Mother naming problem! Help.

hisibor · January 2012

My husband and I have decided to named our little girl Jillian, my mother wants us to give the baby her first name as the baby's MN. My mother's brother has already named his first daughter after my mother and we think that is enough. Knowing my mother, if we do not give the baby her first name as MN she will be hurt and probably not speak to me for a while. We already have a MN name which is an African name as it's the traditional way to go about Naming babies, if we give the baby her first name as MN then she will have two MNames and we really do not want that. How would u guys handle this issue? I really do not want want to cause problems between my mother & I.

kelnyc · January 2012

Your mother had her turn to name her children. If she's going to act like a child and pout about it, let her (and also, YOU are not causing problems, your mother is... so if she starts in about it, reminder her that SHE is the source of all the drama). She'll get over it, so don't let her bad behavior sway your decision that you and your husband made together.

PhilsWife07 · January 2012

Wow, egotistical much? She already has a niece named after her. I wouldn't budge. It's your child and you get to choose her name, end of story. She'll get over it, eventually.

TheWop · January 2012

kelnyc:
Your mother had her turn to name her children. If she's going to act like a child and pout about it, let her (and also, YOU are not causing problems, your mother is... so if she starts in about it, reminder her that SHE is the source of all the drama). She'll get over it, so don't let her bad behavior sway your decision that you and your husband made together.

Amen.

Keri Marie · January 2012

Tell your mother "No" and leave it at that.

You're not responsible for her actions.

LuvBugMama · January 2012

While I believe that you should maintain a level of respect for your mother, you need to have boundaries as well. This is a decision your family (you and DH) should be making. Explain this to her gently and then give her time to get over it. If you let her make this decision for you, how many more will there be once the baby actually arrives?

Sawyerplus1 · January 2012

kelnyc:
Your mother had her turn to name her children. If she's going to act like a child and pout about it, let her (and also, YOU are not causing problems, your mother is... so if she starts in about it, reminder her that SHE is the source of all the drama). She'll get over it, so don't let her bad behavior sway your decision that you and your husband made together.

This!

OP, I'm sorry. That sounds like a rough position to be in, but you and DH need to make this decision together, and not let your mother bully you around. Start putting up the boundaries and limits surrounding the say she has in your children now!

brideandbreve · January 2012

PhilsWife07:
Wow, egotistical much? She already has a niece named after her. I wouldn't budge. It's your child and you get to choose her name, end of story. She'll get over it, eventually.

I second this.

I think naming a child after a family member is a really wonderful thing, but I think it's even more wonderful when you do it of your own free-will and not because that family member is encouraging/asking/telling you to do so.

How do you even conjure up the ba*ls to do that?!

g8trkim · January 2012

Wow, your mom sounds like a real gem. Insisting that not one, but two babies take her name. I would just tell her, "We have our hearts set on X as the baby's middle name and I hope you can respect that." I know you don't want tension, but if she chooses to be upset about you for this, it's her issue... not yours. Sorry you're dealing with this, but please don't give him just because she is being a PITA. You will regret it. Sorry you're dealing with this.

apollonia10 · January 2012

OP, I feel your pain. My mom is the same exact way. She loves her name and really pushed us to name our baby after her, which is a huge turn-off. If the baby had been a girl we would have used my mom's middle name as her middle name - it would have honored many other women in our families as well - but it wasn't good enough for her. Now that we know the baby is a boy, she wants us to use the masculine form of her name. No joke.

We're not doing it and she's going to have to get over it. Like PPs have said - this is your baby, not hers, and she has no right to insist what you name your baby.

FrecklesInside · January 2012

kelnyc:
Your mother had her turn to name her children. If she's going to act like a child and pout about it, let her (and also, YOU are not causing problems, your mother is... so if she starts in about it, reminder her that SHE is the source of all the drama). She'll get over it, so don't let her bad behavior sway your decision that you and your husband made together.

This entirely. Is your mother that immature? I didn't think adults acted this way. She really won't talk to you over this? If your brother already used her name, why should the rest of her grandchildren have the name. I'm sorry but that is super egotistical and really strange. Odd behavior from a grown woman.

Don't let her opinion bother you.

cswatch · January 2012

PhilsWife07:
Wow, egotistical much? She already has a niece named after her. I wouldn't budge. It's your child and you get to choose her name, end of story. She'll get over it, eventually.

this.

lizztheo · January 2012

Just politely explain why you both like the name you chose. She is your child, not your mother's. It's rude of her to ask that of you. And yeah, she might be hurt by it but it is in no way your fault that your mother somehow got it in her head that she would be named after her.