Trouble TTC

injects made me sad tonight

i am trying to be positive leading to iui #1, but tonight as i was prepping my bravelle i just looked at everything on the counter and started to cry.

i just looked at the syringes and vials and thought, i feel like i am at work and feel like i am one of my science experiments (i am a chemist)...

maybe its the hormones, or making myself vulnerable to hope, or the fact that i am home alone tonight for the second night in a row bc husband is out of town for work...or maybe i am just losing my mind

TTC #1 since 12/2010 DH: MFI, cancer survivor Me: Resected septate uterus, lap treated mild endo, tubes open, ovulate on own, autoimmune disease 3 Failed IUI's (2/2012, 4/2012, 6/2012) 
IVF #1 August 2012. BFP! Beta #1 56.7 Beta #2 150 One baby, one heartbeat on 9/20/12! no h/b @7w6d. dandc @8w0d
FET #1 December 2012, BFN
FET #2 February 2013, no embies survived thaw
IVF #2, BFP #2, Loss #2 March 2013, Scar tissue discovered, RPL testing,
IVF #3, BFP #3, Loss #3 (twins) September 2013
Hostile ute, moving onto Gestational Carrier!

GC/FET #1 of 1 5AA blast and 1 compacted blast, February 2014, BFP #4 on 3/1/2014!
6w u/s 1 bean with h/b of 145 bpm, 8w u/s 187 bpm
EDD 11/7/14. Please, please, please stick little one!

Praying unceasingly for a miracle. ALL welcome!

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Re: injects made me sad tonight

  • I got really sad last night all of a sudden too. :( I am chalking it up to side effects, and the overwhelming emotions of the cycle! Hugs to you my dear
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  • I've decided that any emotions I feel during this process are perfectly normal.  There isn't anyone who can really tell us how to handle what we're going through.  IF is so different for everyone even if we have many similar experiences/feelings.  I hope your next inject makes you feel empowered.  You are doing everything you can and that is all you or anyone else can ask of you.  Good luck this cycle and with the rest of your shots!
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  • imageerockmomma:
    I've decided that any emotions I feel during this process are perfectly normal.  There isn't anyone who can really tell us how to handle what we're going through.  IF is so different for everyone even if we have many similar experiences/feelings.  I hope your next inject makes you feel empowered.  You are doing everything you can and that is all you or anyone else can ask of you.  Good luck this cycle and with the rest of your shots!

    erockmomma said it perfectly!  There were points during my IVF cycle where I just felt like I couldn't handle any more shots and wanted to cry.  I was sick of dealing with it day after day -- and just like you said, feeling like some crazy science experiment.  But you'll push through it because you're a strong, amazing woman and because if and when you get pregnant, it will all be worth it!

    (((hugs))) and I hope that tomorrow night is better.

    Severe MFI. Me: supposedly all clear but eggs showed vacuoles.

    IVF #1 January 2012, ER Jan 14th: 34R, 27M, 23F. Day 3: 18 embies still strong. Day 5: zero "good," one "fair," the rest "poor." Transferred 3. None made it to blast or to freeze. Jan 28: BFN.

    Lucky IVF #2: Transferred two beautiful day three embies on St. Patrick's Day. BFP on HPT 7dp3dt. Beta 1 (14dpER)=106; Beta 2 (16dpER)=140; Beta 3 (19dpER)=264! First u/s 4.17.

    imageimageimageBabyFruit Ticker

    Hope is the thing with feathers - that perches in the soul - and sings the tune without the words - and never stops - at all - (Emily Dickinson)

  • I am so sorry, hun!  It is very overwhelming and sad that we have come to this point in our journey.  We never thought it would be like this.  The good news is Bravelle is easy to use and produces wonderful follicles to give you the best chance this cycle.  FX that this is your only month you have to give yourself IF meds. 
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  • hang in there linc! people like us, unfortunately, have to work a little harder to get what we want. but just stay hopeful that all of this work will lead you to that little bundle of joy!! i'm thinking of you girl....
    TTC #1 Since January 2011 Dx: PCOS and Anovulatory April 2012 BFP! Beta 1 5/22 - 1,000+ Beta 2 5/24 - 3,009 1st u/s 6/5 - TWINS!!! A/S Reveals we are Team PURPLE!!! Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker image image image  12/27 - surprise BFP - due August 2014
  • I'm sorry : (. I felt like that off and on during my injects cycle.  But like PP said, I hope it can make you feel empowered that you are doing everything you can! I hope today is a better day!
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  • thanks for your thoughts and support ladies. it reminds me why i participate in this community.

    hoping all of us feel empowered today!

    thanks again. 

    TTC #1 since 12/2010 DH: MFI, cancer survivor Me: Resected septate uterus, lap treated mild endo, tubes open, ovulate on own, autoimmune disease 3 Failed IUI's (2/2012, 4/2012, 6/2012) 
    IVF #1 August 2012. BFP! Beta #1 56.7 Beta #2 150 One baby, one heartbeat on 9/20/12! no h/b @7w6d. dandc @8w0d
    FET #1 December 2012, BFN
    FET #2 February 2013, no embies survived thaw
    IVF #2, BFP #2, Loss #2 March 2013, Scar tissue discovered, RPL testing,
    IVF #3, BFP #3, Loss #3 (twins) September 2013
    Hostile ute, moving onto Gestational Carrier!

    GC/FET #1 of 1 5AA blast and 1 compacted blast, February 2014, BFP #4 on 3/1/2014!
    6w u/s 1 bean with h/b of 145 bpm, 8w u/s 187 bpm
    EDD 11/7/14. Please, please, please stick little one!

    Praying unceasingly for a miracle. ALL welcome!

    image










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