Working vs SAH - Mommy debate

duchess0727 · January 2012

Personally, I loved Glennon's Don't Carpe Diem and Lucy posts but this one I could take or leave. The Bloggess had a much more entertaining take on it. Not sure where this came from - I feel like we all agree the mommy wars are a pointless waste of time.

laurakaz13 · January 2012

Spenjamins:
jgoetz1:
I liked the article. I am a working mom because we can't afford for me not to. I just think the main point was that we should support each other as moms and that there are no easy decisions when it comes to our LOs.
There are easy decisions. I never agonized for one second about returning to work or felt guilty about being parents that both work. This idea that motherhood has to be full of these agonizing farking decisions all the time is craaaazy talk. Women need to lighten UP!

I agree with every single thing Spenjimans has said in this thread. I have NEVER once felt guilty for working and sending LO to daycare.

I love my career. We love the salary I make and things it provides for us. I would die if I had to stay at home and be a housewife all day. And I'm just a happier woman having a great, satisfying career.

Have there been days I wanted to go home early or take a 3 day weekend? Sure! But I don't feel guilty at all. I'm sorry that so many of you live like this. I could not.

kcisthebombdotcom · January 2012

Spenjamins:
NicoleWI:

Spenjamins, for heaven's sake, you must know by know that it was easy for YOU but it's different for everyone. There's black, white, and a million shades of gray. Just sayin'.

You and I are "just sayin" the same thing. I am tired of women saying that it is always a big decision with guilt involved - as has been stated several times in this post.

Right, but for many women it is a big decision between whether to SAH or to work. Some people do feel mommy guilt from time to time, whether it be from their employment status or something else about their parenting. Sure, I think that these thoughts shouldn't be so severe as in the article (and if they are, you should get some mental health) but I think most people as mothers experience some guilt and some "grass is greener on the other side" thoughts from time to time.

Spenjamins · January 2012

KC_13:
Spenjamins:
NicoleWI:

Spenjamins, for heaven's sake, you must know by know that it was easy for YOU but it's different for everyone. There's black, white, and a million shades of gray. Just sayin'.

You and I are "just sayin" the same thing. I am tired of women saying that it is always a big decision with guilt involved - as has been stated several times in this post.

Right, but for many women it is a big decision between whether to SAH or to work. Some people do feel mommy guilt from time to time, whether it be from their employment status or something else about their parenting. Sure, I think that these thoughts shouldn't be so severe as in the article (and if they are, you should get some mental health) but I think most people as mothers experience some guilt and some "grass is greener on the other side" thoughts from time to time.

I think a lot of women with self-imposed Mommy guilt love to say that EVERY MOM feels this way to make themselves feel better.

Spenjamins · January 2012

KC_13:
Spenjamins:
NicoleWI:

Spenjamins, for heaven's sake, you must know by know that it was easy for YOU but it's different for everyone. There's black, white, and a million shades of gray. Just sayin'.

You and I are "just sayin" the same thing. I am tired of women saying that it is always a big decision with guilt involved - as has been stated several times in this post.

Right, but for many women it is a big decision between whether to SAH or to work. Some people do feel mommy guilt from time to time, whether it be from their employment status or something else about their parenting. Sure, I think that these thoughts shouldn't be so severe as in the article (and if they are, you should get some mental health) but I think most people as mothers experience some guilt and some "grass is greener on the other side" thoughts from time to time.

I think a lot of women who do impose this guilt on themselves make themselves feel better by postulating that ALL women feel this way.

Iblamethebeer · January 2012

Spenjamins:
I am tired of the "But I HAVE to work" thing and women feel guilty about it. It seems an indictment against their husbands and the idea that somehow they are entitled to get a free ride...and working is some kind of punishment or something that they should not HAVE to do.

Get over it, ladies. Guilt over this is self-imposed. We all know that kids raised in happy families tend to do well, working, not working, whatever. So why spend time complaining?

The ideal situation is whatever works for you.

I seriously get on my soap box about this IRL at least once a week -- either correcting people who assume I work because I have to, or calling upper middle class women out when they claim they "have to" work. Own the choice, ladies, because that's what it is.

SunMoon&Stars · January 2012

Spenjamins:
I think a lot of women who do impose this guilt on themselves make themselves feel better by postulating that ALL women feel this way.

I agree with this and everything else Spenjamins said in this thread.

Thank God I'm not the only one to roll her eyes at this article. I'm so tired of seeing this posted on facebook prefaced by "OMG, this is such a great article!!" I'm also tired of the expectation that I feel guilty for being employed.

SunMoon&Stars · January 2012

tosababy:

This article isn't even a debate.

It's just a sad attempt at a unity horse.

And this.

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