How do you feel about male OBs?

CoreysGal · February 2012

I am having my first experience with a male OB tomorrow and, of course, it is my breast exam and pap appt. I was trying to be a big girl when they asked me if it would be OK to have my appointment with him (of the 6 OBs, he is the only male).

I know he is a professional and he sees a million lady parts a day but at the end of the day, he IS still a man. It bothers me a little bit to think that he *could* be thinking about me in a sexual way - particularly the breast exam part, for some reason. I am certain there will be girls who tell me this is ridiculous and to get over it but what I am looking to see if I am not the only one that gets a little weirded out by this!

TravelSnob · February 2012

My family doctor is a female and the first OB she sent me too a few years ago for another problem was awful and didn't even examine me physically to see what the problem was.

The problem still continued so I requested to see another OB and she sent me to a male. He was amazing and told me my problem within 5 minutes and I've been fine ever since. He was very professional and made me feel very comfortable.

I've requested him again for my pregnancy and he is definitely the doctor with the best reputation in town.

I hope this helps! Good Luck!

WestyMom · February 2012

Personally it doesn't bother me, but if it makes you uncomfortable I see no reason why you shouldn't ask for someone else. You need to feel comfortable with someone so you remember to ask all your questions and advocate for yourself. There is actually a male MIDWIFE at the practice I am going to which I find fascinating

My sister keeps referring to him as the man-wife.

kathyo1982 · February 2012

My OB is a male. My GYN is a female, but the OB still had to the pap at my 1st appointment. I said, as long as DH doesn't mind, I don't mind -- I figure like you said, its nothing he hasn't seen before and as long as baby and I are healthy -- that's all that matters to me.

mishfull · February 2012

FWIW My OB is a lesbian - I don't have any concerns with what she's thinking down there. She's very professional and has always been. I'd rather a good doctor over anything else, which is why I picked her.

abbzy85 · February 2012

I think it was a little hard to get used to, but I just told myself that it's totally normal. Some people will always be uncomfortable with men and others will be fine with it. You just have to decide what's right for you.

CoreysGal · February 2012

WestyMom:
Personally it doesn't bother me, but if it makes you uncomfortable I see no reason why you shouldn't ask for someone else. You need to feel comfortable with someone so you remember to ask all your questions and advocate for yourself. There is actually a male MIDWIFE at the practice I am going to which I find fascinating My sister keeps referring to him as the man-wife.

Lol! I wondered if those existed!

Jerzeygrl784 · February 2012

It's totally personal preference and what YOU feel comfortable with... that's the most important part. Personally my OB's practice has 6 dr's and 1 is a female the other 5 are male. Since I was 16 I was seeing one of the male dr's and was so comfortable with him. When you're pregnant, my practice makes you see all of the dr's so whenever you go into labor you're familiar with whichever dr is on call at the hospital. I saw the female dr and HATED her. This preg I refuse to see her and even told the one dr last month, she's not to see me because I had a HORRIBLE experience with her between office visits and my hospital stay after giving birth to DS. I found that the male dr's were a little more compassionate and sympathetic to whatever it was I was feeling, pain wise or emotionally, whereas the female dr kind of had a suck it up attitude... but I'm sure not all female dr's are like that, so if you're more comfortable with the female dr's, keep seeing them!

CoreysGal · February 2012

mishfull:
FWIW My OB is a lesbian - I don't have any concerns with what she's thinking down there. She's very professional and has always been. I'd rather a good doctor over anything else, which is why I picked her.

I have also considered this but at least in the female situation I normally wouldn't know that! I guess the same could go for the male doc being gay so who knows.

mswood1977 · February 2012

I personally prefer male OBGYNs. I have been to a couple different female OBGYNs, and a few different male doctors. I always felt more comfortable with the male doctors.

abbzy85 · February 2012

mishfull:
FWIW My OB is a lesbian - I don't have any concerns with what she's thinking down there. She's very professional and has always been. I'd rather a good doctor over anything else, which is why I picked her.

Mine is too and her male partner is gay.

Mrs_Bennett · February 2012

I have never seen a male OB/GYN , and I don't think I would be comfortable doing so. I'm sure most of them are very professional and have no interest in any one woman's specific body, but it would make me feel uncomfortable. All that being said, when I was pregnant with DS, I was hospitalized around 34 weeks. I had a male OB come in to talk to me about the possibility of delivering that early if we had to (he did not do an exam), and I decided that I would be okay with him delivering my baby if needed (he was on call that night). I guess for some reason, I don't want a male doing a pap or a breast exam, but a baby delivery is fine? Haha, maybe it's because I'm pretty sure that delivering a baby is a surefire way to making a guy NOT think of you sexually!! lol

I say stick with whomever you're most comfortable with!

irer · February 2012

My OB is a guy, and it doesn't bother me at all. But the important thing is to do what makes you feel most comfortable.

CoreysGal · February 2012

Jerzeygrl784:
It's totally personal preference and what YOU feel comfortable with... that's the most important part. Personally my OB's practice has 6 dr's and 1 is a female the other 5 are male. Since I was 16 I was seeing one of the male dr's and was so comfortable with him. When you're pregnant, my practice makes you see all of the dr's so whenever you go into labor you're familiar with whichever dr is on call at the hospital. I saw the female dr and HATED her. This preg I refuse to see her and even told the one dr last month, she's not to see me because I had a HORRIBLE experience with her between office visits and my hospital stay after giving birth to DS. I found that the male dr's were a little more compassionate and sympathetic to whatever it was I was feeling, pain wise or emotionally, whereas the female dr kind of had a suck it up attitude... but I'm sure not all female dr's are like that, so if you're more comfortable with the female dr's, keep seeing them!

I have heard this so I hope that he makes me feel this way, as well.

lily225 · February 2012

With my second child I switched to a male OB at about 28w (we moved) and i was pretty nervous about it. It felt weird to have a man touch me like that (going into it). But what made a world of difference was his bed side manner and his personality. I think can totally and justifiably give you the creeps if they personality doesn't agree with what you need. I ended up feeling completely comfortable with that OB and never felt weird except for going into that first appt.

I would say give it the one appt. and see how you feel. You can always ask to switch after. It's definitely a personal matter and you shouldn't feel bad if you feel uncomfortable.

morgs8384 · February 2012

I have always preferred a female OB. I don't know why, just when I was younger I felt awkward about being examined by a male OB. Since then, I can say that I have not found an OB that I really like. And also should note that my RE is male, and I so wish he could be my OB.

I would love to find a great OB. But after going through 4 different ones already (seems like a lot, im 27), I am just sitting tight with the same one that delivered DS for fear of finding even worse OBs.

CoreysGal · February 2012

Scout2005:

My OB is a man, and I love him. I switched from a female OB who was horrible, insensitive to our losses, and frankly made a terrible time in my life even worse.

There is zero that is sexual about a medical exam. Seriously. I can't think of anything less sexy. It's quick, efficient, and over. I am not the least bit weirded out by it.

For all you know, either doctor was gay, meaning your assumption about their level of interest in the female body could be totally off. At the end of the day, it is a professional setting, period.

I care about the competency of the doctor, not what sort of genitalia they happen to posses.

It is not about his genitalia, it is about being in such a private situation with someone who *could* be inclined to view me less than professionally. The same could go for a gay female OB but like I said above, I generally do not know that they are gay so it would not be in my mind. It feels vulnerable to me but I am going to give it a shot and see if I am overthinking it.

CoreysGal · February 2012

Mrs_Bennett:

I have never seen a male OB/GYN , and I don't think I would be comfortable doing so. I'm sure most of them are very professional and have no interest in any one woman's specific body, but it would make me feel uncomfortable. All that being said, when I was pregnant with DS, I was hospitalized around 34 weeks. I had a male OB come in to talk to me about the possibility of delivering that early if we had to (he did not do an exam), and I decided that I would be okay with him delivering my baby if needed (he was on call that night). I guess for some reason, I don't want a male doing a pap or a breast exam, but a baby delivery is fine? Haha, maybe it's because I'm pretty sure that delivering a baby is a surefire way to making a guy NOT think of you sexually!! lol

I say stick with whomever you're most comfortable with!

This is exactly my thoughts, too! I guess I will see if I still feel the same after tomorrow but based on all these other responses, maybe my mind will change after tomorrow.

megan2545 · February 2012

I've been to both male and female OB's and I'm pretty comfortable with both but I totally understand why you having a man examine you is weird. I too have found male OBs to be more compassionate and sensitive but in a way I think that women are more attentive and understanding to problems and concerns that arise, even though a lot of them have a "suck it up" attitude.

jesslinnn · February 2012

My OB is a male and I love him. He is very professional and easy to talk to about my concerns. I never thought twice about having a male doctor.

Andreabks · February 2012

i've never had a male OB, but my pediatrician and NP that i grew up with were male, and they did all but 2 of my breast exams when i had my tumor (at 12yo) so i really don't mind male doc's doing female stuff. it may have weirded me out if all that didn't happen when i was a kid, but as it did, i've never had an issue. up untill the last few years, all my yearly exams were done by a male dr in the practice. they always make sure there is a female nurse or tech in the room (Kaiser requirement) and so i've never worried about it

if it bothers you though, say something. everyone is different.

mamahawk12 · February 2012

mswood1977:
I personally prefer male OBGYNs. I have been to a couple different female OBGYNs, and a few different male doctors. I always felt more comfortable with the male doctors.

I also prefer male doctors. I've always gone to a male Ob/Gyn and think he's amazing. I wouldn't consider going to a female. Call me sexist - whatever. I've never had an issue.

CrazyDaisy8 · February 2012

I personally have liked male OBs better than any female that I have went to. I think they are far more gentle, concerned and compassionate than a female doctor. I have a theory that women think they know exactly how another woman is feeling and compares them to themselves. A man will never know how it feels to be up the stirrups or having a baby so they listen to the concerns a bit more. That is 100% my view and I am not saying that everyone's doctors will be like this. I am just going based on my own experience.

Although I may feel more comfortable with a man that does not mean they are the best doctor for you. If you can no get over the thought that it is a man then I suggest going with a women. This will be the only way that you can have great communication and trust which is extremely important for this process.

ChubbyCheekiesMom · February 2012

I understand being slightly uncomfortable with a male OB, and I had the same feelings the first time around. I had a female OB up until 34 weeks with my first and then she decided to leave the practice. So I decided to stay with my nurse, and the new DR was male. Of course a nice looking one at that. But he was fantastic, and very understanding.

I have a male OB this time as well, we moved 300 miles from where we were living so unfortunately I had to find a new practice. I don't love him, but he does a great job. I do however love his nurse, and in my opinion they are just as important!

workingmama · February 2012

I had been going to only females since 15. When I got PG with DS, I realized the practice (which I love) is half female and half male on the OB side. Since you do not get to choose which doctor delivers you in most situations, I knew I needed to be comfortable with all of them. After going through one pregnancy and a childbirth, it does not matter to me anymore for OB purposes. That said, I will stick with my known female GYN post-pregnancy for my annual exams...just because I love her.

emandjp · February 2012

Honestly, I prefer a male OB/GYN. I started off with a male dr. and for a about two years had a female dr. and felt like she wasn't as gentle or undertsanding-might seem silly but it's definitely how I felt. I've been going to the same OB/GYN for the past 6 years and I love him and really really hope he gets to deliver this baby.

ChibiMommy · February 2012

NMS

amandapoat · February 2012

My old OB/GYN was a female and I hated her, she was so pushy and opinionated. So when I found out I was prego I decided to get a new OB and that I only wanted a male doctor because guys tend to not be so snarky. I don't care about the gender professionally, they all go through the same schooling, it's more of a personality thing.

acoop719 · February 2012

I realize that there are some amazing male doctors out there, but for me personally I am just uncomfortable with male doctors in general, not just OBs. It may just stem from the experiences I have had with different ones, as I've never had an appt with a male dr. that I felt went well. Yay for all of you that have great doctors, whether male or female :-).

MrsWhipple · February 2012

My OB is male, and I love him so far! However, I did suffer a m/c last February, and went to the ER and was examined by both a male and female doctor. When you go through something like that, you get over your awkwardness quickly.

byrne15 · February 2012

I kinda feel the same way.... I prefer a female OB, but I went to a male RE who inseminated me 6 times and used the dildo cam on me at least 15. Somehow it wasn't weird when he did it, but I still want a female OB.

Also, a male delivered ds and at that time I didn't care at all either.

nopegoat · February 2012

I have two male OB's that I see in the practice. I love them. They are both very respectful and professional. I don't knlw if it will make yo feel better or not, but if they are doing any type of exam they have to have a female nurse in the room as well.

Cdienst · February 2012

No no no I will NOT see an male gyno. I mean really why did he choose that profession if he is a straight male? It grosses me out and I refuse to see them. I had to go see a male gynecologist oncologist once and he was horrible! I felt so disgusted and he had a horrific bedside manner. Women understand exactly whats going on and how it feels- Men DONT & NEVER WILL! I have to add that I am in nursing school and Ive seen that men judge much more than women do when there is an issue "down there". Obviously everyone is different, this is just my truly honest opinion.

Rhomonk · February 2012

Scout2005:

My FIL is an OB/GYN. He does so because he cares about the importance of prenatal medicine for the health of women and babies.

This is an incredibly small-minded and ignorant post. If it's not your comfort level, fine, but wow. To assume that the men who enter this profession are perverts, or all terrible because you had ONE bad experience, is unreal.

All of this. What does his sexual preference have to do with anything? Do you ask your female OB/GYN what her sexual preference is?

I see a male OB/GYN and he is WONDERFUL. I've had bad experiences with the other women in the practice. Doesn't mean I'm going to turn around and say all female OB/GYNs are horrible.

stever · February 2012

Cdienst:
No no no I will NOT see an male gyno. I mean really why did he choose that profession if he is a straight male? It grosses me out and I refuse to see them. I had to go see a male gynecologist oncologist once and he was horrible! I felt so disgusted and he had a horrific bedside manner. Women understand exactly whats going on and how it feels- Men DONT & NEVER WILL! I have to add that I am in nursing school and Ive seen that men judge much more than women do when there is an issue "down there". Obviously everyone is different, this is just my truly honest opinion.

Your honest opinion is bitchy and bigoted. Are you seriously calling all male OB's pervs?

stever · February 2012

Scout2005:
Cdienst:
No no no I will NOT see an male gyno. I mean really why did he choose that profession if he is a straight male? It grosses me out and I refuse to see them. I had to go see a male gynecologist oncologist once and he was horrible! I felt so disgusted and he had a horrific bedside manner. Women understand exactly whats going on and how it feels- Men DONT & NEVER WILL! I have to add that I am in nursing school and Ive seen that men judge much more than women do when there is an issue "down there". Obviously everyone is different, this is just my truly honest opinion.
My FIL is an OB/GYN. He does so because he cares about the importance of prenatal medicine for the health of women and babies.
This is an incredibly small-minded and ignorant post. If it's not your comfort level, fine, but wow. To assume that the men who enter this profession are perverts, or all terrible because you had ONE bad experience, is unreal.

Props to your FIL. Cdienst's post rubbed me all kinds of the wrong way.

DeputiesWife · February 2012

Male OBs dont bother me...my RE was a male and saw a lot more of me than my OB does. All males did my 4 IUI's, 2 ER and 1 ET. I had a female for my second ET. I was ok with that.

I feel like as long as the nurse is female you are good to go....my first OB told me that if I ever do get a male OB make sure there is a female nurse in the room with you.

Mrs. Rohde · February 2012

If it bothers you then you should request a female OB. Personally I've always felt comfortable with my male OB/GYN. I've been using him for over 11 years and we have a pretty good rapport. He also sees my mom, aunt and sister. He was fabulous with delivering DD and my niece.

I know there are some people who have issues with men looking at their girly parts but what I figured is this: they are professionals, there is ALWAYS a female nurse or someone else in there with you, and they have seen a zillion boobs and vaginas that they are probably not even phased by it. It's just a job.

Good luck!

sadeathe · February 2012

I don't think I would have a problem seeing a male gynecologist, but I wouldn't want to see a male obstetrician. I went to a baby shower where the mother proceeded to tell how the doctor literally put his hand inside her to help the baby out because the baby was stuck. This ripped her. After that, I was like - women have much smaller hands, on average, than men - I think I'll go with a female obstetrician or midwife. I don't know if that is common practice or anything, but I'd rather avoid being torn because of large hands.

xokell2 · February 2012

I could understand feeling uncomfortable having a man that's not your husband touch you in those places, but I don't think you're understanding that they are professionals performing a professional exam.

But the concept of you wondering if he's thinking of you in a sexual way sounds like you're got bigger issues than just being uncomfortable.

Doctors are professionals, don't flatter yourself into thinking they're enjoying your exams on a perverted level.

knsh11 · February 2012

Cdienst:
No no no I will NOT see an male gyno. I mean really why did he choose that profession if he is a straight male? It grosses me out and I refuse to see them. I had to go see a male gynecologist oncologist once and he was horrible! I felt so disgusted and he had a horrific bedside manner. Women understand exactly whats going on and how it feels- Men DONT & NEVER WILL! I have to add that I am in nursing school and Ive seen that men judge much more than women do when there is an issue "down there". Obviously everyone is different, this is just my truly honest opinion.

Wow. I bet you have issues with male teachers in daycares too.

OP, I love my male OB/GYN. He is extremely gentle, easy to talk to, and seems to listen to me more than any of the female gynos I've had.

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