Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Why no wrapping?
Do it! Wrap that gift with layers of paper and multiple bows!
Because she wants to take your gift and stick it on a table and then give it a fancy name to make herself not seem tacky and lazy. She will also claim she is doing this so that she has more time to talk to her guests.
I would wrap it with very intricate, hard to undo, bows.
Nope, I'm Jewish... we aren't supposed to have showers because you aren't supposed to have anything beforehand. Unwrapping a present has nothing to do with it.
He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be. He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.
Ditto.Jew here.
Jews aren't even supposed to have showers. Your co-worker was just being weird with her request.
This. Let us know what the reason was, and please do tell us that others wrapped theirs too!
Most of the time it's because the MTB doesn't want to sit and open gifts. The only way I wouldn't side-eye the request would be if the rest of the registry and shower was also environmentally friendly. Some will use the guise of "going green" to get their guests to not wrap presents but still have disposable diapers, paper plates, and streamers hung throughout the venue. A little counterproductive.
This! And lots and lots of layers...
(If she was 'green' you would know it because it would reflect in her life *unless like another poster said it was the host etc*. Since you had to ask about it being environmentally friendly I would go with no she isn't-just rather tacky)
This 100%!!! I swear, btwn asking for books instead of cards, specifying clothing sizes, ect, some of these MTBs are getting out of control!!! IMO, the only exception to honoring a no wrap gift request is if the MTB is known for being super eco friendly, and even then, you can always be creative and use a swaddle blanket or some type of reusable item to wrap up the gift.
Ballsox, hit up the previous post about the shower where the hostesses opened all the gifts for the mom at the shower and wrote everything down instead of the mom "having" to open them.
Just sayin', someone's not getting a present if this is what it's coming to, folks.
I'm not green and I detest the "unwrapped gift" showers so I wrap the gift I take. I also make sure the MTB opens it before I leave.
Like the others have said...either the MTB is green (which she shouldn't be dictating that you should be as well) or she doesn't want to take the time to unwrap gifts...so she can spend more time socializing with her family and friends.
BTW...do you know her well? Does she have casts on her hands/arms or something like that? That could be another reason. I will never buy the "too shy" reason. If that is the case they shouldn't have agreed to have a shower in the first place.
That's true. Also, it sounds like some of you ladies have been to an "unwrapped gift" shower. Are they really common or something?
Some of you ladies get very worked up about this issue. I personally dread the hours of gift opening and I don't really expect to be publicly recognized for the $50 worth of diapers I bought from her registry. It's rewarding enough to give the MTB (usually a good friend or family member) something she specifically asked for or needs.
So you're offended that you don't get your air time during the gift opening and don't want to be forced to "go green" by saving paper, that's your prerogative, but unfortunately, the baby shower isn't about you. You simply don't have to go.
My opinio, is the the mom doesn't like to be the center of attention and doesn't want people to watch her open the gifts. I think that is a bit ridiculous because your guests took time out of their day to buy you a gift and come to your party, the least you could do is plaster a smile on your face and say thank you.
It's common courtesy. Really, what's so difficult about opening presents? It's not manual labor. The shower costs guests their time and money so the least the MTB can do is acknowledge the person and their gift. Not to mention, it's rude to put stipulations on how a person should or shouldn't give you a gift.
Wow, some of these responses are surprising, and very snarky! I asked for no wrapping at my baby shower, not because I am lazy, unappreciative, tacky, etc. I asked for it because it is a green initiative. Wrapping presents, especially on huge items, is really wasteful. You just sit there and throw it all away.
I intend to sit there and go through the generous gifts and thank each person as I go through their gifts. It is becoming increasingly popular. Honestly, it also saves money for the guest by not having to buy paper, or bows, etc.
Are you very "green" in your everyday life? If you're not then, honestly, I think it's cr@p. If you truly are, then your nearest and dearest would already know this about you and you wouldn't need to put it on an invitation. But if I'm told someone wants to be environmentally friendly and I know they don't generally live their life that way and I walk into the room and see paper products and decorations and have seen that you registered for disposable diapers, well... I don't care how much you thank me, you are full of sh!t. (I'm speaking in general, not of you in particular)
Just because some phenomenon has increased in popularity doesn't make it polite.
What's bizarre, is you're absolutely giving these women the recognition they demand, but somehow "being green" really rubs people the wrong way - I think it unfortunately is still a political issue. I have hosted a number of shower and since I know that paperless showers are still a new concept and anger people, I instead will sit with the MTB and write down the gifts as well as fold up paper and tissue to be reused if it's in good condition. People still roll their eyes by that simple act. I think reusable gift bags are becoming more popular and that's what I tend to put gifts in - just an idea.
You're a peach. Pleasant and lovely comments. Regardless of whether it was directed at me personally. Have fun judging people the rest of your life.
I absolutely am judgemental, everyone is whether they want to admit it or not, but at least I could never be called a hypocrite.
First, I am not reading snark into everything, it's pretty obvious, especially with the bleeped cursing.
As for being green, I am . My house has a special environmental wrapping (instead of a Tyvek) made of recycled jeans. We watch all of our utilities. I do not use paper products, generally, with the exception of a huge christmas party for which I could not get food and do dishes at the same time. I buy green cleaning products eventhough I don't think they work as well. I recycle everything and started a program at work since we didn't use any recycle bins.
As for diapers, I can't afford a diaper service to do cloth diapers. I plan to use the disposable. It is what it is.
Also, some of you ignored that I said I plan to sit down and go through all gifts, giving credit to everyone who so generously gave me a gift and came to my shower. I am not going to stand in front of the gifts and make a general announcement of thank you. It is not so that "they can spend more time with me."
I've been to plenty of these types of showers and I think they are great. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. I was just shocked at how "aggressive" for lack of a better word, the responses were/are.
You're entitled to your opinion(s). I am entitled to mine. I disagree with most of the responses on this thread. My ability to express that is the beauty of an open forum message board.
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Unless your house is solar-powered, don't even think about trying any of those "green" tricks to mask your laziness.
It's too bad you have to explain what you do in your everyday life to be better to the environment because you asked for no wrapping of the gifts. Every bit helps, it's not all-or-nothing. I appreciate your effort as well as not making me sit through the opening of 50 other peoples' gifts.
Argh- I HATE the green excuse for this, and I do try to be somewhat green.
There are other alternatives to wrapping paper. Birthdays and Christmas is recycled brown bags or newspaper (all of which is recycled at the end of event anyway), or giftbags other people gave us that we keep. It's really NOT hard to wrap it in something else.
It's probably for some "display" shower thing. Not that that makes it right.
This last reason you gave, right here, is what gets people riled up at "no wrapping paper."
The opening of gifts is the raison d'etre of a shower. If you don't want to sit through opening gifts, then don't go.
If no wrapping paper irks you so much, then you don't have to go.
Lazy? Do you know me? Do you know that no one in my life would ever conceive of calling me lazy? Yet, some interweb stranger thinks she knows me enough to say that! Wow, do you know the lottery numbers for next week, since you know everything and all.
Also, since we're calling each other names...Oh wait, nevermind, I don't play in the sandbox with women like you.
Goodbye. Enjoy your pregnancy.
It appears to me that the only person guilty of snark here is Kimikins, and this is from a purely objective viewpoint. And I don't mean that in an "attacking" manner, I'm just simply stating. I guess I'll be flamed for saying that, but whatever. **And for the record, you CAN wash cloth diapers yourself, without a special "service." How do you think people did it before disposable diapers came out? Just saying...
Personally, I really don't know what to think about the 'no wrapping paper' request. When it comes to baby showers, I usually just put the items in a gift bag with some tissue paper, since they can be reused (and I'm not a "green" person-- I just like reusable gift bags, and my wrapping skills aren't the greatest). However, I don't think that one should take away the option of guests wrapping gifts. They spent the time and money buying you the gifts, they should be able to present them to you in the manner that they wish, whether it be ten layers of paper and an extra coating of packaging tape (which I would find hilarious, even at my own shower), or nothing at all. The "green" excuse doesn't fly with me.. you can always reuse the paper if the gift is wrapped.
The hilarious thing is, I think TAU was trying to defend Kimikins and flame the rest of us!
Shame on us for wrapping/gift-bag-concealing the gifts! The audacity we must have!
Yup, we're awful!
this could go one of two ways for me
personally i HATE opening gifts in front of people. even if i truly love it i never know what to say or how to make my face look. so i could understand doing it for that
but on another note this looks really lazy and selfish.
im not sure how i feel about this.
DS Born: 6/02/2012
Tied the Knot: 11/14/2015
Trying for Number Two since 9/1/15
BFP!!! Baby 2 Due: 12/6/21
If you truly were "green", you'd know that there are more options for cloth diapers than a diaper service. That is the most ridiculous excuse I've ever heard. I purchased our cloth diapers, wipes, and accessories for about $500, and I'm using one of the more expensive options.
AND
People are aggressive because it is beyond rude to stipulate ANYTHING about a gift, be it where to buy it or how to package it. If people knew that you were so "green" that you would have been offended by gift wrap, they would have done it without being told. And if not, well, you smile and graciously accept their gift and their presence at your shower.
My son is not a fan of opening gifts yet so I had to sit there with him on my lap and open dozens of gifts at his birthday party yesterday. Did I enjoy it? No. But did it even cross my mind once to put on the invitation, "Hey, my kid isn't into unwrapping presents yet and I hate for your to waste the paper, so just bring the toys and throw them in a pile for him"? Absolutely not.