind of ridiculous. There are plenty of women there who will still lend a shoulder and provide support, yes, they may have to sort through a few more posts but they are still there. I'm certain things will calm back down in a few days and hopefully they will come back.

On a related not, I've never understood why people make announcements about their leaving a board - just go. Don't post, just leave.?It's like they want someone to say, 'Oh, no, don't go' or something. WTH?

Toosdai · November 2008

ougrad1:
I don't recall seeing most of you on the mentioned?boards regularly so, to be such an authority on the subject puzzles me.

WTF? Do you sit over there with a f*cking sign-in sheet or something, keeping track of who posts? Whatev.

?

cotner · November 2008

ougrad1:
I don't recall seeing most of you on the mentioned boards regularly so, to be such an authority on the subject puzzles me.

I think you just made everyone's point. A lot of people weren't over there getting the support they wanted BECAUSE of the picture.

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