Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: What Made You Choose to Attempt A VBAC?? (Even if you were unsuccessful)
I chose a VBAC because there is also a real percentage of death from a c/s (due to it being major surgery). Yes, the rupture option is also real but I felt that with the monitors and my midwife's assurance that they would be able to identify a rupture quickly and be able to get her out safely from there made me feel that a VBAC was statistically safer and more controlled than a c/s. ACOG seems to agree with that as well. There are many long term problems that come with c/s that I didn't want to deal with either.
And I definitely didn't want to be restricted with picking up and carrying my toddler afterward. A new baby is a big enough change, I didn't want him to think I was abandoning him or something.
I was ready to go home and go about my life about an hour after she was born, so my recovery was also much faster (and I did have a small tear).
#1 - Because CS is major surgery. My recovery wasn't awful, but it was definitely harder than my VBAC recovery.
#2 - Because DH and I don't know how many children we will have and I knew if I repeated CS the second time, I would probably have to have CS everytime, which would create limitations
#3 - I had to take a lot of pain meds to get through and ended up feeling like I had the flu after about a week. Little did I know, I was becoming dependent on the pain meds and had to go through the awful awful side effects of coming off of them. Also, I wasn't a fan of trying to nurse at this time... I'd much rather not have to be on so much medication. VBAC, I never took anything outside of the hospital stronger than Tylenol.
#4 - I got to see my baby for a second and then was wisked away to the first recovery room where my BP had a hard time stabilizing... which took several hours. My hubby was also left to wonder/worry while I was gone.
#5 - Probably a side note, but I haven't had to experience an epidural/spinal WITHOUT already being in pain and that scares the mess out of me.
This. I felt like I was not an active participant in my first child's birth. I also wanted to avoid surgery because the thought of being cut open and having people dig around my insides grosses me out, not to mention that the more c/s you have, the more risks you have if you ever get pregnant again. I also wanted to be able to hold my baby right away.
Faster recovery
Not having my baby taken away from me right after it is born.
Easier BFing and milk coming in earlier
Better for babies lungs
Less risk of something happening to me and leaving my kid(s) motherless
Not having my abdomen sliced open unneccessarily.
To avoid being strapped naked to a table in a room full of strangers.I found that I was more open to c/s than vbac because I had already been through it and knew what to expect. Vbac was unknown and I was afraid of tearing and all the other things associated with vag birth.
I was 41 weeks and had to schedule a rcs but they were going to check to see if I was able to be induced when I was admitted. You have to be at least 2-3cm to be induced since they cant use cervadil. My Ob asked if I wanted to have more kids when the option of a rcs came up. I said I did and she warned that more than two c/s pretty much gaurentees a third and the risks are very high.
I had a wonderful short, induced, medicated labor and had a 20 minute pushing session with minor tearing. Recovery was a joke compared to my c/s recovery.
Ditto this. Mostly I just knew I didn't want major surgery again. I've had two vbacs now and don't regret them.
I replied to a similar post just lower on the board page along with a few others. Here's the link to that thread:
https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/62561438.aspx
HTH and GL!
~Sweet Girl *8/18/08* c-section ~ Sweet Boy *12/2/10* VBAC ~ Sweet Boy *8/14/12* VBAC~
VBAC Birth Story 2VBAC Birth Story
Thanks ladies for all your responses. Definitely gave me more to think about.
A few of you mentioned choosing a VBAC b/c you want more kids. When I discussed this with my doctor she said that 4 was the most she recommends. It seems like all of you were told lower numbers.....
I was told that 4 children by c/s was "allowed", but limiting to 3 was "recommended" due to the much higher increase for a variety of complications.
~Sweet Girl *8/18/08* c-section ~ Sweet Boy *12/2/10* VBAC ~ Sweet Boy *8/14/12* VBAC~
VBAC Birth Story 2VBAC Birth Story