January 2012 Moms
How do I get over the guilt?
I had LO on Sunday morning and have been breastfeeding a few times a day and letting them give him some formula too. I hate breastfeeding, I dread it, it's painful, i am just not comfortable with it at all. I want so badly to switch to formula but I feel horribly guilty, I've cried so much over it today and I'm so stressed I can't sleep. I just want to do what's best for my little man, he's gotten a lot of colostrum which I'm happy about but I just don't know if I can or want to continue BFing
Married my best friend 5/2/2008
TTC our first miracle since November 2010
BFP 3/16/2011 Chemical Pregnancy 3/20/2011
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Re: How do I get over the guilt?
Sometimes what's best for the baby is for you to be happy and sane. Just because breastfeeding is better doesn't mean formula feeding is wrong. If BF really is too stressful, then that's not good for the baby either.
On another note, breastfeeding can start out very overwhelming and painful. I thought I was done by day two. But I am now six weeks in, and even though it isn't the most wonderful experience, it's becoming a pretty decent one.
Have you tried a breast-shield? It might take some of the edge off the pain. You could also try pumping for some of the feedings to get a break on some pain if pumping isn't as painful.
Whatever you choose is your choice and the fact that you feel gulty means you're not going to make a selfish choice. Just know that it's okay if breastfeeding doesn't work for you. Whatever works best for your family is the most important.
I had terrible baby blues the first two weeks postpartum and breast feeding was making matters worse. My LO wasnt gaining, I was in pain, she wanted to be on the breast round the clock, it was a very stressful situation. We switched to formula and it made a world of difference. I'm much happier and relaxed, so is my baby.
I had tremendous feelings of guilt but now that I see how much better it is for the whole family, I know it was the right decision. Don't beat yourself up. Formula isn't poison. In two years it won't even matter. Thousands of babies are formula fed and they thrive. Do what is best for you. A sane, happy mother is much more important than breastmilk no matter what anyone tells you.
I usually post on 0-3 board, but I just wanted to pass on some advice a friend gave me when I was having issues deciding to BF or FF.
Think of when you are on a flight and the attendant says to you "put the oxygen mask on yourself first, then put it on your loved ones. Otherwise no one will get it!"
You have to take care of yourself and do what is best for you so you can be the best mom you can!! And sometimes that means FF!
Good Luck!
This! I thought the same thing. I also read a good quote that said 'asking a mother to continue to breastfeed through extreme pain is like telling someone with a broken leg to walk it off'
Good luck to everyone and I'm sure we'll all find the right solution for our individual situations!
I was thinking of quitting back around day 2-4 and DH had to remind me that it wouldn't be the end of the world if we FF. You, as a mother, will give the baby what they need, whether that is BM or formula. Don't feel guilty if you have to stop.
I will second the nipple shield suggestion. It's the number one reason I kept going and am still going. BUT, DD did latch on without it tonight. Yay!