What happens if I (we SPs) die?

PrincessFiona9 · February 2012

I was just thinking about this. I do NOT want ex to get custody of DD if something were to happen to me. But even if I put it in my will that guardianship go to my parents, I know he can fight it. I also have a sizeable life insurance policy that I do not want him getting his hands on. Ugh, someone posted about life ins policies on 12-24 and now I'm all worried about it.

LadyLissame · February 2012

For life insurance, I have my dad listed as my primary. That way, he can make sure that things are taken care of for DS.

Unknown · February 2012

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DHYGchica3 · February 2012

I asked my attorney this question, pretty much there isn't anything I can do to prevent him from getting full custody unless he gave up all parental rights. My parents would have to fight for custody and prove he's an unfit father, that it wouldn't be in DS's best interest.

FyreFlyeRush · February 2012

With DD, my ex and I talked about it. He agrees my parents are the best place for her, as he hasn't been a big part of her life, and my parents have. I've also thought about my BFF whom loves my daughter as much as her kids. My ex has said whatever I think best, he'll agree to.

This baby...IDK. I don't want him to see have custody of him. Ever. I think he's a few screws shy of an actual screw. I don't think he'd have an issue with my BFF raising him, as his BFF is my BFF's partner. But, AFAIK, there's nothing that can be done. I've just decided I have to live for 19 more years!

Oh, and my father is the beneficiary on my Life Insurance with my ex the secondary. I know both will set the money aside for the kids. When DD turns 18, I'll give her half, and the other half stays the same.

CFjo2010 · February 2012

Regarding life insurance: you can name anyone to be "guardian" for the beneficiary. It doesn't have to be the legal guardian of your child. Better yet, set up a Living Trust and list the Living Trust as the beneficiary. That way you can outline your wishes as to the distribution of funds for your child.

Pas for custody: eeessshh. This sucks, but the father will automatically get custody. Your parents (or whomever you appoint in your Will) can fight for custody, but they have to prove it would be a detriment to your child to live with his/her father. Sometimes Courts will in fact allow grandparents to have custody. That's why even now, documentation is SOOOOOO important. Document every fight, every missed visit, every hostile word. It's tedious, but it helps later on.

monpetitechouchou01 · February 2012

This too has crossed my mind and my baby isn't even here. I was talking to my mother about this and we both agree that we would love for the baby to have two amazing and loving families. However, the sad part is that ex's family did not want me to go through with the pregnancy. They outright told him to tell me to abort. Perhaps this will have nothing to do with how they react to the baby once it gets here. Yet, it doesn't give me hope at all. I know that my family will love, adore and raise my child with everything they have. I can't say the same for ex's family. My ex is pathological liar and a cheater (and emotionally abusive when he found out about the pregnancy)---things that prove he was an unfit partner for me but I don't believe those are things that can give my parents custody over him. I wish I'd known all of these things a long time ago. I already feel guilty for not being able to bring my child into a much better situation. This little one doesn't deserve it.

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